


Long Road Ahead

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe, Any one can die, Dreams, F/M, Gen, Ruthless!Maggie, not set in stone, possible pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-15 01:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3433289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their group is getting smaller by the day, and what's worse is that they are haunted by their personal demons. A bitter and devastated Maggie Greene tries to move on from her losses, but there is worse in store for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It was dark, and the birds were chirping.

Sighing once more as she checked the number of bullets they had in one hand, she bit her tongue hard enough to draw blood as her belly rumbled once more.

Things weren't getting any easier.

They hadn't been easier, not since daddy...

No, she couldn't think of that, she thought hurriedly. She couldn't relive the pain. The awful memories.

But it all came flooding back anyway no matter what she did. The sun flashing off the sword. A horrified blood curling scream from some woman as the sword slashed, and hit its target.

It took a while to realise it was her who was screaming.

Snapping back to reality, Maggie quickly checked the bullets again and desperately ignored the belly rumbling. They were nearly out of bullets, they were most definitely out of food.

Yep, things weren't getting any easier.

"I'm going out to look for some food", she told the next person on lookout.

"You shouldn't do that," Sasha warned. "It's not safe out here alone, in the dark. You know that better than anybody".

The words weren't meant to hurt, but they hurt all the same. Like a knife to the gut, the same knife that...

No, she wasn't there. They were here, in the dark forest with only string cans and a lookout for protection. Shivering even though there wasn't a wind in the air, Maggie glared at Sasha for bringing up unwanted memories.

"I can handle myself. Rick says I'm the best shot we have and-" Maggie was cut off. 

"I don't give a damn what Rick says. Besides, I'm pretty sure he won't be sending out the best shot he's got in the middle of the night for some fool's errand. Come back to bed, you haven't slept in days. I know".

Maggie went to step out, but Sasha grabbed onto her arm tightly.

"Let go of me", Maggie hissed but Sasha shook her head.

"No, you are coming back to bed. Either you go by yourself, or I will have to make you", there was now a warning in Sasha's voice. A warning Maggie didn't particularly like.

"Fine", Maggie snarled, and with a kick to the ground drew up some dust. Sasha sneezed unexpectedly, and even though Maggie would have felt bad about that a couple of months back, she didn't feel anything now.

Just emptiness.

She went to her "bed", which was too kind a word for it. Daddy had always told her to make the best of a bad situation, but she couldn't see how literally sleeping on the ground with a plastic sheet was meant to help matters.

Lying down on the ground, she tried to close her eyes but she just couldn't. The forest was alive this time of night.

It kept her alive.

Sighing, she looked at the man before her. She felt a stinging sensation in the pit of her stomach, as if she was the one being stabbed and not...

Glenn.

Maggie listened to the chirping of the cicadas because sleep was a distant place she could not enter. She wanted to be alone. Away from everyone, but the reality of everything was a constant reminder that she could not reach a place of serenity. The tears began to fall as this dawned on her.

She had tried to hide it. She really did. Rick had asked after her plenty of times as did Bob and Sasha, but she kept going strong. Or so she believed.

They all had jobs to do. Her job was to keep on going, making it. For daddy and Beth and for Glenn.

But it wasn't meant to be.

As she lay crying into the night, the man before her turned around. She didn't notice at first, but once she did she quickly wiped her face with her hands. The sensation came back, only this time it had dulled down into something awful.

Something bitter.

She glared at the man before her, and turned around to face away from him. She could see the hurt in his eyes, but she did not care.

As far as she was concerned, Daryl could rot in Hell. He had let Beth down, and he had let her husband down.

And for that, she could never forgive him.


	2. Dreams and Guns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group wake up for a new day, but tragedy strikes.

It was the silence that woke her up. 

Her hands instinctively clutched around her trusty gun, finger on the trigger. She bolted up straight, to see... 

Nothing. 

And in a panic, she quickly got up to her feet and raised her gun. 

"Where are you?!" She shouted, gun in the air and daring anybody to approach her. 

But nobody answered. Nobody arrived. 

The silence daunted on her, and it was a horrible silence. She dropped her gun and covered her ears, as the silence turned into a horrible screech. This wasn't right, it wasn't normal. The brownish and reddish leaves crunched under her boots, but she could not hear them. 

It was the abnormal sound she heard. 

"It's just a dream", she whispered to herself. "Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream". 

But then he was there, and she almost collapsed in relief.

"Glenn, please", she whispered, tears in her eyes. "Please forgive me". 

The man before her stared blankly at her, cold eyes melded from stone. His warm smile had been replaced by a grim smirk, and his skin was the most pale she had ever seen it. 

And the wound, oh god the wound. 

His white jumper was stained red. It was innocence lost. 

The dagger in the gut, the screams and the yells and the shouts and the... 

"MAGGIE" 

\---

She awoke gasping, covered in sweat. She was still in the forest, but the group were there. Vivid greens and oranges were the colours that greeted her. Not the colour of muck and blood. 

She could relax now. 

But she couldn't. They had made sure of that. 

"What happened?" Maggie asked in a quiet voice to Sasha, who was standing over her looking extremely concerned. It was obvious in her brown eyes. 

"You had a bad dream from the look of things. Bob tried to wake you up earlier, but you know what he's like. Damn fool is too kind for his own good". 

Maggie smiled weakly, thinking of another fool who was too kind for his own good. 

"Come on, get up. Rick's telling us where we are going today". 

"I just hope we aren't staying here for another night. I don't know how much more of it I can take". 

"The insects?" Sasha asked sympathetically. Maggie nodded, but it wasn't the real reason. 

As Sasha gave her a pat on her shoulder before turning around and walking away, Maggie went out to grab onto her trusty gun. Only it wasn't there. 

Panicking, Maggie quickly stood up and lifted the plastic sheets. It wasn't there. 

She turned around and quickly stormed towards Sasha. She ignored Tara's meek "good morning" and Oscar's blunt thanks for yesterday's dinner, and she reached out to grab Sasha's shoulder. 

"Hand it over", Maggie all but shouted at the woman before her. She could feel the eyes staring, like needles shivering upon her skin. 

But she didn't care. She just needed her gun. If she didn't have it, she wouldn't feel safe. No thoughts of her daddy or Bethy could cheer her up without that gun. 

It only took one trigger, and she would be home with the pair of them. Glenn would be there as well, and Otis and Patricia. Shawn would be smiling that doofy grin of his, and Annette and her mom would be gossiping away. 

"Hand what over?" Sasha asked confused, dashing away all thoughts of a home she will never have again. 

"My gun", Maggie gritted her teeth. 

"What gun?" Sasha asked once again, her confusion growing. Maggie quickly pressed her hands forward to Sasha's holster, determined to get it back. 

"It's not there, where is it", Maggie was beginning to get desperate. She could feel sweat flowing. One day that would have made her embarrassed, and she would have laughed about it with Glenn. 

Now it made her nauseous. 

"Just please, give it to me Sasha. I'm not going to fucking shoot myself!" Maggie was on her knees now, literally begging Sasha. 

She hated to admit it, but she felt like she had been on her knees for a long time now. This world had done that, this god forsaken world of shit. 

"Look Maggie, you are tired. Isn't she, Tara?" Sasha looked over at Tara for support. Tara smiled with a touch of weariness in her eyes and she walked over softly. 

"Sasha's right Maggie. You shouldn't be pushing yourself like this. Go back to bed, I'm sure Rick won't mind". 

Tara meant well, but Maggie snapped. 

"Bed? What bed, Tara? A plastic sheet covered in shit? In the old world you wouldn't have paid me to have slept here like we have. No, I want my gun and then I'm going to hear what Rick has to say". 

"Maggie", there was a warning in Oscar's voice. Maggie turned herself around to face him. She felt the tears beginning to glisten in her eyes. 

She just wanted to get out of this fucking forest once and for all. 

Why was that so hard to understand? 

Beth would have... 

A shot fired, and her hands gave away. 

"CARL!" Rick's voice had cut through, and Maggie looked up confused. There was their leader running like a mad man, out to protect his family no matter the costs. 

"Here dad", Carl had answered back in to rush. She could feel something in her heart there, and with a horror she realised it was jealously taking over. 

She was jealous of a little boy. 

"Okay, Oscar and Sasha get your guns out. Maggie, you too. I'm going to need you all. Tara, you bring Carl to Bob, he's keeping lookout up front. Daryl went off hunting a couple of hours ago, it could be him". 

And with that they were off. Sasha had handed Maggie her spare gun, a colt python. It felt alien to her, but that didn't matter. 

What mattered was that she was going to save the man who didn't save her husband or her sister. 

'Why should he be saved?' She asked herself furiously. He let Beth get shot by that Dawn woman, and Glenn... 

No, she had to focus. Rick counted on her, as did Oscar and Sasha. She couldn't fail them. She was better than that, she promised to herself. 

She always promised herself that. 

The sight they were greeted to wasn't a pretty one. It was far from pretty, and boarded on train-wreck levels. 

The man who had hunted for them through all these years was flat on his back. There was a hole where his head should be. Blood was everywhere. 

And she wrenched. 

Even though they hadn't eaten in weeks, the pits of her stomach still left her in the most horrible way. 

And all for a man who she absolutely despised. 

Daryl Dixon is a fighter, Carol had always told her. It's what she would always hear as they scavenged the ruins of the countryside. 

"He doesn't give up. He never gave up on my Sophia, he never gave up on me. I admire that about him". 

She and Glenn used to joke about how fairy tallish it all sounded. Nobody was that perfect. They all had their faults, and they had all thought about giving up at some point. 

Now it seemed like he had finally given up in the worst way. Even though her daddy was a very loving and caring man, he was still religious to the core. 

And suicide was a sin, even in this world. 

Based on the other's reactions she wasn't the only one who was shook up. Rick had dropped to his knees and just stared. Oscar blinked back some tears, but overall kept his composure. He was a proud man in that way. 

Sasha shook her head sadly. 

"We bury him, and then we go", she spoke sternly. Rick turned around, and nodded. 

Maggie looked over, and realised that her trusty gun was in the palm of Daryl's hands. 

\--- 

The funeral was a short affair. She had helped Rick, Oscar and Bob with the digging. She remembered that ironically it was Daryl who had found these shovels in the first place. 

"I used to carry one around with me", Sasha had boasted proudly to Bob. 

"You, with a shovel. I don't believe it", Bob had laughed. It was a rich sound. Sasha shoved him lightly. 

"And why is it so hard to believe? Because I'm a woman?" She challenged back, fire in her eyes. 

Oscar had whistled and Tara had grinned. Maggie kept back a few steps, not wanting to join in. It had reminded her all too much of a life long ago. 

"No, my dear Sasha. It's just that you've gotten so good with that spear of yours, I-". 

"Maggie, I will take over", Sasha had interrupted her thoughts once again. She was getting pretty good at doing that. 

Maggie nodded, and held up her hand so she could be lifted from the hole. As she did so, Sasha gripped onto her tightly and hugged her. 

"Listen, it's not your fault", she whispered. "I know you hated him, we all know that". Maggie noticed Rick had stopped digging briefly to listen in. 

Rick had tried his hardest to get through to her, to convince her it wasn't Daryl's fault. Maggie had ignored him like she ignored everything these days. Nothing was going to convince her otherwise. Her daddy would have been ashamed of her, but back then all she cared about was the hole in Beth's head and the twisted knife in Glenn's gut. 

"But Maggie, he killed himself. This is not your fault". 

Maggie looked into Sasha's eyes then, and nodded. 

"Yes I hated him. And I'm glad it was my gun that killed him", and with that she stormed off, ignoring the look of concern from Sasha and the glare from Rick. 

They continued digging, preparing for Daryl's final resting place.


	3. Fields And Arrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group hit the road, and Maggie finds herself reflecting on the past and what's changed.

They left at mid-noon after paying their respects. 

Maggie stared out the window as the blurs of trees and fields passed by. The odd animal and walker also made an appearance, but she didn't think too much about it. 

It was just a part of life now. 

And death, she supposed with a bitter edge. 

The group were mostly silent. Bob was trying to get the mood up, he always did. She wished she could smile at his jokes, but all he reminded her of was Glenn. 

And the thought of Glenn just about kills her now. She hated to admit that, but ever since that damned Hospital...

She had lost everything. The joy of life and the future, not that there was much of it before but at least it was still there. Now it wasn't. 

Trying as hard as she could to ignore the way her shirt sticked at the back of the car seat as well as Bob's banter with Oscar, who seemed to be as annoyed as she was, she looked at the front of the car. 

Rick was driving, with Carl next to him. Ahead of them was the red truck Sasha was currently driving, with Tara probably doing the same as Bob.

Any other recent death and this would have annoyed her extremely. All of this banter and attempts to pretend everything was okay. 

But he was the one who had passed away. And for that they could make all the jokes they wanted. 

Nothing was crueler a joke than him letting Glenn and Beth get killed. 

Glancing at the middle mirror, Maggie realised she was staring. And Rick was staring back. Embarrassed, she quickly looked away as fast as she could. 

There had been tension between the two ever since that fateful day. She hated to admit it, but it was true. He didn't like the way she treated his brother in all but blood.

He had tried to talk to her multiple times, but it didn't work. 

She remembered a conversation, what seemed like a long time ago. 

"It's not his fault. He might have come up with the plan, bu-" 

"You've just said it", she had screamed and shouted and raged. "He came up with the plan, Rick. He did. We all know what it's like, keeping hostages in this sort of world. As if the other side actually gives a shit. Look at what happened back at the prison. Michonne and Daddy, they died regardless of what we di-" 

"That isn't the same", Rick had snarled. 

"Exactly!" Maggie had really screamed then. "We should have learned something back then. You were willing to give up the prison, and look what happened. They still died anyway. Daryl should have known that". 

And then the bitter blow arrived, a slap in the face almost. 

"Then you shouldn't have left with Abraham for that damn mission". 

Shaking her head as if to shoo away the thoughts, Maggie concentrated looking outside the car window. 

Deep down she knew she should have been there with them, going out to rescue her sister. Instead she was on some fool's errand mission trying to get something she didn't even believe in. Not really. 

It didn't matter though. It wasn't her who came up with the plan. She would have protested if she had been there, but Rick should have as well. 

"A few miles", Rick spoke suddenly. "A few miles and we will check out that mall Tara talked about. We might stay there for a couple of weeks, catch our breaths". 

"Copy that, Tara", Carl spoke to the walkie talkie. Maggie smiled slightly then. Carl didn't talk much, not since Judith and the prison. But he seemed to get on okay with the woman who helped out Glenn. 

She really needed to find a way to thank her, she thought then. If it wasn't for Tara, she doubted she would have been able to spend a few more days with Glenn. 

"Copy". 

The cars continued on in harmony, with little to no trouble. They had to stop once to take a detour due to a herd, which cost them a couple of hours but they were back on track. All the sights of death and destruction was about to arrive, she knew. So she did all she could to take in the scenery. 

The calm before the storm. 

Before the urban sprawl was upon them, Maggie found herself staring at the endless fields once again but only this time, something caught her attention. 

It was just another walker really, but there was something jarring about this one. With a blood splattered grey cardigan and ripped blue jeans, the rotting hair of a dead skull, a female walker who could have been in her early twenties was just straggling about. One step after the other. 

It really caught her attention, and she didn't know why. It was just another walker. She had killed hundreds of them, possibly even thousands. 

But she knew why. It wore similar clothes to the ones Beth had worn on her last day alive. 

Shaking her head once again, she found herself falling asleep as the events of the day caught up to her. Daryl was dead, and they were finally out of the forests. 

\--- 

She awoke with a gasp, and looked around. Nobody was there, nothing was there.

She was out in the middle of a field, and she examined the area close to her. All the tents had been packed up and gone, all except her own. 

Where was she, why was she here? Where were the group? Why was she here? 

A smirk escaped, and she found herself running after the deer. 

She wouldn't let the prey escape from her. Not this time. She was so hungry, as was the baby inside her. 

Resting back a little, she aimed the bow as low as she could, perfecting that aim. 

And with a little tug on the string, the arrow let loose and hit the deer. 

Resisting the urge to shout and scream at her happiness, Maggie quickly let loose another arrow and then another before the deer could fully escape from her. 

As she walked forward to claim the meat as hers it struck her odd that she was even here in the first place. 

Wasn't she at the car with Rick and the others? 

"Yes", a voice had answered. 

She turned around, and there he was. 

Daryl Dixon was staring at her with cold and vacant eyes. He was exactly like she last saw him. Massive hole in the head, covered in muck and blood. 

And in his hand was her gun. 

She set out to kill him immediately. 

"You're dead", she whispered to herself. "You're dead, like Glenn and Beth". 

And she let loose an arrow, the very last one. Only it missed the target completely unlike the deer. 

Daryl laughed then. 

"No, I'm not. You are". 

And just like that, she felt a blow to the head and fell to the ground. The world went blank. 

\--- 

Gasping, Maggie woke up in alarm to see a worried Bob standing over her. 

Why weren't they in the car? 

"She's awake", Bob cried out in relief. 

"Urgh, what happened?" Maggie asked in a dazed and confused state. 

She could tell almost immediately. The car they were in had overturned and was upside down. Broken glass littered the road, and the truck in front had stopped. 

But that wasn't their only problem. 

She could hear the shouts and screams of her fellow survivors. Turning around slowly as the reality of her situation hit in, she saw Rick, Sasha and Oscar fighting back a horde of walkers. 

Sasha screamed furiously as she tightened her hold on her spear and struck her target through the eye. Rick narrowly avoided the spear hitting him by ducking, which allowed another walker to try and get him. Rick didn't let him though, and a firm but effective swipe to the head with his machete did the trick. 

Oscar kicked back another walker as one got too close, and used this timing well to deliver a well struck blow to the head with his axe. 

"Help me up", Maggie muttered under her breath. 

"Come on Maggie, we need to get you out of here. They are coming", Bob was panicking now. Even though being an army medic he had long since dealt with trouble like this back in Afghanistan, he still freaked out whenever the group were in danger. 

"I am not being the last one", he had whispered harshly to her one night, in one of those rare times when he wasn't being happy and cheerful. "Never again". 

"We've got to help them though", Maggie was beginning to panic herself now. She could more than look after herself, but she didn't want to let other people die because of her. 

It was bad enough she hated a man for doing the exact same thing without doing it herself. 

"Just, come here", he held his hand up and pulled her up slowly but surely. Maggie winced in pain but she shakily stood up all the same. 

"Where's Tara and Carl?" Maggie asked with a hint of panic in her voice. 

Bob noticed. "They're out of here, running for a nearby cabin. We will follow them, and the rest will pick up speed". 

Maggie reached out for her holster and grabbed her gun. She checked to make sure it was properly loaded (it was) before turning around to see the desperate battle for survival. 

"I've got to help them", she said there and then, and the panic dissolved. 

Ice cold, she shivered as she aimed the gun. Ignoring Bob's attempts, she pulled the trigger and hit her target. A target which had nearly grabbed onto Sasha and would have bit her in the neck. 

Rick turned his head around and roared at her. 

"What are you doing, you will attract more of them", before focusing back at the sight before them. 

Multiple walkers were on them now, frenzied by the gunshot. 

"We need to go", Sasha shouted. "Come on!". 

And with that they were off. Bob and Sasha helped support Maggie as they ran, whilst Rick kept the walkers off their backs and Oscar lead the way. 

The flee for survival continued. Walkers snarling, moaning and groaning their way through the endless field. The survivors' hurried breaths, gasps and curses as they continued to run, ignoring the jaggy nettles and the constant slashes at their skin from the long grass. 

"We are almost there", Oscar had shouted then, and Maggie looked up to see that he was right. 

Tara was hurrying them over, her eyes wide and alert. "Guys, come on. There's hundreds of them!"


	4. Racetracks and Barns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group find themselves in a tough position as they try to escape from the herd.

Tara pushed her weight against the door as quick as she could, and Maggie couldn't have been more grateful. 

"Quick, come on", Carl was heard shouting. 

Maggie briefly turned around to see where Rick was before getting dragged into the cottage by the supportive Bob and Sasha, and from the sound of their loud breathing they were just as terrified as she was. 

They would get through it. They had to. 

Rick himself quickly turned around and fired his colt python, hitting the closest walker near him. Another walker snarled and reached out with its arms, but Rick pulled the trigger again. He missed and hit the shoulder, and it just caused the creature along with the others nearby to go into a frenzy. 

"Rick, come on!" Oscar roared, his own gun in hand and with careful aiming picked off the targets that were closest to Rick. 

Rick listened to that advice and quickly ran into the cottage, panting as the reality of their situation kicked in. 

Rick slammed the door shut, and then turned around to examine the area. 

"I'm fine, really", Maggie whispered to Sasha and Bob and tried to get away from their support. They meant well, but she needed to do everything she could in order to keep this group alive. 

Nobody was dying again. Not under her watch, that's for sure. 

"Right", Rick the leader's voice was out in full force, meaning that he wouldn't take lightly to any sort of shit. 

"Bob, Oscar and Sasha, help me push this bookcase in front of the door. Maggie and Tara, check upstairs to find anything that could give us more time and distract the herd. Carl, you listen to me now. Don't question it. Get to the back of this house and prepare to run. Just do it". 

Maggie listened in with worried thoughts. They had come this far, there was no way in hell she was giving up. 

She had said as much to Sasha. And she was planning on keeping her word. 

Tara supported her upstairs, the impact of the car crash still lingering. But Maggie didn't care for the shooting sensations up her leg. What mattered now was getting the fuck out of this place before the door and windows broke through. 

And then it would be all over. 

"I'll check this room, you do that one", Maggie told Tara and she obeyed without any hesitation. Maggie staggered forward whilst trying to steady herself, focusing on reaching the door and opening it. 

As she did so, the sight that greeted her nearly made her vomit the food she had eaten earlier (which wasn't a lot). 

What had once been a little boy was now no more than a skeleton on his bed. His bones were clear to see. His eyes showed deprivation of food. His hand reached out and he hissed at her, wanting to get her. 

Only it couldn't even move. Maggie knew if he tried a little bit harder, his legs would end up snapping. He was too weak to move. 

Blinking back a couple of tears and remembering the situation they were in, Maggie reached out for her knife tied up to her belt and aimed it precisely at its head. And with a slight motion, she had ended the skeleton's life. 

She reached for her belly after putting the knife away, thinking of what could have been. 

But now was the time. 

And like that she turned around to find anything of use. Anything that would distract the herd, make them think they were in the house when they would be miles away. 

And just like that, she found it. A child's car race play set which required batteries to work. She felt a cold stab at her heart as she looked at a little tag tied up by the set. 

Jason. 

Maggie grabbed the device and hobbled out of the room, her breath panicky. They didn't have much time now, she imagined. Even with the bookcase. 

"I hope this works", and for the first time in a long time, she found herself praying to God. 

"Maggie!" She heard Tara shout. Maggie entered the hallway to face the woman before her, who had a little doll in her hand. 

"It talks", Tara explained. Maggie nodded, her thoughts still on the little boy called Jason who hid away in his room, worried why his parents hadn't come home yet. Hiding as he starved away... 

"Are you okay?" Tara asked as they walked down the stairs, Tara supporting her. 

"Yes, come on", Maggie responded, not wanting to think about Jason now. They needed to get out of here, and soon. 

But to their horror, they heard screams and shouts. 

The first thing she saw was the overturned bookcase, and a couple of walkers falling through the door space. 

"Come on!" Rick was roaring now, the panic evident in his eyes. 

One of the walkers grabbed onto Bob's leg, and before it could take a bite Sasha aimed her gun and pulled the trigger, ending the fucker's life. Oscar quickly grabbed onto his machete and with a full swing hit the other right in the head. 

They started running then, Tara and Oscar supporting Maggie. More of the walkers were coming through, breathing down their necks. Jason's racetrack and his sister's doll were dropped on the floor, left to be forgotten about amongst so many possessions in this shitty world. 

Carl quickly opened the back door and the group piled out. Even though Maggie knew it was impossible, an irrational side of her was thinking that the walkers were gaining up in speed. 

"Into the woods, now", Rick was leading the way, gun in hand and ready to hit hit any target that came his way. 

Maggie noticed in horror more walkers coming from the forests and approaching them. There was a very good chance they could be separated, and Maggie knew nothing worse than for that to happen. 

The last time they got separated, they lost nearly everybody. 

And she wasn't letting that happen again. Not ever again. 

Unfortunately her vows went unheard and indeed they did get separated. A dozen walkers reached out from the bushes, and Bob and Sasha had to dodge the closest ones to them as did Oscar, which pulled Maggie and Tara closer to him and in his path. 

"Remember the mall!" They could hear Rick shout then. "Get to the mall, that's our meet up point". 

And just like that, they found themselves running deeper into the woods, the walkers a few steps behind them. 

"Just leave me", Maggie whispered as the heat of the sun got too much. "I'm dragging you down, just leave me". 

"Shut up", Oscar hissed under his breath. "We are getting through this". 

Tara agreed. "We are, Maggie. Remember what you said to Sasha, you will never give up". 

The three of them continued running for what seemed like eternity, or trying to run anyway. Maggie knew her weight was slowing the pair of them down. 

"Look, a barn", Tara pointed out. Maggie looked up, and indeed there was a barn. 

"We should get in", Tara continued rattling on, her nerves getting the better of her. 

"We can't", Oscar pointed out. The three of them stopped, but only briefly. "We will get trapped in there". 

"No, we can", Maggie quickly shooed Oscar and Tara away. She could handle herself now. "We just block the doors, get ready and then let them in. We pick them off one by one. I did it at the prison. You and Tara just follow my lead". 

Oscar looked skeptical, but he screwed his face up. "Might as well". 

The three of them approached the barn. Maggie turned around briefly to count at twenty or thirty of them, maybe even more approaching. 

It was going to be a tough fight. 

But she would do it. For Beth. For daddy. For Glenn. She would do it. 

They entered the barn, and Maggie had to cover her mouth with the cough that erupted. The place smelt of shit, and the dust didn't help matters. She had grown up on a farm, but it had been so long... 

And she had smelt worse things. 

"Hurry up", Oscar was in command, from the looks of things. He placed a barrier above the door handles. 

As Maggie started walking about and looking for any weapons to use, she noticed a pair of ladders. Looking above, there was a ledge. 

Their escape route, if things went sour. 

"Tara, help me with this", Maggie told her and she did. Her leg was still sore, but it would recover. 

Her life would not. 

"Just in case", Maggie smiled weakly at her. 

"Just in case", Tara smiled, but it felt forced. Tears seemed to be glistening in her eyes. 

"Tara, what's wrong? We will get through this, you told me so yourself". 

"It's not that", Tara turned to look at Oscar, who was too busy going through the bullets in his gun. 

"What is it? You can tell me", Maggie reached out to support her shoulder, but Tara flinched away. 

"You will hate me", Tara's voice was beginning to crack. Tears were streaming down her face. 

"Tara, don't be so fucking ridiculous", Maggie began to laugh now. Oscar looked up, but Maggie turned around and shook her head. At that moment, the walkers finally reached the barn and started to slam their hands on the doors. 

It was not a pleasant sound. 

"I can't and I won't hate you. You are one of the only people I know to be alive in this shitty world. My entire family is dead. You are my family now. Everyone of us". 

"But that's just it", Tara blurted out. "Your family, your real family is dead. And it's all my fault". 

"What, of course it is-" 

"You don't understand", Tara was particularly screaming now, which just made the walkers even worse. 

"Guys", Oscar warned, but Tara continued on. Maggie was getting more confused by the second. What on earth was Tara blabbering on about? They should be getting ready to kill those things right now, not going on about nonsense. 

"I was with the Governor. I helped him at the prison. I didn't do anything to save your dad or that woman". 

And just like that, her world shattered like glass. 

At first, she didn't know what to think. Really, Tara? Glenn found her on the road. How on earth could she have been on the road? 

But it all made sense now. The secret glances between Glenn and Tara whenever she mentioned her dad, or Beth. How Glenn didn't seem willing to talk about Tara's past. All of it. 

He had lied to her. 

And she had lied to her. 

And she exploded. 

"You fucking bitch", and just like that she slapped her right across the chops. And she made sure it stung. 

"You are the reason why we are in this mess. You are the reason why my dad's head was chopped off, why my sister and my husband are rotting six feet under", and like that she was on top of her. 

Oscar tried to get her off, but she kept kicking and screaming. Tara kept crying and tried to cover herself, but she wouldn't let go. 

"Let go, Maggie", she could hear Glenn saying. 

But she couldn't. Not now, not ever. 

And just then, they heard a sickening crunch. 

She quickly turned around, and her anger gave way to horror as the walkers' weight gave in and broke through the barrier. 

The horde was in, and they had little time. 

Quickly grabbing onto her machete, Maggie pushed past Oscar and hobbled to the nearest walker. Quick as a snake, she struck her target in the forehead and pulled it out, making the blood splatter all over her. 

She did not care. All she could think about was Tara, the fucking snake in the grass. Everybody was dead because of her. 

Everybody. 

She slashed, she stuck, she did everything. She could briefly see the familiar bodies of Oscar and Tara working alongside her, but if anything it enraged her more. 

She should not be here. 

And just like that, she staggered back a little. Oscar was shouting at her to move forward, back in formation. But she didn't hear the words. She only guessed. 

Tara was in front of her, and she dropped the machete. She grabbed her gun and aimed. 

And she pulled the trigger.


	5. Killers and Murderers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie faces what she has done and tries to escape from it.

The world was spinning. 

With the walkers approaching, their mouths snarling and their rotten teeth ready to bite into flesh and bone, Maggie found herself about to fall down. 

She needed to get out of here. 

Away from what she had done, away from everything. 

Tara. Oh god, Tara...

Blinking back and finding herself back in the barn, she saw a couple of walkers were close to her. Grabbing the fallen machete, Maggie quickly rolled away from the walker's hands and pushed herself up with her arms. 

Despite the aching pain in her leg, she needed to do this. She needed to get out here. 

And Oscar as well. 

Snarling, Maggie quickly struck her machete up and hit her target perfectly. The walker fell down, but the machete was stuck. 

Panicking, Maggie tried to get it out, but the harder she gripped onto the blade the more it seemed to stick in. 

Blood was drawing from her hands, she saw. 

And there wasn't enough time. More walkers were piling into the barn. 

"Oscar", she shouted then as she pushed back the walker nearest to her into several others. She turned around to see the former convict trying as hard as he could to get the monsters away from him. 

"Oscar, come on!" Things were getting desperate now, and she backed away as more walkers approached. She backed away enough to feel the cool steel of the ladders. 

The only way out now. 

Quickly turning around, Maggie climbed up them as fast as she could with her injured leg, not wanting to die today. 

Not today, not ever. 

Reaching the ledge, Maggie pulled herself up and saw a desperate Oscar surrounded by the walkers. There was no way he was surviving. 

And with Tara's body already getting chewed on by the walkers, Maggie realised it was a lost cause. 

She pushed the ladders down, and turned away to see a gap which allowed her to jump from the barn. 

Hoping to god she made a soft landing, she did just that. 

And fell into a bay of hay. 

As she climbed out coughing and spluttering, the reality of what she had done hit her like a ton of bricks and she puked. 

She had just murdered somebody, she thought with horror. What would daddy say? She wondered. 

She didn't know, but she knew for a fact if there was a Hell... 

She would be its number one guest. 

Vomiting more of her weak and small rations, Maggie pulled herself up and supported herself from the side of the barn. She could hear Oscar's screams, but they were drowned out by the noise of the herd. 

From the sounds of things, they hadn't caught on that she was on the other side of the barn. 

Safe. 

She took a look at the gun and instinctively threw it away. 

Maggie had killed before. She could still remember the dusty old boiler room, the blood curling screams of a friend as she had dug the knife in to get Judith. The sticky hot blood on her fingers as she dug a bone into a soldier's neck. 

All of the men and woman alike she had shot as they tried to get to her back at the prison. 

The massacre at the church...

"No, it's just four walls and a roof", she had coldly spoken, blood splattered in her nice clothes. 

But this one, this one was different. 

She had known Tara for a couple of months now. Glenn had brought her into the group. "She saved me", he told her one night. "I wouldn't know where to be without her". 

Only he had saved her. Brought her back from the prison. Brought the woman who helped kill her daddy to her group, her family. 

She was even friends with her... 

She felt the food coming back up again, and she vomited. 

But she didn't regret a thing. 

And Glenn had lied to her. 

It tainted the memory, somewhat. She knew it was bad, but right now, all she could think of was how he lied to her. 

He had lied to her. Betrayed her in the most horrible way. 

But now was not the time, she realised. A hiss emerged, and she turned around to see a couple of stragglers approaching. 

Reaching out for her machete only to realise she did not have it with her, Maggie cursed. 

"Fuck". 

Things were not looking good. 

They were about to be worse. 

Staggering back a little, the injuries catching up to her, Maggie hesitated before reaching out for her gun and aiming. 

Would she do it? 

The noise would attract attention, and that was the last thing she needed right now. 

No, she would try and get back to Rick and the others. Reach for that mall, she still knew the place. 

She thought. 

Turning around, Maggie started limping as fast as she could. She could hear the moans of the dead behind her. They were at the same pace as her, she realised. But it didn't matter. 

She needed to get away from this place, all of it. 

She found herself heading into the forest and began to ran. Endless trees and colours of brown and orange flew by her. 

It did not matter. She still couldn't get rid of the sight of her raising that gun and firing the trigger. 

And Oscar, she didn't even know if he saw. He was too busy with his own problems. 

And she had left him behind. 

Shaking her head, Maggie continued to limp only to trip over a branch. Screaming in pain, Maggie rolled around on her back and reached out to he leg. 

The stragglers were upon her, she realised with horror. 

"No, please no. God have mercy, please", she found herself whispering hurriedly. 

She closed her eyes as one fell on top of her and she raised her arms out to stop it from fully falling on her. 

This couldn't be the end. It just couldn't be. 

As the walker's mouth reached out to bite her, Maggie saw a world where she and Glenn were sitting on a bench, eating ice cream as their children played in front of them. The eldest daughter, the one she had lost, was looking after her younger siblings. 

"Why did you lie to me?" She asked Glenn suddenly, and she saw him froze. 

"I didn't want to burden you. And Tara was a good woman Maggie". 

Maggie sighed and looked down at her sundress. It had been a while since she had worn one of those. 

"I know. But she helped the man who killed my father. The man who led us out on the road in the first place. Surely you understand that?" She looked at his soft brown eyes. 

Glenn smiled slightly. "I do". 

And then the gun fired, and her world vanished in a blur. 

Maggie looked up to see a dead rotter on top of her. The other walker had fallen down on top of it and was trying to reach out to her. To bite her.

It almost succeeded, but another bullet fired and the walker now was devoid of life. 

If there was a trade of life in there the first place. 

Panting at how close she came to dying, Maggie put all her effort into pushing the bodies away and went out to reach her gun. 

She did not know who this person was, but past experience taught her to always be distrustful. 

It had saved her life in more than one occasion. 

Blinking as the figure walked forward, Maggie realised with horror that it was Oscar. 

And he did not look happy to see her. 

"You fucking bitch", he snarled and spat at the ground. "You murdered her". 

And just like that, she found herself fighting for her life once again. 

Before she could aim her gun to tell him to back off, Oscar lurched forward and pulled her from her feet. The two of them fell to the ground with a sickening crunch, and the leaves scattered in their wake. 

Oscar held his hands on Maggie's neck and began to squeeze tightly. Maggie started choking and her face turning blue, green eyes watering as the reality of her situation hit her. 

She was going to die. 

No matter how many promises and vows she made to herself. 

He death was in the stars. 

Oscar looked more angry than she had ever seen him. Maggie knew that she deserved every blow she received here. 

She should not have killed Tara. She knew that now. 

But she wasn't giving up without a fight. It just was not in her. 

Reaching out with her arms, Maggie tried to grab something, anything. And her fingers found a large rock. 

Tightening her grip around it, Maggie started to blank out as her body began to shut down. 

She was too late. 

However, damned if she wasn't at least throwing a punch in. 

And that is what she did. With all her might, she forced her arm holding the rock to hit Oscar in the head. 

Oscar cried out in pain and a bloody cut is what he got for his troubles. He let go off Maggie's neck, and not wasting a moment to breathe, Maggie quickly kneed him in the balls. As Oscar fell over, Maggie quickly ducked down to grab onto her gun. 

As she did so, Oscar got up with frightening speed. His determination to avenge Tara was no small thing. Despite the pain, he grabbed onto Maggie's hair and pulled back as hard as he could. 

Maggie yelled out in pain and kicked with all her might, even if it was just the forest ground she was hitting. She found herself vulnerable to Oscar as he landed a good couple of sickening punches to her face. 

The third time he laid his hand on her, Maggie reached out and bit him with all her worth. He howled in pain then, and she used this valuable opportunity the best she could. 

She quickly grabbed onto the gun, and not even checking to see if it was loaded began firing the trigger. She missed the first time, but the second, third and fourth time her bullets hit its target and Oscar fell to the ground. 

Maggie collapsed and began to sob as she looked at the body before her. She could hear him breathing, still not fully giving up. 

But his fight was over now. 

Maggie made sure of it, as she grabbed the large rock and walked over to him. His brown eyes looked at her in hatred and disbelief, and then fear and vulnerability replaced the emotions. 

Daddy had said before that the eyes were the window to the soul. 

Closing her own, Maggie took a deep breath before dropping the large rock on Oscar's head. The breathing stopped, and the fight was over. 

Grabbing onto both hers and Oscar's gun, Maggie slowly but surely walked away. 

She had killed two of her own now. 

What was happening to her? 

But right now, all that mattered was getting to the mall.


	6. Cottages And Malls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now alone, Maggie concentrates on reaching the mall before all hope is lost.

She didn't know where to go next. 

Dizzy and about to pass out at any second, Maggie had to let herself fall down as she tried to support herself at one of the trees. 

The fight with Oscar had taken a lot out of her. It didn't come to a surprise that she was about dying here now. 

But she couldn't give up. 

She never could, not even after losing her family. 

Not after murdering two people of her own group. 

Resisting the urge to vomit once again, Maggie pulled herself up panting and shaking all the while. 

Things weren't working out at all. 

It was hard to believe it had only been the day before where Daryl had taken that fatal bullet to the head. He pulled the trigger because of her. She drove him to it. 

She was sick, but she might as well not have been due to her empty stomach and the amount of times she had been sick before... 

Then it was the Mall. That damned Mall, the one they had found on the map. She couldn't remember who had suggested it was a good idea to check it out, but whoever it was had ended up letting them in this mess in the first place. 

Shaking her head and cursing her luck, Maggie continued to stagger forward, her arms reaching out to any trees past her way so she could keep walking. 

She found a little cottage up ahead. It looked untouched by the horrors of this damned world, and for that she was grateful. 

Daddy had confessed to her it was one of the reasons why he kept going on, in those days before they found the prison. That places like their farm before the herd had arrived were untouched by the world, and still had its beauty thriving. 

Blinking back tears and blood, she couldn't tell which was which, Maggie staggered forward. Her hands clutched the gun tightly, ready to pull the trigger. 

At this point, she didn't care what happened. 

She just wanted rest. Then she would get to the mall. 

Maggie reached the door and quickly knocked on it. Waiting a couple of minutes, she walked inside to cough as the dust hit her. She was correct, it was indeed untouched. The tables, chairs, everything was left exactly where it was. 

Nothing had been looted or anything. 

Maggie quickly shut the door, and turned around to push a cabinet against the door with all her weight. Better to be safe, than to be sorry. 

It was always her motto. It got her this far alive. 

Walking slowly but surely, Maggie grabbed a pot by the counter and began to bang it against the wall, sticking to her motto. 

They might not have heard the door knock. 

And it turned out that she was indeed alone in this little cottage in the middle of nowhere. 

Sighing with relief and then wincing as the pain set in, Maggie slowly but surely walked around the room, looking at everything she could get her hands on and also use anything that could hide her from the outside world. 

Shut herself in, if only for a little while. 

So she did just that. Setting up strings and cans to alert her of any intruders, covering the windows and blocking all exits and entrances, Maggie felt safely secure. 

For now, at least. 

Yawning, Maggie found herself lying on the double bed. She rested her head on the pillow and raised the duvet cover over her. 

If it wasn't for the pain, she would have felt the most comfortable since the farm. 

But the pain reminded her all too well of what she had just endured. 

And that was when the tears started to flow. 

She had murdered Tara, and now Oscar. She wasn't right, she was sick in the head. Even though Tara had helped the Governor and Oscar had tried to kill her... 

"They didn't deserve it. I killed them". 

Remembering she had killed before, it surprised her how hard she was taking it. But she hadn't killed a loved one before. Lori didn't count. She had blamed Daryl for allowing Beth and Glenn to die, and as such she didn't let it go. 

No matter what Rick or Sasha tried. 

But Daryl hadn't directly killed them. She had. She could still remember the feeling of the trigger on her fingertips, and the shaky hands as she looked into Oscar's face before letting the rock go. 

Trying to shake away the memories, Maggie allowed herself to drift off. 

And into a world of nightmares. 

The hands were reaching out. People were screaming. Napalm was being dropped, and all news was getting cut off every second. 

People were getting torn and eaten alive. 

A man's yells as a trusted ally left him for dead. A woman's screams as she held tightly onto the young girl before her as she got dragged down by the monsters in the dark. A boy's screams as he died alone in blood and fire. 

A elderly man's smile before he got his head hacked off. A girl's confidence being her downfall as the trigger fired and the bullet hit her. A man's groans and grunts as the knife stabbed deep into the gut. 

But worst of all, was the faces before her. 

Tara and Oscar were looking at her. Their faces were emotionless. Maggie looked around and realised she was in the ruins of the prison. The overturned community tables, the abandoned tank, all the bodies of the dead. 

Alive and dead-dead. 

She screamed as Tara and Oscar approached, weapons in hands. She found herself falling to the ground and begging for forgiveness, like she hadn't in a long time. 

Until recently, anyway. 

Oscar kicked her back and picked up the rock besides her. Tara held her down with her gun at her temple. Oscar grinned at her before letting the rock go directly at her head, and Tara pulled the trigger at the same time. 

Maggie awoke in cold sweat, panicking and nearly screaming out loud. Making sure she didn't in order not to alert the dead (always so alert) Maggie took a look around the bedroom. 

Photos of a young married couple happily smiling and celebrating their wedding. Wedding cake getting cut and bows of ribbon. Flowers getting flung. 

This very well could have been their honeymoon suite. Their private and very own honeymoon suite. 

She spent her honeymoon in a prison cell getting ready for battle the next morning. 

Shaking her head at the memories, Maggie got up. She was still troubled from the encounter before, Oscar had done a number on her. 

But she could walk. And that's all that really mattered. She didn't want to be crippled and alone, defenceless for the monsters in the dark to come towards her. 

Maggie grabbed a sporting bag left out in the hallway and placed it on top of the kitchen table. She then began to raid the little cottage, grabbing every item of clothing she could get a hand of. 

Men and women's clothing, it did not matter to her. She replaced her worn out clothes with a purple jumper, black trousers that wouldn't slow her down (she made sure) and kept her trusty old boots on. 

Weird to think she had these for a couple of years now. They were probably the last things she bought out of a real shop before things went to shit. 

Shaking her head once again, Maggie tossed the bag over her shoulder and looked in the kitchen. She grabbed a large cleaver knife and placed it insider her holster like her old machete. It wasn't the same, but it would do. 

And taking one last look at the place, she undid all the traps and left the cottage behind. 

It was only one walker that was in her way, and she made sure to put a stop to that as quickly as she could. A quick slash and the walker was down, and she pulled the knife out. 

Her boots crunching on the leaves, Maggie found herself taking her time as she passed by fallen branches. She didn't want to injure herself anymore than she already had. 

The cost was too risky. She realised that more than anyone. 

After finally finding a way to get out of the forest, Maggie found herself at the edge of a small town. Willamette was the name, she observed from a fallen sign left to gather dust. 

Maggie slowly but surely creeped forward. She knew anything could be lurking in these shadows. It had cost many people's lives before and she wasn't prepared to risk it with her own. 

Maggie approached the nearest shop that looked to be one which pretty much sold everything. Only most of it was gone. 

But it didn't matter to her. All she needed was a map and she would be fine. 

Opening the door, Maggie cursed as a little bell went off. She heard a snarl, and saw a walker turning around to face it's first prey in years. 

Maggie quickly walked to the side of the shop as the walker began to stumble forward, desperate to get its teeth into her neck. Maggie sort of jogged at the back as the creature neared her, before getting behind the bookcase (that held many books, surprisingly). 

As the walker neared, Maggie pushed with all her might and it fell down on top of it. 

She grabbed the walker's hair as it was unable to move, and positioned it in a way so she could get the knife and put it out its misery. 

Sighing with exhaustion at doing this constantly, Maggie stood up slowly and looked down at the creature. 

She wondered if Oscar was in the same position. Laying out on the forest lifeless, his eyes staring up with not a care in the world. 

It's all right for some. 

Maggie turned around to face a large map which was protected by a glass frame. Looking closely, Maggie smiled at a small success as she realised that, indeed, the map included the immediate area of Willamette and outside of it. 

The mall was just nearby. If Rick, Carl, Bob and Sasha had survived the herd attack, they could be there waiting. 

Hell, they might have even cleared it out already and just waiting for the three of them. That would be nice. 

Maggie leapt over the counter and grabbed the glass frame. She placed it on the floor and kicked her boot on the glass as hard as she could. The glass shattered into a million fragments, and she grabbed the map. 

She just needed to go North of the town. She could do that. 

It would be quicker getting a car though, but most of them didn't work anymore. But it didn't hurt to try. 

She left the shop and checked the side of it. Indeed a car was there, abandoned by its owner. Maggie took a collected breath before reaching out and grabbing the handle. Praying to God it was open (she did a lot of that recently, she realised) her fingers grabbed the handle and pulled tight. 

The door clicked open. 

And she realised with joy that the keys were in, ready to be turned. 

Checking the car to make sure it had enough gas to make it to the mall, Maggie put the sports bag in the boot and found herself in the driver's seat. As she set everything up, she took a look at the mirror. 

The Maggie Greene who enjoyed having nights out, smoking and shoplifting with friends was no longer there. The Maggie Greene who tried to make up for her antics by helping her daddy and Josephine run the farm also wasn't there. 

Instead it was a broken woman who she barely recognised. Her green eyes were no longer full of life, rather empty and dull. 

Shaking away the thoughts, Maggie started up the engine and prepared to drive forwards, and her eyes saw something in the backseat. 

A yo-yo, another item left behind. 

And just then, she could see Tara joking and laughing as she played with her recent find. A yo-yo. It was the same day that she saw Beth's body being carried out from the hospital, the same day an enraged Glenn had stormed in and... 

Blinking back tears, Maggie felt herself back in that stinking barn all over again. Raising the gun. Pulling the trigger. Letting the bullet fly. 

Only it wasn't Tara she was shooting. It wasn't Oscar. 

It was Glenn. 

Maggie pushed her foot to the clutch and drove away, leaving behind the town of Willamette to its lonely fate. 

She found herself driving in the highway consumed by thoughts. One good thing in this hell on earth was that you didn't need to be alert 24/7 whilst driving. You still needed to of course, but she did enjoy the freedom whilst it lasted. 

She passed by many burnt down and or abandoned houses, towns and factories. A couple of walkers here and there, but they paid her no mind. Too busy consuming the flesh of some poor animal.

Another world and that would have bothered her. A world where she worked and lived and breathed in a farm. 

This was not that world. 

She could see the front of the mall a couple of hours later, and she sobbed slightly as everything caught up to her. 

Tara... Oscar... 

Maggie pulled the car to a stop. She knew that Rick was weary around strangers, they all were and approaching in a car was bound to get her killed. 

As she opened the handle to get out, by mere seconds did this very act save her life. The front window shattered and a bullet entered, just narrowly missing her. 

The act of reaching out for the door saved her. 

And she quickly pushed open the door and ducked. 

A couple of more bullets fired, and Maggie kept running. She didn't know whether or not this was Rick or somebody else, but she had to keep moving. 

Ducking behind a truck, Maggie realised she left the sports bag behind. Cursing her luck, Maggie grabbed onto Oscar's handgun. There wasn't much bullets left, but she will make do. 

"Rick, it's m-", she was cut off as a hand covered her mouth. 

With no hesitation, Maggie sunk her teeth into the flesh and the man before her screamed. Maggie quickly spun around and kicked the man in the bollocks, and raised her gun. 

Only she didn't raise the trigger, as she realised who it was. 

"Bob?" Maggie asked in concern. 

"Maggie", Bob wheezed as he collapsed, feeling the pain she had just dished out. 

"I'm so sorry. I-I thought you were somebody else. Why did you sneak up on me like that, I could have killed you", Maggie was beginning to panic. 

Was she destined to kill everybody in her group? 

"Don't, don't worry about it, really", Bob tried to get up and Maggie helped him. 

"What's going on. Who tried to shoot me?" Maggie wasn't fooling around and she made sure to inject some urgency into her voice. 

She was on edge, and she knew that a storm was coming. 

They needed to get to that mall, settle down. Take a break. It was her last chance. 

"Me and the others got here, and we were shot at. Some pricks have took the mall before us, and they aren't letting us in. Rick and Sasha are tying to get at them the now. Carl is hiding in that, booze store. I'm looking after him while they do their thing. Gotta, you know? They are good at what they do, and I'm..." 

He trailed off, and then asked the question she was dreading. 

"Where's Oscar and Tara?" 

She tried to keep her composure. Struggled not to let that dam break. 

She didn't want to be alone ever again. 

She looked at him, and shook her head. Bob sighed a heavy sigh, reflecting how tired he was of forever losing people. 

"Fuck sake, man. Rick's not going to like this. Our group's getting smaller everyday". 

Maggie looked at him then. "Bob, have you got any rifles?" 

Bob blinked, and nodded. "Yes, we've got a couple in the shop Carl is in. Well, only one now. Sasha took the other for this plan of theirs". 

"What plan is it?" Maggie asked, and she approached the door. Bob followed after her, and made sure to be the one to open the door. He knocked twice, then twice once more after a couple of seconds to alert Carl it was somebody friendly. 

"I'll tell you when we get inside. Maggie you best stay with us for now. We don't need to disrupt their plan. Rick and Sasha know what they are doing. Rick's brought us this far, and Sasha? Man I love that girl. She's one tough bird". 

Maggie was getting annoyed now, but it didn't matter. She needed something to do, anything. 

And Bob did have a way of letting her forget, even if for a little while. 

Carl opened the door, and his eyes widened as he saw Maggie. He quickly rushed forward and hugged her tightly, which took Maggie aback. 

"Where's Tara?! And Oscar? How did you guys get back. Dad said there was a good chance you were all dead, but I didn't believe him. Not really. I've seen you shoot, and Oscar was in prison. Tara always told me she finds a way out of things, however unlikely". 

Maggie took in the words slowly. Tara didn't get away from her bullet, but she didn't have the heart to tell him that. 

"Carl, listen to me", she kneeled down then. She knew Carl was close with Tara. After Judith... Carl had never been the same. They all knew that. He was like a little kid all over again, except when the situation called for it. 

But Tara got through to him. She made him smile. She always joked with him, played with that stupid yo-yo together. Telling him all about her niece and how she and Judith were out there somewhere, happy. 

So as she looked into his blue eyes, all she saw was Tara. 

"They never made it Carl". 

Those blue eyes watered, and she quickly hugged him. 

"Now listen to me, okay? Tara was a very strong woman, and she loved you like a little brother. I know she did, we all know she did. She fought for you until the very end. Oscar too. Even though they are dead, we need to keep going on. Get to this mall, settle down. I promise you, once we do, I will throw a funeral for the pair of them. Would you like that". 

The words felt like daggers in her stomach. She was lying, and so effortlessly too. What would her father think of her if he could see her now? 

And the worst thing was, she was making the pair of them out to be saints. 

Tara was every bit as guilty for Glenn and Beth's deaths as Daryl was, even worse considering she also played a part in her daddy's death. 

And Oscar did try to kill her for the fucking bitch. 

But right now, the best thing Carl needed was support. 

And support she tried, but he didn't take it too well. 

Carl looked at her, blinking back tears. It should have been you", and he escaped from her clutches and stormed away behind the counter. 

Maggie took the words in her mind, and she expected to feel hurt. Anything resembling sadness. 

But nothing. 

She looked up at Bob, who smiled sympathetically. "He didn't mean it". 

Maggie knew he didn't, but she agreed with Carl. Deep down she did, no matter how much she tried to pretend survival was all that mattered. 

"So tell me about this plan", she went to the counter and grabbed the rifle. Realising there were many bullets, Maggie grinned slightly.

Not like the handgun then. She could do this. 

"They've made it out in the car parking lot that they are hiding behind a couple of cars, but it's really those freaks chained up. They are too busy distracted by that, they aren't noticing the pair of them trying to get the jump behind them. We are fairly confident they are all up in the roof. Rest of the place is overrun sad to say, but we can take it back". 

Maggie nodded, taking everything in. 

"Then if that's the case, whilst they are too busy distracted by what's going on out in the lot, I can try to get to the other direction. Take them out that way. One thing though, you said they were pricks. How can you be so sure?" She asked. 

It scared her that it didn't occur until just now that there was already talk about killing these people off without once considering they might have been good people. 

"When we first got here, there was a woman in the parking lot. She was running from a crowd of stragglers. She was screaming Maggie. Begging for help. And you want to know what they did? They shot her in the leg. The fucking leg. These bastards deserve to burn down There for what they did". 

Maggie nodded, taking the information in. She grabbed the rifle and the strap to place it at her back. 

"I'm going to the other side of wherever Rick and Sasha are at. Is it left or right?" 

"Left. There is a room that is blocked from the outside, not the inside. Chances are it could be locked, but they are checking to see if it isn't. If it isn't, then they just get in and to the roof and take them out. Maggie, you ca-". 

"I am and I will, Bob. I'm not letting them do this themselves, and besides Carl isn't pleased to be around me anyway. You will look after him". 

And with that she left the shop before Bob could protest. She knew from Sasha that he had a history of booze, but luckily the place was ransacked from the quick look of things. 

Maggie found herself crouching behind the truck, and quickly moving over behind another car. The darkness of the night was approaching soon, and she needed to hurry. Adjusting her scope, Maggie aimed up to see the group on the rooftop. 

There was five of them. Four men and a woman. Two of the men were looking at the disguise Rick and Sasha had set up. One man was looking at the other side of the mall, and the other was too busy fondling the woman. 

Fuck this, she thought. Rick and Sasha were playing it safe. 

But she could get them all here and there. 

Aiming the scope, Maggie looked to see which man would be the easiest to kill off first. Get the two men watching the disguise first. Shoot the guy fondling the woman, then a quick reload. The other man will turn around and will barely have time to react before she killed him too. 

The woman would be too shocked over her lover getting shot that she would be easy prey. 

Before she could put her plan in motion though, she heard a quick yell. Aiming the scope, she realised Rick and Sasha were in the roof. 

They were on the offensive. Rick shot the man at the back, and Sasha the woman. The two at front turned around, and... 

She pulled the trigger, and then another. One fell backwards from the roof, the other forwards to the ground. 

The boyfriend screamed in horror as he realised what was going to happen to him, and he tried to reach for his gun but Sasha shot her rifle and blew his finger right off. Rick approached with machete in hand, and swung hard and true. 

It brought back that night where she, Rick, Abraham and Michonne had basked in blood and darkness at the church. Gareth from Terminus was proud of the legs Carol had lost. 

And it was that pride that got them killed. 

Maggie noticed that the stragglers in the car lot were approaching the mall, as were a couple. They left behind a girl torn to the bone, her pretty features barely recognisable. 

Sighing, Maggie turned around and back to the booze store. Rick and Sasha would be back for them, and she didn't want to risk the chance of getting a shot in the face if she tried to meet them.


	7. Yo-Yo's And Shutters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group prepare to take a risk when it concerns the mall.

The door knock pattern interrupted her train of thought, and she looked up quickly. 

Bob grinned slightly at her and he quickly rushed to the door. Maggie yawned and it hit her just how tired she was. 

Getting beat up would do that to you, she thought bitterly. She turned around to look at Carl who was currently sleeping. 

She smiled sadly then. She loved the boy, but she knew she had done unrepairable damage to him by pulling that trigger. 

Bob quickly opened the door, and Sasha almost bolted in and hugged her boyfriend tightly. "Thank god, thank god", she was repeating under her breath, and the two shared a passionate kiss. 

Rick leaned over to get out of their way and quickly walked into the booze store to find Carl sleeping under the blankets. He smiled then, and just for a moment, it looked like the world was no longer on his shoulders. 

"Bob, was it you who killed those two at the roof?" Sasha had asked then, but then she noticed Maggie in the store. 

Maggie almost chuckled slightly at her friend's expression. It was rare that she would laugh after everything she had been through. 

But there were times. 

"Oh, thank god. You're alive. I know the odds weren't high but I knew you would beat them. I just knew it. Come here", and Sasha walked over herself and hugged her. 

It took Maggie aback slightly. She had been such a cow to everybody recently, it still struck her strange that there were people who cared for her despite that. 

"I'm glad too". 

"Where's Oscar, and Tara?" Rick asked then. And Maggie felt like her whole world could have just been pushed over the edge there and then. 

The stinky barn came back, and the gun in her hand. Finger on the trigger, and pull. A bullet fired, and a woman fell down. 

A deranged man, doing everything in his power to stop his friend's killer. Bullets firing in the forests, panting and wheezy breaths. Grabbing a rock. Ending a life. 

"They didn't make it", is what she replied. 

Rick just nodded then, and turned around to face Carl. 

"They were good people". 

Maggie found herself slowly pushing Sasha away from her and moving to sit down on one of the seats. 

"They were", Bob agreed. 

"What happened to them, if you don't mind me asking?" Sasha was always quick to jump to the facts. Maggie didn't blame her though. It was just simply in her nature, in her DNA. 

"I don't mind. We just got separated from you four. We didn't know if we were going to make it. We got surrounded in a barn, and..." 

She could feel a panic attack coming, but she took quick breaths to keep control over her emotions. "I managed to escape, through the top. There was ladders, you see. By the time I got up, I turned around and they were just, gone." 

There was a heavy silence. Rick turned around then, and picked up the only bottle in the store. 

"To Oscar and Tara", and opening the cap he took a long gulp. 

He passed it to Bob, who quickly shook his head. "No, Rick. I'm not very comfortable around a drink". 

Rick stared at him, then nodded. "Fair enough", and he passed it to Sasha. She looked over at both Bob and Maggie in concern before taking her sip, and then she passed the bottle to Maggie. 

Maggie felt the smoothness of the glass in her hands. It felt wrong somehow, drinking a toast to her father's good as killer and somebody who tried to kill her. 

So she drunk in memory of a father who was devoted his religion, a sister who liked to sing happily and a husband who meant the world to her. 

But don't tell anybody else that. 

Rick took the bottle off her and sat it on the counter, and then went down to business. 

"Me and Sasha struck lucky with that room. The stupid cunts didn't even try to barricade it from the inside. We didn't get much of a look around but we were in the main entrance to the mall. The place is overrun to the full.

It's easy to manage though, don't get me wrong. We've done it before, too many times to handle really. Remember Maggie at the prison? And Bob and Sasha, you've been on runs with us. You know what it's like. This place ain't nothing we cannot handle". 

Maggie took all this in. "Are you saying we go in there, hand to hand. Like always?" 

"Like always", Rick nodded. "Although somebody has got to stay behind to look after Carl, he's simply too young to go in this sort of thing. Bob, I know you don't like staying behind in stuff like this but you've got to do it again. At least until we've cleared out the main entrance, then we seal up the other plazas and have a rest. In case we all fall, I just want to give Carl more of a chance to escape this place alive". 

Bob sighed, but he agreed to the plan. "You know me Rick. I'll do anything you ask of me. You really have helped me out a lot".

"Maggie, you get that machete of yours a-" 

"I don't have it anymore", Maggie cut him off. "Back at the barn, there was a walker. The blade got stuck in its head and I couldn't pull it out". 

Rick sighed. "I was really counting on you still having it. Is there anything else you can use?" 

Maggie nodded. "A kitchen knife, but I don't think it's an appropriate weapon for this situation". 

"Maggie", Sasha replied. "You are the best shot in this group. You can be on top behind the railings with your rifle, and pick off any that get too close to either me or Rick. We just pick them off and let them chase us about, but sooner or later we will get every single one and put them down". 

"Can we afford the bullets?" Rick asked, and Maggie nodded. "There was enough to have killed fifty of those men on the roof if their numbers were that high". 

"Okay, it's a plan", Rick looked at the three of them. "I know it's been a hard journey, but this mall will be worth it. I can feel it". 

It was weird hearing Rick sounding so optimistic. He hadn't sounded like this in a long time. Maggie supposed she should have been worried, but right now all she could think about was that her family should have been here right now with them. 

"We start the clear out in the morning", Rick spoke suddenly. "It's dark now, and I don't want to be fighting those things in the dark. Get some sleep, we are all going to need it". 

"Do we take shifts?" Sasha asked. "Lookout duty, I mean". 

Rick shook his head. "No, not you or Maggie. You are going to be fighting with me tomorrow. Me and Bob will do so. I'm not that tired anyway and Bob won't have to spend so much energy". 

Something struck her heart, and to Maggie's horror it was jealously. 

Jealous of the fact that Rick was so confident and sure that Carl was going to make it. The pair of them had each other. 

And Bob had Sasha, and Sasha had Bob. 

She was all alone. 

"I'll be back in a second", Maggie told them and walked out to the shop. "Where are you going?" Sasha hissed. 

"To get my sports bag in the car. It's filled with clothes I got on the road", she replied, and her hand reached out for the door handle. 

"I'll come with you then. We shouldn't be going out alone", Sasha said and she kissed Bob on the lips. 

That jealousy continued to strike at her. 

"Sasha's right. Be quick about it Maggie", and just like that she was free to go as said by the boss himself. 

Opening the door, Maggie held it open for Sasha to come out first and then closed it. She looked at the mall in front of her, and she looked at it wearily. 

They had been through so many of these places. The farm. The prison. 

What made this place so different? 

"Come on", Sasha interrupted her thoughts, and she turned around to follow her. 

"Thanks for going with me", Maggie decided to cut the tension. It wasn't Sasha's fault she had no one, she reasoned to herself. 

It was her own. 

"No problem. It's what friends do for each other. What car was it you were in?" 

"That one", Maggie pointed towards it. She could see the bullet hole in the glass, and the fragments that shattered both outside and inside the car. 

"It's in the back, I'll get it", and as she approached the car handle and pulled back the door, she found the bag in place. 

Grabbing it and pulling the strap over her shoulder, she almost missed the yo-yo. 

"Walker", she heard Sasha say. Turning around, she saw Sasha approach a middle aged overweight sack of pus staggering forward, his arms out in reach. 

Sasha waited for the perfect time, and struck it with her spear. 

Turning around, Maggie looked at the yo-yo. She picked the toy up and placed it in her pocket, before leaving the car behind. 

"Come on", she told Sasha. Sasha pulled the spear out of the walker's eye and followed her back to the booze store. 

Bob opened the door for them, and Maggie and Sasha entered. Maggie immediately noticed small blankets had been laid out on the floor.

The rather dusty floor. Maggie inwardly groaned as she remembered the first proper bed she slept in last night. 

"Get some sleep, hon", Bob said softly and kissed Sasha, so she kissed back. "You too", Sasha smiled then. "You don't have the first shift. Rick does". 

Maggie placed the bag on the counter, and she looked at Rick. He was staring at Carl, who was softly snoring. 

"Rick", Maggie approached. Rick turned around, and he looked at her eyes. 

"Yes?" He asked. Maggie noticed the wrinkles under his eyes, eyes which no longer held any spark of joy or happiness. 

"Give this to Carl", she placed the yo-yo in his hand. 

"It's not Tara's, but it might do him some good", she went to walk away and catch up with some sleep. 

"Maggie". 

Maggie turned around. Rick looked like he was fumbling around with what he wanted to say. Just before Maggie was going to ask what was going on, he continued. 

"Thank you". 

And he turned back around to face Carl. 

Blinking back tears she didn't even know she was shedding, Maggie crept down onto the floor and pulled the blanket over her. 

It was going to be a long night, with an even longer day ahead of her. 

Trying to ease her back on the cold hard floor, she tried to ignore the whispers between Bob and Sasha and over time, she did. 

The weight on her eyelids gave in, and she fell asleep. 

She found herself sobbing her heart out. Her entire world had shattered all over again. Beth had been alive, she had been. 

Now she was dead. 

She tried to pull herself up, ignoring Glenn's hands tugging at her back and almost staggered forward like the many walkers she had slain over the years. 

"No", is all she repeated. No, no, no, no, no. 

It couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. 

And then she heard a growl, and turned around to face a walker. But it wasn't a walker. It was Glenn, and he stormed in despite Rick and the rest in front of the hospital trying to stop him. 

She didn't know what happened next. She was too busy staring at Beth's body. The bullet hole had made a bloody mess of her beautiful features. 

Daryl laid her down, and she just stared. 

And then more screams, and shouts. Bullets firing. 

She was not prepared when Rick and Tyreese carried Glenn's body out together. 

He had been stabbed, by one of the doctors. 

She had lost her only family in a matter of minutes. 

Shaking with panic, Maggie quickly awoke. It was dark. She could hear a couple of moans coming from the outside. 

Nothing new there. 

She looked up to see Rick sitting on the counter, counting the bullets they had. He had stared at her when she awoke, but then he was back to doing the bullet count. 

Maggie turned around so she wouldn't have to face him. She could hear the snores coming from Bob, Sasha and Carl. 

Once again, she was jealous that they all had someone and she didn't have anyone. 

It was a far cry from when she first started off. 

\--- 

"Hey, wake up", she awoke to the sound of Sasha, who was standing above her. 

"Is it time?" She found herself yawning after asking the question. 

Sasha nodded. "It's time". 

Maggie got up and turned around. Bob was standing at the counter, pulling the clothes out and placing them in the counter. He then added all the guns they've got bar one and placed them inside. 

Rick was hugging Carl, who seemed to be on the verge of crying. Maggie noticed he had the yo-yo in his pocket. 

After Carl walked back to his "bed" and turned around to face the wall, Rick approached Bob, and Maggie couldn't help but try and listen in. 

"If we aren't back in a day's time, get him out of here. Focus on getting to Washington. Who knows, maybe Eugene was right after all". 

Bob nodded. "I will Rick. You can trust me". 

Maggie quickly turned around and wrapped up her blanket. She placed it on top of a shelf, and then noticed Sasha standing at the door. She was staring into space. 

"Sasha, what is it?" She asked softly, concerned for her friend. 

It was the least she could do. 

Sasha blinked, then laughed a little. "Sorry, I just wasn't here for a second. I was just thinking about, you know, Tyreese". 

The name hung heavy between the two. Daryl wasn't the only one she blamed for Beth and Glenn's death. 

Instead of bringing up unpleasant tension, Maggie simply said, "I understand" and then she went over to Bob who was holding the sports bag. 

"I'll take that", she grabbed the strap and placed the bag over her shoulder. 

"Right, listen up Maggie and Sasha", Rick was at the centre of the room, and the two women turned over to face him. 

"We go the same way me and Sasha went yesterday. Any walkers in your way, kill them on the spot. Maggie, I know you don't have something suitable so just keep close to me and Sasha. Don't break rank". 

Maggie nodded, bracing herself for what was to come next. 

"Might as well do it now, get it over with. Once we reach the mall, we will figure out the next step". 

Maggie walked over to the door and gave way for Sasha to approach Bob and kiss him. Bob kissed back, and they shared a moment. Rick walked over to Carl, patted him on the shoulder, whispered he loved him and then turned back. 

"Ready?" He asked the pair of them. 

"Ready", they said in unison. 

Rick opened the door, and almost immediately a walker near enough pounced into the room. 

Rick quickly jumped back, and Maggie pushed the walker to the ground. Sasha stood over it and using her spear struck hard and true. 

"Clear up Bob", Sasha smirked and she stepped over the body to leave the shop. Rick and Maggie followed her, and Maggie could hear Bob cursing under his breath. 

The parking lot had increased in its amount of walkers. They could run through to the door on the left, but there would be a couple of obstacles their way. 

"Come on", Rick spoke and next thing she knew, the three of them were jogging across the lot. 

Her leg ached, her pain still not going away. 

Maggie kept close to the pair of them, realising she didn't have any other options to do so unless she wanted to be defenceless. 

A walker reached out their way, and it was closest to her. Instinctively, Maggie kicked it back like she did with the one earlier on, and whilst it didn't fall to the ground if did falter a bit. 

There was a couple straight ahead. One snarled and raised its arms, and Rick quickly pushed it down with his hands. Almost immediately his machete with the red handle was out and slashed away. 

A room covered in blood of the living. Screams and shouts, begs for mercy. Her own hands covered in blood. 

"It's just four walls and a roof", she had said a long time ago. 

The other walker went out to reach Rick, but it was no match for Sasha who dug the spear straight through its chest. As Sasha kicked it to the ground, she quickly pulled out and pushed the weapon back in on its forehead. 

Maggie turned around then, and saw a few more walkers attracted to their attention. 

"We need to hurry", she told them. Rick and Sasha saw it true, and they quickly picked up speed. 

It felt like a thousand and one eyes were watching the three of them. It gave her an unsettling vibe, but what mattered now was getting to the mall in one piece. 

And they made it to the mall. A stack of trolleys was in front of the door, and no walker was close. 

"Quick, help me", Rick was saying, and Maggie and Sasha did. They pulled the upturned and overturned ones away as fast as they could. 

"It's exactly where we left it last night", Sasha was muttering under her breath. "That's good". 

Soon, they found the door. Sasha opened it and they quickly ran in. Sasha first, then Maggie and finally Rick. He closed the door shut, and Sasha quickly ran over to the cabinet next to the door. 

"Help me", and Maggie did. Pushing their weight against the metal, they set out for it to fall in front of the door.

It did. 

Sighing with relief, Maggie tuned around to properly examine her surroundings. 

They were in a storage room. Overturned boxes, buckets and mops, discarded clothing. 

All sorts of mix and match items. 

"There's canned food up on the roof", Sasha spoke suddenly. "Me and Rick didn't return them last night because we were kinda spooked by your gunshots. And it would be pretty pointless to carry them from here to there, then back again". 

"I understand", Maggie approached and looked at the stairwell. 

"It leads to the top floor", Rick explained. "Down below is the main entrance. You just take a turn to the left and you will find the security room. An air duct is in place which gets you to the roof". 

Maggie took it all in.

"So what are we going to do?" She asked. 

"First things first", Rick walked over and held his hand out for the bag. Maggie gave it to him, and he placed it on the floor.

"You'll be on the top floor with your rifle after we clear it out. Me and Sasha will go down below and just start picking them off with these", he gestured towards his machete and Sasha's spear, "and you shoot any which are near us. We try to pull down the shutters which lead to the other sections". 

"So we just have the main entrance and the security room in our hold", Maggie quickly understood. "Let's do it". 

And just like that, they were off running upstairs.

"Maggie, one more thing", Rick allowed Sasha to go up and stopped Maggie in her tracks to tell her something. 

"Yes?" Maggie asked. 

"Daryl, his death wasn't your fault. Neither was Oscar or Tara. I need you to know that". 

Maggie looked at him then and there. It felt strange to her, that Rick was saying these things. 

Didn't he blame her for Daryl's suicide, for the way she treated him? 

Not that it wasn't deserved, of course.

"I know I've treated you like shit ever since, but I do know you are grieving. I understand how that feels", and just like that he was off. 

"Come on", and so she followed, unsure of how to digest this new information. 

They neared a door, and Sasha placed herself against it to listen. 

"Sounds like a walker is right outside", she whispered. 

"I'll get it on the count of three. Ready? One, two, three", and just after Rick had finished speaking, Sasha opened the door and Rick pounced out.

With the machete in hand, he struck the walker at the back of the head. He pulled he weapon out and slashed at another walker nearby. 

Sasha moved in with her spear and Maggie followed her. She held onto her kitchen knife, a knife that would be more useful out in the open than anywhere else. 

There were five walkers on the top floor, she noticed. The floor itself was divided thanks to the shutters, but down below the main part of the shutters was open for all the walkers to pour in from the other sections of the mall. 

Quickly looking down below, Maggie realised there was a good forty or fifty of them all spread out. 

This was going to be a tough one. 

Quickly walking forwards, Maggie held onto the knife tight enough to draw blood. She approached her nearest walker and she kicked it. Without pausing for breath, she knelt down and stabbed it through the eye. 

Pulling the knife out, she saw a walker approaching her. Once again she didn't pause and she leapt towards its legs. The walker snarled but she quickly tackled it to the floor. She grabbed onto the creature at the back of its shoulders and she pushed it over the railings. 

It fell down with a sickening thud. The walkers down below turned around to look at it. 

Maggie turned around to see Sasha taking care of the last walker, the other one already done in by Rick. 

"The hard part isn't over", Rick whispered to them. "Those shutters need to be shut down, but we need to do this fast". 

Maggie placed her knife down on the ground and grabbed onto the rifle hanging from her back. 

"I'll get into a good position. I'll cover you", and she did just that. 

Adjusting the scope, Maggie made sure her aim was ahead of Rick and Sasha so she could deal with any threats. 

Slicing and dicing their way forwards, Rick and Sasha pushed towards the shutters. Rick's machete found itself stuck in the head of a walker like hers before, and so without any hesitation she pulled the trigger at the walker behind Rick. 

Sasha turned around in surprise, and this left her vulnerable to one walker. 

The trigger pulled, and the rifle fired. 

One more down. 

Rick quickly pushed on without the machete, pushing and shoving the walkers away. Unfortunately Sasha was trailing behind, and was using the spear to push back the walkers. 

Things were going to shit pretty quickly. Maggie noticed the walkers on the other side of the shutters were approaching, and the walkers at the doors were drawing in. 

Rick and Sasha were trapped. 

Feeling sweat beginning to trickle down, Maggie quickly fired one, two and a third bullet at the walkers that were dangerously close to Sasha. She missed twice but killed one. 

Sasha used this as an opportunity to scramble downwards and into the horde, but quickly pushing forward using her hands was helping her escape. 

Maggie heard a yell, and turned around to look at Rick. He was in a scramble with another walker, one hand pushing the walker back whilst the other reaching to pull the shutter down. 

Maggie adjusted the scope and with a deep breath, fired. 

She hit her target, and the target fell down. Rick almost did as well, but unfortunately another walker had pushed upon him. 

Rick found himself in the other side of the shutter, and the walker was on top of him. 

"Shit", Maggie cursed. She realised she needed to reload, and as she did she realised she was doing it all wrong. 

Everything was indeed going to shit. 

However, just as she finally got it right, she realised Rick had pushed the walker away and he quickly scrambled up. He reached for the shutters, but in horror realised there was simply too many walkers in front of him. 

And with no choice, he shut himself off from the main entrance. 

Maggie gasped as she realised what had happened, but she quickly turned around to face Sasha. Sasha herself escaped from the crowd, and was heading back towards the stairs. 

However, one walker from the water fountain suddenly jumped up and snarled. The suddenness of it caused Sasha to yelp and fall down, and Maggie to fire another bullet. 

The spear fell from Sasha's grasp. In a hurry, she tried to grab it again, only for a different walker entirely to crawl from the shadows. 

And sunk its teeth into her arm.


	8. Knives And Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie tries to save Sasha and finds her past catching up to her.

The world was spinning, and all she could hear was Sasha's blood curling scream. 

Maggie looked on in horror as the lurker continued to bite its teeth to the bone. Sasha kept on screaming both in horror and in disbelief. The sound and very sight of her was drawing more walkers. 

Wasting no time, Maggie quickly grabbed onto the kitchen knife and found herself running down the stairs and into the floors of the main entrance. 

The floor was sticky with blood and Maggie nearly slipped. She did not know how Rick and Sasha managed to move the way they did clearing this place out. 

But they didn't do a good enough job. 

Aiming precisely at the head, Maggie struck hard and true at the walker. Its life extinguished as the knife hit the target, before placing the knife back in her holster. 

Sasha continued on in screaming, her brown eyes wide and filled with horror. 

"Maggie, what's happening. Maggie! Maggie!" Sasha's screams continued and the walkers' moans began to intensify. 

Maggie ignored her screams and pulled her up with all her energy. Sasha knelt her head onto Maggie's chest and just for a second, Maggie comforted her almost like a baby. 

Something she thought would have happened one day. 

But it didn't. 

"Come on", Maggie whispered and using her energy to support both herself and Sasha despite the ache in her leg, Maggie found herself almost crawling up the stairs. 

The walkers were staggering forward with their arms reaching out, eyes filled with hunger and contempt. 

Sasha's pants continued to intensify and Maggie's concern grew quicker by the second. The woman by her shoulder was beginning to fall into an unconscious state, the pain being too much. 

The two women neared the storage room, and Maggie kicked open the door. She quickly ushered Sasha in and knelt her down softly but gently by the wall, before closing the door herself. 

She prayed to God that walkers didn't push the door open, as looking nearby there wasn't anything to block the door. 

"Come on", and once again she raised Sasha's arm over her shoulder. The two almost crawled down the stairs, with Maggie doing more of the crawling than anything. 

"Tyreese, I'm sorry", Sasha muttered under her breath. Maggie gritted her teeth as they got down to the floor, and she rolled Sasha over to her side. 

"Right", Maggie whispered to herself, almost reassuring herself. 

She could do this. She did it with her daddy before. 

If she could help him get his leg chopped off, she could do it with anyone. 

"Right", she repeated. Grabbing onto her kitchen knife, Maggie positioned the weapon on to Sasha's arm. 

"Tyreese, I'm..." Sasha's eyelids closed. Maggie blinked back tears, and she looked at the room she was in. 

It was dark, and covered in grime. Whilst it wasn't small, it wasn't big either. There was space, but she felt crowded. Squashed almost. 

It reminded her of the boiler room back at the prison. Rusty knife, no space, a telephone at the counter. A young boy crying and a mother pouring her soul out. 

Shaking away the dark memories, Maggie positioned the knife above Sasha's bite wound. 

And she swung hard and true. 

Sasha's eyes opened immediately, and she let out a scream. The knife didn't cut deep enough though, and Maggie had to pull it out. 

It took effort and time, but she managed it. 

Then she struck again. 

And on and on this went in what felt like forever. Maggie continued to do it, not even registering what was happening. 

Sasha blanked out before the arm was completely chopped off.

Realising what she had done, Maggie turned around and puked. It was far from over. Blood was splattered all over her sleeve, and it was oozing onto the ground. 

But she needed to patch Sasha up. 

And that was when she realised with a dread that cut deeper than the knife that she didn't have anything to help Sasha. 

Maggie just stared at the woman before her. 

She had made her suffering much worse than it had been before. 

She was responsible if Sasha died. 

Crawling back, Maggie lifted her hands from the ground and looked at them. 

They were covered in blood. From the knife earlier on and the knife now. From the endless amount of people she had killed over the years. From Daryl to Tara to Oscar and now to Sasha. 

Gasping and realising she needed to breathe, Maggie staggered back to feel the wall behind her. Her hands clenched tightly on a metal pipe and she turned herself around, trying to breathe. 

It was all coming back to her now. Everything was. 

Sasha started to cough, and Maggie turned around and her eyes widened. She was losing a lot of blood. 

And all she could do was watch. 

It seemed strange to her, that she froze. She didn't freeze when her daddy was bitten. She'd never froze before in her life. 

But yet here she was, doing not a thing as her friend bled out in front of her. 

Maggie found herself sitting down weakly. She didn't even know how she managed to do it. It just happened. Sasha opened her eyes then, and even though she was looking at her, she wasn't looking at her specifically. 

"Tyreese?" Sasha asked. "Ty..I-I is that you?" 

Maggie continued to stare, neither confirming nor denying Sasha's questions. 

"I'm sorry, for let-ttt.. I'm so-", and Sasha rolled her head to the side and stopped breathing. 

Maggie stared. She raised her hands in front of her face and saw blood. 

She did this. 

She shakily got up and walked over to the body of her friend. Sasha had gone into shock and died pretty quickly, she realised. 

Maggie picked up the kitchen knife from the floor and knelt down besides Sasha. Stroking her hair softly, Maggie bent down and kissed her on the forehead. 

And then with a hard enough thrust, the knife ended Sasha for good. 

Just at that second, she could hear the moans from the main entrance getting more visible, and the door was pushed open from upstairs. 

A couple of walkers had pushed it open, and they found themselves falling down the stairs for their troubles. 

Wasting no time, Maggie quickly got up and grabbed one by the hair. Using enough force she grabbed the knife and began digging the weapon into its skull. 

The knife itself got caught though, and realising she had no option she grabbed onto the other's hair and pulled it up. As it tried to wave its arms on to her, Maggie held onto the creature tightly. 

And then she began to push its head towards the metal pipe. BANG. BANG. BANG. She continued pushing it back and fourth, and eventually its miserable life had ended. 

Maggie then jogged up the stairs, ignoring the pain in her leg. Maggie had a feeling it would never quite truly go away, but she barely noticed it as she had more pressing concerns. 

Three walkers were near the door by the time she reached it. Maggie quickly slammed it shut and pushed her back against it. 

The walkers slammed their weight against the door and began pounding it with their fists. Maggie clenched her teeth and shut her eyes, praying to God that she got out of this alive. 

It was at that moment she realised that Bob would be waiting for Sasha back at the booze store. 

The tears began to flow then. 

But she had to remain strong, she told herself repeatedly. If she didn't, they would all fall down like a house of cards. 

Realising the only weapon that would be of any use to her was the spear that Sasha had left behind, Maggie cursed under her breath. 

At this point she didn't care if she lived or died, but she would provide a home for Bob and Carl. 

Rick too, if he was still alive. 

She let go of the door and walked forwards before turning around. Briefly she could remember an abandoned bus on the middle of the road with no trace of life. 

The door pushed open, and a walker reached forward. He was groaning and desperate for something meaty to bite its teeth into. 

She wasn't letting him have that option. 

Aiming precisely she stabbed it through the eye, and with concentrated effort pulled the knife out. The walker fell almost comically. 

Sprinting forward but making sure she wasn't going too fast to sprain her ankle, Maggie quickly looked back and fourth. 

A couple of walkers had made it onto the top landing in pursuit of her, but luckily no more than that. 

Maggie waited until the one closest to her was near her before pushing it to the ground. She stamped her boot on its head as far as she could, and it exploded like a melon. 

These things must have been here since at least the beginning of the outbreak, she realised. And looking closely at the "alive" one, she knew she was right based on how decomposed it looked. 

Ragged and torn clothes, barely recognisable features. 

If they had much luck, there could be supplies here that went untouched by the mall's former owners. 

But the closed shutters and two friends either dead or whose fate was unknown showed her all she needed to know about their luck. 

The walker was close to her, and she pushed it down to the ground. Reaching for her knife, she aimed perfectly and struck true. 

She quickly moved after that and reached the top of the staircase. One walker was making its way to the top, but the dozens upon dozens seemed to have spread out more around the entrance. 

The spear was exactly where they had left it. 

Going down the steps, Maggie once again pushed the walker down. It made for a comical sight, but Maggie had never once disrespected the dead. 

She put it out of its misery with a well aimed strike, and then she found herself on the ground floor. 

Picking up the spear, Maggie glanced at it briefly with a look of sadness. 

It had been in Sasha's possession since the prison fell. She and Bob had always joked about it, laughed about it. 

"You and that spear like the bottom of an old lady's purse", Bob had said one day. Maggie remembered the sudden glance Rick had shown to the pair of them, as if he remembered something. But then he turned around and continued leading. 

She hoped he was leading the walkers away and got back soon. 

Gripping tightly onto the spear, Maggie turned around to face her enemies. 

There was no more than thirty now, she quickly counted. It would be a tough fight. 

But it would be a fight she would go down fighting if she must. 

And so when a walker was near her, she quickly aimed the spear and stabbed it through the chest. The motion pushed the walker down, and she pulled it back only to stab it in the head. 

Two walkers were near her now, both in the same proximity. 

Maggie quickly backed away, allowing them to come near her. She moved backwards with a couple of quick glances to make sure no walker was behind her, and she moved around a pillar that supported the upper area. 

Doing so, she tricked the pair of them and now she was behind them. Giving all she got, she pushed one onto the other and with both of them down on the ground, she quickly put them out of their misery. 

She noticed a crowd of walkers were beginning to approach. They had seen her actions, and they were hungry for flesh. 

Maggie kept it cool, even though inside she was pretty shit terrified. 

But as they neared her, something inside her snapped. 

Hershel's proud smile before a swing of the sword. Daryl carrying Beth's body for all to see. Glenn's body. 

Pulling the trigger on Tara. Dropping a rock on Oscar. The knife on Sasha. 

And she didn't know where she was or what she was doing, but she found herself charging forward with the spear in front of her. 

And she slashed and she swiped and she struck. She started screaming like a mad woman there and then with not a care in the world. 

It was taking a lot out of her, but all she could see was red. 

Red. Red. Red. 

Blood. Fire. Blood. Signs. Blood. 

All she could see was red. Red everything. 

And red consumed her. 

Panting and sighing, Maggie realised she was about to collapse to the ground and collapsed she did. On the top of rank bodies, Maggie found herself no better than the dead. 

At this point she might as well have been among them, chomping and chewing upon any flesh. 

Like Gareth had done with Carol. 

Only a couple of walkers remained, and they were staggering forward with their hands reached out. 

Maggie found herself dragging her own weight away with her hands. The spear was lost among the dead, she did not care to see where it was. 

Pushing herself up was a hard progress, but she did it. Shaking and sighing she found herself in facing the dead in front of her. 

Grabbing onto the knife she had placed on her holster and panting all the while, Maggie staggered back a little herself as she tried to prepare for what came next. 

The walker was there, and next thing she knew it was not. 

One gunshot, two gunshots.

Rick was suddenly in front of her, gun in hand. His own shirt was covered in blood and guts, and the shutters behind him were shut. 

He was on her side. 

"Maggie, what happened?" He approached forward, and she could tell that he was shook up by his own experience. 

"Where's Sasha?" 

And just like that, the name of the word caused Maggie to black out and be dead to the world. 

\--- 

She awoke to the sound of glass shattering. 

Alert and fast, Maggie quickly sat up. Her hand instinctively reached for her knife, or the spear. 

But it was not there. 

Properly looking around, she realised she was in some sort of office and she had been lying on a mattress. A variety of knick knacks were scattered around the room and monitors looking outside the mall through CTV. 

She was surprised it still worked. Getting up from her bed, she looked closely and saw the sight of a few walkers approaching the mall. 

It made her feel uneasy, but why she could not say. 

Remembering the noise, Maggie looked at the table holding the monitors. There was nothing there she could use. 

Except, a pair of scissors. Whilst it was less than ideal, Maggie had long since learned that anything could be used as a weapon if the need called for it. 

And right now it did. 

Clutching onto the scissors, she slowly approached to outside the office where the noise came from. Looking through the door window which was mostly covered by blinds, she could see two people arguing. 

Rick and Bob. Bob and Rick. 

Gasping, Maggie covered her mouth in horror. The events of the past day caught up to her. 

Sasha screaming as she got bitten. The knife used to cut her friend's hand off. 

All of it. 

The glass shattering could have been anything, so with a deep breath she opened the door and stepped out. 

"You!" Bob's voice was angry and full of contempt. "You did it, you killed Sasha!" 

Maggie took a step back, wanting to deny it. She didn't kill Sasha, not her friend. The only friends she had killed of theirs was Tara and Oscar. 

And Daryl, a thought sprung up in her mind. 

But she brushed it away. 

"Please, Bob. I tried to do anything, I-", but before she or Rick could react, Bob pounced on her and had her to the ground. 

And he started punching her. 

"You killed her! She was your friend and you killed her. You might as well have stabbed her in the back". 

Instinct kicked in, and Maggie kneed him in the bollocks and grabbed onto his hair. Using all her force, she made sure to give him a debating blow with her head onto his. 

The world spun with stars after this, but her hands reached onto the floor and she crawled away. She could vaguely see Rick grabbing onto Bob by his shirt and dragging him to another room in the office. 

It was a small cupboard. Rick pushed him inside, and shut the door. He quickly grabbed a set of keys from the table and locked the door. 

Maggie found herself sitting down on the mattress, reflecting on what had just happened. 

"He's right", Maggie whispered, more to herself than anyone. 

"I shouldn't have tried. I should have went back and got Bob, he's a medic. I should-" she was cut off by relentless banging on the door. Bob was trying to get out. 

Rick looked up and gritted his teeth. 

"Listen to me Maggie. It wasn't your fault. You know as well as anyone that's bullshit. We've been though a lot these past couple of days, we are bound to make mistakes. Fuck, I've been doing them for two to three years now. Bob will understand eventually, he will. He's just lashing out". 

Maggie took in his words, drank them in even. She wanted to believe him. She really did. 

But no, she did not believe him. 

"I appreciate it Rick, but don't mollycoddle me. I could have saved Sasha. Bobs right", and with that she got up from the mattress and left not through the front of the office, but the back. 

She found herself going up a stairwell, and opened the door to face the roof. She noticed that the bodies she, Rick and...Sasha had taken care of were no longer there.

It wouldn't surprise her in the slightest if they had just flung the bodies over the roof. 

It was no more than they deserved. 

Night was coming she noticed. A sudden wind struck her cold, and she shivered. Huddling into her arms, Maggie just looked down below at the corpses approaching the mall. 

There was more than there had been since she traveled from the bozos store to the mall. All of their voices merged into one, and sounded like a big angry hive of bees. 

She could see the booze store and felt a tear trickle down her cheek. 

Were they forever destined to just keep losing people, time and time again? 

Maggie turned around and was startled to see Carl near the door. She hadn't seen him, and from the look of things he hadn't seen her. 

He was too busy concentrating on the ground before him. 

"Carl, what's going on", she sat down beside him and tried to get him to look up to face her. 

It didn't work. 

"Nothing", he continued staring at the ground. 

"It's not nothing it's always something", Maggie quickly replied. "Look Carl. I know I'm not... Tara, or your mom or even Michonne, but if you need anything just come to me, right?" 

She pressed herself up from the ground and was about to go back down to the security room when Carl spoke up. 

"It's just, I'm tired of losing people, you know?" 

Maggie tuned around to face him. She smiled sadly. "I know Carl. I'm tired of losing people too". 

And just tired in general. 

Walking down the stairs, she entered the security room to hear Bob continue his rantings against her. Rick wasn't there. 

Maggie went through the front door of the office and came face to face with an air duct and another door. Maggie gave the duct a weary look before opening the door and found herself in the main entrance. 

The shutters were still closed, both upstairs and downstairs. All the bodies she had killed in the upper floor had been thrown down to the bottom. 

Rick was piling them all up, she noticed. It was obviously taking him some time, and she decided to help him. Rick looked at her and nodded, and the pair continued on in silence. 

That silence was disrupted by a hiss. Maggie turned around to see a walker behind the shutters approaching, its mouth opening and closing. 

The front doors themselves were barricaded by wood and nails, with plenty of benches and tables in front of it as well. The small herd that was forming outside could barely see them. 

Which was a relief. 

"What are we going to do with these?" She asked Rick as they carried one body and flung it on top of the rest. 

"There's another room over there", Rick pointed to the right. "That leads to the ally. We'll just flung them out one at a time. But we will do that tomorrow. We need the rest". 

"Are we going to clear out the rest of this mall?" Maggie asked. "I'm only saying because we've already lost, one... We are growing smaller everyday and I don't think I can go through it again". 

Rick looked at her then. "Are you trying to say this was a bad idea?" 

Yes. 

But she didn't say it. 

"No", she lied. If she had confirmed his fears, it would shatter his confidence as a leader. 

It was the last thing she wanted right now. Somebody needed to keep them going. 

"It's just I don't feel we can do it. Clearing them out. We tried and we almost died. Sasha did die. Bob isn't in much of a state to look after himself never mind Carl, so one of us would be doing the clearing up by themselves. And you and me both know that's dangerous". 

Rick sighed and dropped the last corpse on top of the pile. 

"I hear you. There's plenty of stuff to keep us going for at least a week. We'll leave in five days. Right now though, we've only got this area and the security room under our belt". 

"That's enough", Maggie told him sincerely. "It will do us good instead of trailing through endless forests without a purpose. We can plan ahead and catch out breath". 

"Thanks Maggie", and once again he smiled at her. She tried to smile back, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. 

"Where's Sasha?" She asked then. Rick frowned. 

"She's still... I covered her up with a blanket, but I don't know where to put her. I think Bob deserves a final farewell, but you know what he's like". 

Maggie nodded. "I'm going to check up on her. Say my final respects". 

"Go ahead, I won't stop you". 

Maggie walked up the stairwell and then back down another stairwell that lead back to the room where it happened. 

Rick had covered her up with a blanket. The tears and the memories came flooding back there and then, but she didn't care. 

She sat down besides the body, and she could see a bit of Sasha's beautiful hair peeking through the top of the blanket. Sighing softly, Maggie stroked it gently. 

"You were a true friend Sasha. I never got to say thank you". 

She didn't care she was speaking to the dead. She never got a chance with her daddy. Not even with Glenn or Beth, she had simply been too devastated. 

But right now, things were calm. Calm and quiet.

"I suppose I need to tell someone this. I think you would have understand, but then again maybe not. You were pissed at Tyreese for a while after what he did". 

Blinking back tears, Maggie found herself laying besides the body of her dearest friend. 

"I killed... I killed Tara. And Oscar, I killed them both. Oscar tried to kill me, but I Tara... I shouldn't have done it. You see, she wasn't the person we all thought she was". 

And it was like a dam had broken, and she continued talking without any end in sight. 

"The Governor had picked her up in his travels, you see? She was with him at the prison, just stood there and watched as Daddy and Michonne died. I couldn't stop them, none of us could. All except from her. 

And I suppose I just snapped. Daryl, I think I pushed him to his death Sasha. And that doesn't make up for what I did, but I just think this was the final straw. I've let so many people down. You, Daryl. Daddy, Beth. And Oscar and Tara. I let everybody down. 

I wonder how long it'll last before the rest die around me. It just seems like God is punishing me for not believing". 

She heard a click of the gun. 

"Start explaining now", Rick said with a hint of danger in his voice.


	9. Revelations And Trucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie tells the truth to Rick and trouble approaches the mall.

"Explain", Rick commanded again, and Maggie sighed as she looked at the body of Sasha. 

It might have sounded strange to some, but she envied the dead at times. 

This was one of those time. 

"You heard me Rick. I killed Tara because of her helping that beast, and I killed Oscar because he was trying to kill me", turning around to look at the colt python in her face, she dared not flinch. 

Rick cocked the gun back, and he sat down on the stairs still facing her. 

"You shouldn't have done it", he told her roughly. 

Maggie blinked back in surprise. Now that she was not expecting. Rick to be so understanding about it. 

"Aren't you bothered that I killed her?" Maggie asked in disbelief. 

"Bothered? Of course I'm fucking bothered. She was the only person who could get through to Carl, and I was in charge of her safety. 

But I do understand it. I really do". 

He looked down at the ground then, and he continued to stare. There was silence in the air, a tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

"Why?" Maggie asked again. Flickers of a man called Shane appeared, always angry and so vocal in his dislike of Rick's leadership. 

She knew the answer because he said it. 

"Shane. He came at me with the knife, I had no choice. At least, that's what I tell myself at night. Maggie, I'm not sure if I didn't have a choice. That's the scary part. Before that night, I kept thinking about it. 

Wouldn't it be easy if I just killed him? Got rid of him? I always scolded myself for that. This was my friend, I would tell myself. 

But he just kept pushing my buttons. Lori was worried about him, she really was. It was that worry that started the thoughts in the first place". 

Sighing, he looked down. 

"This is going to be hard to admit, but that's not even what I regret. It only started a pattern, something much worse than that. 

After the Governor attacked the final time, and we found each other at Terminus. Remember?" 

Maggie nodded. She could still feel the taste of blood and ash in her mouth, the sticky hot heat bothering her skin. 

Getting trailed up to be slaughtered like cattle for a group of hungry consumers. 

"I don't know, but something what Carol told me afterwards. How a woman told her you are either the butcher or the cattle. Everything before that day caught up to me and I think I just snapped". 

"Snapped?" Maggie was confused now. "Rick, you did become a lot more...brutal after Terminus". 

The sounds of screams as a massacre occurred in the church was fresh in her memory still. Painting the walls and floors with blood of their victims. 

"It's just four walls and a roof". 

Shaking away dark thoughts and dark words, she continued. 

"But it was understandable. You've been through a lot, we all have. We're only human and I just don't see how you can regret it". 

"But that's the thing, you don't understand at all. That's not even it. I've come to view the people in our group by their strengths and their weakness. I never used to before, but now... 

All I see is who is fit enough to protect my son. Who will be able to stand by me. I, I rank people Maggie. From how capable they are to how incompetent they are. That never used to be me, but it is now. 

When Gabriel arrived, I wanted him dead. It was clear as day that he wouldn't contribute anything to our group, not really. And it scared me how easy it was". 

There was a heavy silence. Maggie blinked back in surprise at his confession. 

"Maggie, it's just who I am now. I think you are a great shot and you've done more than enough to help me and the group. I will always be grateful for that. 

But I just need to know one thing", and the next thing Maggie knew, the tension was in the air again. 

"Will you be able to control yourself?", Rick's eyes never left hers and she had to look away. 

Intense wasn't the word. 

And he made it sound like such a vile thing as well. As if she had murdered somebody for the sake of it. 

She knew why she killed Tara. The bullet firing into the skull of a woman who helped kill her father and one of her friends. Destroy the only sanctuary they had and placed them in the situation they were in now. 

Maggie looked at her hands, and blinked. 

She didn't regret killing Tara. She did what she had to. 

It was to avenge her family. 

Looking up at Rick, she replied. 

"I can. With Tara, everything just exploded. All of it. The prison, Terminus, that hospital..." 

Gunfire and ash. Bullets flying, people falling. A scream and a cry, as a woman went down with the baby in hand. A swing of the sword and a head rolling. Two heads. People digging into fresh meat. Tainted meat... The suddenness of a gunshot and the stabbing of a knife. 

"I just reacted to it", she got up then. 

"Will you say anything to the group?" is what she asked then. She knew the answer before Rick said anything, but she needed to make sure. 

She could survive out on the road by herself. 

Rick paused, and then he shook his head. 

"I would feel like a hypocrite if I did Maggie. I banished Carol and she saved us from Terminus. That ended up killing her. I don't want anybody else to die now. We've lost so many people already". 

Maggie nodded, understanding. She walked up the steps then, leaving Rick to his thoughts and a dead Sasha at his feet. 

Entering the entrance mall, Maggie felt a chill in the air and she also heard moaning coming from behind the shutters. 

Turning around, she could see a walker approaching. She approached as slowly as it did and the two were right in front of each with only a shutter blocking their way. 

The walker tried to reach out for her, and its eyes were full of contempt and hunger. Traces of life were gone. 

Closing her eyes, Maggie reached out for her knife only to realise it wasn't there. Sighing, Maggie walked away and looked over the railings to examine the stores. 

There was a variety of clothing shops as well as Toys R Us and Argos. The last two were useless, but Maggie took a sniff of her clothes and decided that they did indeed needed new clothes. 

As she walked down the stairs to the shops, she suddenly realised that they had five days of total peace here. 

And despite all that happened, a smile broke out and her eyes brightened up. 

She could forget even if for a couple of minutes as she found herself going through the selections. She picked a rather nice white cardigan and blue jeans, and sneaker shoes. She found a yellow shirt and that was her set. 

After changing, Maggie found herself looking in a blood splattered mirror. Using a handkerchief, she wiped most of the blood out and looked at herself. 

It looked like something Beth would wear, Maggie thought sadly. 

And just like that, the outside world had returned again. 

Signing, Maggie found herself looking for clothes to gather for Rick, Carl and Bob. She grabbed a hand basket and pretty much piled everything in, and then decided to go back to the Security Room now that it was dark. 

As she opened the door and faced the air duct, she placed the basket beside it and opened the office. Carl was sleeping on the mattress, and from the looks of the key still in the keyhole, Bob was still locked in the closest. 

Maggie approached softly so not to wake Carl, and found herself sitting in front of the door. It reminded her of the time when Beth had to look after the children and the elderly, and couldn't come into contact with anybody from outside. 

God how much had changed since then. 

"Bob", Maggie whispered then. 

She needed to clear things up. Feel like she could live through a calm week without feeling guilty. 

"Bob, I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened with Sasha. I panicked, I know. I really shouldn't have done it. I blame myself for what happened to her, I good as killed her. 

But I need you to know this. I never did it intentionally. I loved the bones out of that woman. She was my rock, and... She did a lot for me, that's all. And I know she meant the world to you". 

There was silence, and Maggie was beginning to suspect he wasn't even listening in the first place. It stung, she couldn't deny it. 

But she didn't blame him either. 

About to go over to the mattress and sleep next to Carl herself, she picked herself up and the caught the glimmer of steel at the corner of her eye. 

Her knife was sitting on the table. 

Maggie picked the weapon up and placed it in her holster. Ever since she lost her gun and her machete, she had pretty much replaced those with her rifle and her knife. 

The rifle was slow, and the knife was only useful for small encounters. She suspected it was God's way of punishing her for allowing people to die. 

Of killing them herself. 

It also occurred to her that she was thinking about God a lot recently. She hadn't prayed to him since the prison. She didn't even believe in him for a while. 

Now she was doing it all the time. Maybe she wanted salvation? 

And suddenly, she heard words that pretty much caused her to lose train of thought. 

"Don't be sorry Maggie. I shouldn't have attacked you the way I did". 

Maggie looked at the table and smiled sadly. "Don't worry about it Bob. You just needed time. I completely understand". 

And she did. She had gone absolutely mental on everything around her that wasn't Bob or Sasha in the initial days after the prison. And after Glenn and Beth, she had slapped Daryl on more occasions than she liked to remember. 

Shaking her head, Maggie sat back down in front of the closet. Carl snored softly, and it was a comforting sound. 

"I don't blame you for Sasha. You panicked, I understand that. Besides, it's not like I'm a saint either when it comes to people dying". 

Maggie jerked back then. What was he going on about it? 

And she asked him. 

"Back at the prison, on that supply run. The one that Sasha lead. Beth's boyfriend, Zach I think he was called. He died because of me. I caused the helicopter to crash and he ended up getting killed by one of the walkers. He had to free me, and one just came out of nowhere and bit him". 

Maggie drank in what he was saying, her thoughts pondering. She couldn't be angry at him, not really. Beth and Zach were long gone from this world, and she had let Sasha down in a similar way. 

"Don't worry about it Bob", she said after a silence. "We all make mistakes". 

And it was true.

"Will you let me out, at least?" He asked then. 

Maggie thought about it. He did sound pretty sincere in his apologies. 

But it could be a trick. 

"I don't have the keys", Maggie lied. "I'll ask Rick about it". 

There was a pause, and then...

"Okay. Thanks anyway". 

"Well, I'm off to bed now Bob, goodnight". 

And getting up from the floor, Maggie made her way to the mattress and made sure there was enough room for her and Carl both. She turned around, closed her eyes and went to sleep. 

And surprisingly that night, she did not dream once 

\--- 

The sky was crystal clear blue, not a cloud in sight. Which was unusual for Autumn, but Maggie would take it. 

Four days had passed since they had first came to the mall. And here she was, standing on the rooftops and listening to the moans of the dead. 

Rick was behind her, crept up silently it seemed. But she could feel his presence. 

"I know what you are thinking", he sighed and Maggie turned around to face him. 

"Why not?" She asked, and Rick approached her then to be close to her. 

"Because we are running out of tinned cans. It's been a good break, and it's very easy to want more of it. But we can't live here, the food is almost out and it's bringing the worst out on Bob". 

Maggie turned away to actually look at the herd outside. Their numbers had gathered up, and most were pressing against the front doors. 

She was glad a barricade had been set up long ago, unlikely to break now. 

"But Rick, Carl's smiling again", she turned around and pleaded to him. "He's actually smiling and laughing like a kid should. And Bob, yes he's heavy with the drink. But he's lost somebody he's loved. You of all people should understand that". 

It was the wrong thing to say judging by the hurt look that flashed in Rick's eyes. 

But it was gone just as quick. 

"I know it must be hard on him, which is exactly why we need to go. Somewhere where there isn't booze in sight. He kept us awake all night last night with his singing. 

This place is haunted to him. He won't ever escape from her death unless he is away". 

Maggie nodded slowly then. "You're right", she started to walk back down to the security room. She made sure to inject a tone of annoyance in her voice. 

She had been right. It had been too much to ask. 

But walking down the stairs and into the office, she once again saw the potential this place had. 

Carl was sitting on the mattress playing with the yo-yo she had given him, and he looked up and smiled at her. 

"Hi Maggie", he tossed the string up and down, up and down, up and down. 

"Hi Carl", Maggie grabbed the spiny chair and sat down on it. Looking at Carl playing with his toy, she smiled fondly before turning around to face the monitors. 

She could see Bob staggering forward like a walker in the entrance hall, booze in hand. He took a large gulp and he pretty much collapsed onto the ground.

Getting up from the seat, Maggie quickly rushed out into the main entrance hall and moved down the stairs, her hands on the cool steel of the frame of the stair case. Reaching the marble floor, she ran to where Bob was currently sitting, her shoes making soft noise. 

"Bob, come on. You are going to hurt yourself, get up", she leaned down and tried to help him up. But the dead weight wouldn't budge. 

"Come on, there's a good guy", he was standing now, but she raised her hands to support him from falling. 

"It's my fault", Bob was babbling away, the drink have gotten to him. 

"No it isn't", Maggie reminded him like she always did. 

It felt like rinse, rise and repeat. But she was glad she could do it in a place like this.

Why couldn't Rick see it for what it was? A proper sanctuary. 

Suddenly, a gun shot fired out and Maggie found herself falling with Bob on top of her. Panicking, Maggie found her hands wrapped around herself looking for any bullet wounds. 

She had none. And Bob didn't either. 

She heard shouting, and a horn beeping. 

And before she could try to get Bob off her to see what was going on, she heard the loud roaring of a truck overruling the moans of the dead. 

And in a matter of seconds, the front doors shattered and a truck drove straight in with not a care in the world, walkers dangling to the side and underneath. 

Maggie grabbed Bob with all her might and pulled over, her heart racing. The two rolled over into the Argos shop, where they had left half of their weapons. 

"Come on", she hissed and dragging Bob along they hid behind the counter. From the look of Bob's wide eyed look, Maggie knew he had almost sobered up instantly. 

Looking over the counter, Maggie realised that two men were leaving the front of the truck, one of them falling to the ground due to the impact. 

And there was two others from behind, jumping down. They all had machine guns. 

"Let's kill these sons of bitches now!" 

And with that their machine guns fired, onto the dead.

Turning around, Maggie realised with dread in her stomach tugging like a snake that there was many a walkers piling into the mall like nobody's business, the barricade easily discarded now. 

Turning around, Maggie grabbed onto her rifle and realised she only had three bullets. 

Make every one count, she told herself furiously. 

Adjusting and then aiming the scope, Maggie found herself aiming at the driver of the truck, who still hadn't fully recovered from the impact of the truck crash. 

Pulling the trigger, Maggie quickly hissed at Bob to move for the other side of the store. 

But he didn't. And Maggie realised in horror he was frozen in place. Shocked. 

"Bob, come on", but before she could continue, bullets fired at their direction. 

The bullets hit the floor and the walls, and if it wasn't for the counters they would have hit the pair of them as well. Maggie cursed in frustration and waited for the bullets to stop. 

Only two to go. 

Realising the rifle wouldn't do, Maggie turned around for the other weapons. There was only one, and it was a machine gun. 

She never quite got the hang of one, but it would have to do. 

Maggie grabbed onto it and the slight motion set the men off, but she was down again, gun in hand. Removing the strap of her rifle, Maggie passed it over to Bob. 

"Use it", and just like that, she turned around to face a difficult challenge. 

Pushing herself up, Maggie fired blindly at the men behind the truck and quickly ran to the other side, narrowly missing bullets that missed her by an inch. 

At the right side of the shop, Maggie had a good look at the front of the mall. More and more dead were pouring in now, and they were all moaning for the living. Their only meat. 

Cursing in luck, Maggie turned to face Bob, who continued to be frozen in place like a statue. 

"Fuck", she heard one of the men cry as a few walkers got close to the truck. Using this as an opportunity, Maggie pushed herself up and fired. 

She hit one on the shoulder and he fell down, and without hesitating she aimed at the head and with a quick tug he was gone. The other two men were too busy with the dead, and as such they were easy targets. 

She only fired and killed one, but the other she realised she didn't need to waste the bullets as a walker reached out and bit him on the shoulder, and the others pushed him down and tore him apart like a big juicy meat. 

"Bob, come on!" She shouted, and she quickly ran towards the man and grabbed him by the shoulder. 

"We need to get out of here". 

Bob just looked up at her. "Just leave me here". 

Hearing a snarl, Maggie turned around to see a couple of walkers had made it into Argos. Without pausing for breath, Maggie fired the machine gun and the sacks of pus fell down like bricks. 

But she was out of bullets. 

She heard a door opening loudly, and looking up from the store she saw Rick and Carl leaving the security room. Rick was ushering Carl forward into the storage room, the one Sasha had died in. 

He turned around to see what was happening, and he saw Maggie at the front of Argos. 

"I'll cover you", and with their other rifle (the one that Sasha had, Maggie thought sadly) began firing at a couple of walkers. 

Realising there was an opportunity, Maggie quickly grabbed onto Bob despite his pleas and pulled him up. She didn't know who gave her strength. Maybe it was God for her finally believing again? 

But she pushed on, and the two of them found themselves running through the middle of the mall. The mall that Sasha had sacrificed her life for. 

And for what, four days of peace? 

They reached the stairwell, narrowly missing a few walkers. They quickly ran up, and Rick allowed them down into the storage room first before entering himself and closing the door. 

"I saw them but I couldn't stop them", Rick explained very quickly. "I tried to, but I missed". 

Maggie nodded her head. Trying to get rid of thoughts of a mall they could have had a life in. 

She did not know why she was so desperate for that dream, only that she was. 

"Dad, I can't move this cabinet", they heard Carl yell down below. 

The three adults quickly ushered down the stairs, and Rick tried to push it up alongside Bob, who seemed to be muttering under his breath. 

Maggie turned around to look at the spot where Sasha had bled out, and closed her eyes. 

So much horror had happened. 

So much death. 

She wouldn't let it happen again. Never again. 

And with that, she helped the men lift it up. It was a struggle, but eventually they did succeed.

Maggie pushed herself against the door only to see a couple of walkers near her. Without even hesitating, Maggie pushed one down and grabbed onto the other. She grabbed onto its long hair and started pushing its head against the brick wall, extinguishing "life" from the creature. 

Rick pulled his machete out and killed the other. 

"Where do we go?" Carl asked, and Maggie looked at Rick. 

Where did they go from here. They were four numbers short than they were a week before. 

Rick stood there, thinking it through. 

"We go to Washington, see if Abraham and his crew are still alive. But first, we need to get out of here". 

And with that they ran. Maggie could still feel a slight pain in her leg, but it was better now. 

It was only minor compared to the pain in her heart as she looked around to see the mall. 

A mall they sacrificed a friend for, for nothing but a couple of happy memories. 

As they reached the outer forests, Maggie stopped for breath for a couple of seconds. She looked at Rick running in front of her, his ideas for Washington. 

A false dream, a false hope. 

He had this plan in his head a long time, she knew. 

And she didn't plan on following him there.


	10. Journeys And Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie makes a decision and the four survivors run into serious trouble.

The poisonous grey sky was the first thing she saw as she opened her eyes. 

It was about to rain, judging by the clouds. A couple of days ago that wouldn't have been a problem. She would have went down those steps leading to the security room alongside the rest. 

They would have played cards or something to pass the day. Trying out the new clothes. Finding equipment from Argos to try all sorts of things. 

But that was a couple of days ago. Now they were out in the forest once again, with only string cans and a lookout to protect them. 

Nothing to shelter them from the hard unforgiving weather nor any equipment to fool around with and smile if only for a second. 

Excluding the yo-yo she had given Carl, but the string had broke one day and he had tossed it over a bridge. 

One more ghost to forget, she had hoped. 

She didn't. 

Sighing, Maggie pushed herself up from the forest ground. Bob was heavily snoring, and she assumed he wasn't on lookout duty last night. Small wonder, he barely recovered from the five day drinking session in the mall. 

It had been two days since the mall, and things weren't getting any easier. 

She saw Rick sitting on top of their one and only car, a truck. Carl would sit at the front besides Rick who would drive, and Maggie would find herself at the back alongside Bob. 

She didn't mind. She did mind the destination they were going towards though. 

Washington. 

There was nothing there, she told herself repeatedly. "It's just a wasteland, the same as this fucking place", she had furiously told Rick last night. Bob had been slurring and Carl was trying his best to ignore the heated argument. 

Rick had snarled, "It's a chance to get away from this fucking place then, isn't it? And besides, we've got people there. Waiting". 

Maggie chuckled bitterly at the memory, causing Rick to look up in alarm. He stared at her then, and she stared back. 

With everybody around them dropping like flies, it baffled Maggie as to why Rick was digging his head further into the sand. 

She was pretty confident that Abraham and his group were all dead in a ditch somewhere. Abraham who had the mouth of a sailor and had the attitude. Rosita who made sure to keep up with her appearance despite all that had happened. Eugene with his weird quips and his awkward personality. 

And his lies. The lies that had prevented her from rescuing Beth and saving Glenn. 

A young boy named Noah had also joined them although only because they were heading that way. He wanted to get home, to his family. He would split off when he was near that home. He had been with Beth in her final days in this world, fighting a corrupt system from the sound of things. 

She was glad he left. She didn't know if she could handle it with him around her. 

And last but not least, Father Gabriel Stokes. The man who had betrayed his own flock and was an utter coward, yet he had lasted long in the world than many brave men and woman fighting for their loved ones. 

She couldn't shake off how opposite he was to her daddy. Still couldn't. Whilst her daddy was off reaching the sick, Gabriel was the one who turned his back on them. 

He had judged her with his eyes for participating in the slaughter. She knew he did. 

It didn't matter now anyway. He had split off from the group with Abraham, Rosita and Eugene in search for a sanctuary in Washington, despite the truth of Eugene's treachery. 

They were all dead. She was sure of it. 

"Are you just going to keep staring at me?" Rick had asked then, breaking her thoughts. Maggie blinked, and shook her head. 

"Sorry, I was in my own world there", Maggie explained. She approached Rick and leaned her side to the truck. 

"I know you don't want to go to Washington", Rick spoke suddenly, not daring to beat around the bush. But that was Rick for you. He hadn't been so blunt and straightforward before. 

But the world had changed him. Death had changed him. Loss had changed him. 

Maggie looked up at him then and said, "Of course you know. We had an argument about it last night". 

The quick response caused Rick to chuckle slightly. "That we did", he grinned. 

Maggie looked out at the sight in front of her. They were at the edge of the forest, so they could see far ahead. A field with a variety of trees was in front of them. 

Despite all that happened in the past couple of years, nature went on. 

It was a sad feeling. They'd been left to die for their sins. 

All the greed and the self-gratitude. The arrogance, the power. All of it. It still continued today, but there were fewer people to practice the acts. 

God worked in funny ways, and once again she questioned as to why she even believed him in the first place. 

She hadn't for a long time, but the mall had reawakened her Faith. 

Rick cut her thoughts off once again as he spoke, "We need to go Maggie. I know it's likely Abraham and the others are dead. I know there is probably no safe zone for us to run into, or anything like the prison. 

But we need a goal. We can't just wander around aimlessly. If you have a better solution, I would gladly hear of it. 

Right now though, we need something to get us going. We were struggling to get by after the hospital... I don't want my son to go through that again". 

Maggie took in his words, drank them in. 

He was right to some extent. Of course he was right. 

But she still didn't feel up to going. The last time she took this journey, she had regained and lost everything all in the one go. 

She replied, "I understand Rick, truly I do. But it's something personal to me. I don't think I can go to Washington, or even try to. I'm sorry but I don't think it will work. It'll just remind me of everything that happened". 

And with that she broke off from the truck and grabbed the sports bag at the back of it. 

Rick went to stop her though. "Maggie, you can't leave", his voice held a tone she didn't particularly like. 

Not his fault, but she didn't like to be confronted like this when about to make a hard choice. 

"And why not?" She challenged back, her fiery spirit shining through the words. She didn't want to be made feel guilty over this, no way. She would miss Rick and Bob and of course Carl. 

But she missed her daddy and Beth and Glenn more. The people that had meant so much to her, cruelly taken away from her. 

"Because Carl needs you", Rick hissed to be quiet. Their voices were getting loud, and it wouldn't be good if the boy woke up to an argument after falling asleep to the last one. 

Maggie turned around to see the sleeping boy clutching tightly on the paper thin sheet. 

"No he doesn't", Maggie shook her head. "You're just saying that to make me stay". 

Rick gritted his teeth. "No I'm not", he continued. "Tara was there for him after the prison and, Judith..." Even the word hurt for him. He rarely mentioned the baby. "But now she's not, and I've seen the way he is around you Maggie. You make him smile, lighten up the mood. I try but nothing works when he's around me. It's entirely different with you". 

Maggie stared at him then, and she felt something akin to disgust recoil in her stomach. "Are you seriously using your son to make me stay with the group to go to Washington?" She asked the question that she knew would hurt him. 

And it did. Rick was taken aback. Then something seemed to snap. She could see it in his eyes. 

"Just go if you really think that", and with that he went back to sit in front of the truck, at the endless fields in front of him. 

Maggie sighed and turned around. She tossed out a pile of clothes and kept a few for herself. She adjusted both the strap to her back that held her rifle and the bag so both weren't irritating her, and with that she went to leave. 

The leaves crunched under her boots, and it started to rain. Just like she predicted. 

As she prepared to leave without a look back, a small voice interrupted her thoughts. 

"Don't go", Carl pleaded and he looked at her. Maggie felt her insides coil up like a snake. 

"I need to", Maggie blinked back tears. She didn't want to but she couldn't go to Washington. Not ever. 

"Please", he got up then and approached her. "Please Maggie. I've already lost Mom, and Tara. I don't want to lose you too". 

Maggie thought of a katana swinging and catching her father's neck. A stab at the chest and a bullet in return for her sister's troubles. The knife clutching at her husband's stomach. 

Don't go. 

And so she made her choice right there and then. 

\--- 

They rode in silence. 

Maggie found herself looking out at the window at the endless fields and trees before her. She remembered the last time she did this. The crash, the herd, the fallout after. 

Don't think about it, she told herself. 

Yet it was all she could do. 

She was next to Rick who was driving. Carl was at the back next to Bob. There had been fallout over that between father and son. Carl seemed to be rebelling against his father at the moment. 

She wondered why. 

"I'm sorry", Rick cut off the silence. Maggie looked at him, truly looked at him. He was tired. Bags were under his eyes and the wrinkles didn't do him any favours either. 

"Don't be sorry", she told him curly. She didn't forgive him, not really. But if they were to die today, she didn't want them to die on bad terms. 

"It's not just that", Rick continued. His eyes were focused on the road ahead, but he held the conversation. "I know how hard this journey is, to Washington. Believe me, I completely understand how you feel about it. After Lori, I didn't even want to stay at the prison". 

The prison. It surprised her that she rarely thought of the place anymore. After they found the mall anyway. 

It had been her second home after the farm. The place where they had built a community for themselves, farmed and lived out hope that one day things would be better. 

How fucking stupid were they? 

"I know", Maggie said. She turned to look at the road again. "Daddy told me you were considering taking us away from the place". 

Rick jerked in motion, but he kept control of the wheel and his concentration. "Did he mention anything else?" He asked her. 

Maggie shook her head. "No", she answered his conversation. "Why?" 

Rick just tutted. "Doesn't matter". 

The truck continued on, but as the seconds added up to minutes, Maggie began to think about his rather strange reaction to her bringing her dad back up. 

"It does matter", Maggie said firmly. "Rick, I know me and you haven't seen eye to eye in the last couple of months. But I told you about Tara, and I think th-"... 

She was cut off by the truck suddenly stopping. Maggie had to push her arms forward to prevent her head from smacking into the dashboard. She heard both Bob and Carl yelp. 

"What the-", Maggie was cut off once again as she saw Rick's horrified reaction. She turned over to see what he was looking at it, and her answer was answered before her question was asked. 

There were at least twenty thousands walkers, all in one crowd. They hadn't seen them yet from what she could tell. 

But they were there. Just waiting. Standing there motionless from what she could see. 

And they were a big obstacle to their one and only path. 

Memories came back, and she found herself standing with a shotgun in hand. Growing more concerned as Abraham began to flip out at the herd in the distance. 

Him grabbing onto Eugene. Eugene telling the truth. A punch, a threat. 

Dreams dashed away, and she had made the biggest mistake of her life as of yet. 

"Turn back", she told Rick. He looked at her and nodded. She could hear Bob muttering to Carl that everything was going to be fine. 

Only a snarl could be heard, and Maggie turned to the right window and gasped in horror. 

What seemed like only a couple turned into a dozen and a dozen into more than enough to form their very own mini-herd. 

Walkers were piling from the forests on both sides from what she could tell. And they were forming together. 

They were trapped between a rock and a hard place. 

"Get out", Maggie hissed at Rick and she quickly opened the car door. Pushing herself out of the truck, she ran towards the closest one and aimed true and fast with the machete that she removed from the holster. 

A swipe and the monster was down, and she pulled the machete out. She missed her old one, but this would have to do. 

"Carl, Bob. Come on!" She instructed the pair of them. Bob grabbed onto Carl and they pushed themselves out of the truck, and they began to follow her. Bob was still hungover and Carl was clearly terrified. The snarls were getting louder. 

Rick slammed the truck door shut as he left the vehicle and with his machete he struck his target. The machete killed the walker and then Rick slashed the other as quickly as possible, before following his group. 

Maggie pushed one walker to the side and found herself going into the forests. Despite Bob's cries of calling her batshit insane and Rick's questioning demands, Maggie continued. 

The walkers were everywhere. They surrounded them. 

But they kept running. And running they did. 

Maggie snarled as one got in her path and before the second passed the walker found the machete cutting through most of it's throat. Maggie kicked the creature back and let the blood splatter all over her. 

She continued running, the leaves crunching under her boots. She turned around to see Bob and Carl close behind. Rick was nowhere to be found. 

Trying not to think too much about it, Maggie pushed on. "Come on", she yelled to the pair of them. 

Suddenly, her foot slipped and she found herself going over the edge of a small hill. Crying out in disbelief, Maggie found herself falling through rock and mud, scraping her knees and hands as she went down. 

She felt her hands on the warm sand of a beach. Turning up, she saw Bob and Carl standing on top of the hill.

"Are you okay?" Bob cried out in concern, and quickly turned around to push a walker away. 

Maggie ignored the question. "Quick, come on down", she shouted above. Reaching her hands out, she beckoned Carl to be the first. 

And he was. Pushing himself down carefully unlike her, Carl traveled down the hill in a matter of seconds and Maggie grabbed onto his hand and pulled him to the beach. 

"Bob, your turn", Maggie was getting desperate now. They needed to get out of here fast, and then find Rick. 

Bob placed himself down and went to quickly crawl down, only for two walkers to reach out and grab onto his shoulders. 

Bob screamed and Carl yelped. Without even pausing, Maggie quickly ripped off the strap of the rifle she carried with her and took aim through the scope. 

Pulling the trigger, she hit one of the forehead. Bob was in a dance with the other, a desperate dance which involved kicking and screaming and trying not to get bitten. 

The two fell down the hill almost comically. Maggie quickly threw the rifle to the ground and with her machete hit the walker on the head. Bob was panting and taking haggard breaths. Maggie couldn't blame him. 

Quickly jumping to the situation at hand, Maggie reached around Bob's shoulders as he tried to push himself up. 

"What are you doing?" Bob slurred, the drink getting to him once again. Maggie checked for any scratches or bites, but she found none. 

"Doesn't matter", she whispered to him. More snarls, and Maggie looked up to see three walkers approaching them. 

And they reached out and fell. 

"Come on, stay in front of me", Maggie commanded the pair of them. "Go, run". 

As they did, Maggie picked up the rifle after placing the machete in her holster. They were getting out of this beach no matter what. 

There were only a couple of walkers out in front of them, but they were easy to avoid. Maggie turned around to see at least seven walkers having fallen down the little role. 

"There's a shaft", Carl pointed out. Maggie turned around to see that was he right. A shaft that would lead to the sewers most likely, judging by the filthy water pouring out. 

It wasn't like they had any other option. 

"Come on, follow me", Maggie told them as she placed herself in front. Reaching the shaft, Maggie realised that only a gate blocked their path. 

A gate that needed to be lifted up and raised to get through. 

"Bob, help me with this", Maggie gritted her teeth as she pulled with all her might. Bob placed his hands down at the bottom of the gate like she did and the two struggled to push it up. 

The walkers were getting closer, and time was running out. 

"Hurry", Carl yelled. Maggie saw with the corner of her eye Carl picking up her rifle and turning around to face the walkers. 

"Carl, do-" 

But it was too late. The boy fired, and he killed one of the walkers. Shot in-between the eye. 

One less walker to worry about, most likely a herd of twenty thousand after that source of gunshot now. 

"Got it", Bob cheered in triumph and Maggie realised they did have it up. Carl placed himself up the shaft, and still holding onto the shaft Maggie and Bob gently followed him after so they didn't get their fingers caught. 

The gate was shut, and the walkers arrived. Their hands reached out and their mourns were open in obvious hunger, snarling and moaning for the food they would never have. 

The first thing Maggie noticed was not the pitch darkness, but the smell. 

It almost made her gag, but she kept her composure. Bob wasn't so lucky, he heaved what little he had eaten that morning. Carl covered his nose but even still, it wasn't doing any good. 

Maggie approached slowly, knowing how dangerous it was to travel in the darkness. Unfortunately she didn't have anything with her to lighten the path forward. 

"Carl, hold my hand", she whispered. Carl did, and he held onto Bob's hand. 

It was the blind leading the blind as they traveled down, the only source of noise they could hear was their footsteps. 

That and the drum drum drum noise of the dead above. If Maggie was to take a guess, they were directly down below the massive herd of twenty thousand. 

Going to Washington was always a bad idea. It had been since the beginning, and it always would be. 

Why she agreed to going she would never know. Feeling guilty over Carl was likely to get her killed today.

She would do anything to make sure that didn't happen. 

Suddenly, she found herself pressed against a double door. Letting go of Carl's hand, she reached out and stared to grasp for the handle. The door was heavy and it resisted her tugging, but eventually it swung open. 

Light paved the way, and what she saw made her sick to the stomach. 

Somebody had been here, a whole community from the look of things. A variety of washing lines, bathroom essentials, nursery items, tents, couches and a whole lot of other stuff. 

Once it had been home. 

Now it was the aftermath of a brutal massacre. Children neatly lined up side by side, their throats open for all to see and a bullet in the forehead. A couple of walkers hung above from the tight coil of a rope, and the adults were piled up one over the other. All were fully dead as far as she could tell. 

The only source of life in this room was the flickering light above, showing the tragedy in all its glory. 

"Carl, close your eyes", Maggie told Carl. She made sure he did as he told before taking a hold of Carl's hand. She could hear Bob gasp audibly as he saw the sight before him, and she couldn't blame him. 

Making sure not to step over the deceased, Maggie walked slowly with Carl and Bob behind her. Searching for any way to get out. A bright vibrant red greeted her at one of the Walls: 

GOD HAVE MERCY ON THOSE WHO SINNED 

Shaking her head in disgust, Maggie continued on. The people who made a mockery of her religion, her daddy's religion, didn't deserve to believe in it at all if they did. 

The tragedy before her once again made her question once again if God existed. 

But it was a question for another day. All that mattered now was getting out of here with Bob and Carl alive, and finding Rick. 

"There's a door", Bob pointed out. Maggie turned around to see that he was right, and she followed his direction. Letting go of Carl's hand, Maggie reached out for her machete and after counting to three, pushed against the door and stormed in. 

What greeted her was a stairwell, reaching all the way to the top. 

Ushering both Carl and Bob in, Maggie turned to shut the door. As she did so, she gave the room before her one last look. 

It reminded her of Terminus. A place that once was a community, a thriving community that relied on the goodness of people's hearts. 

Only for it to turn into something else entirely. Dark. Twisted. This room was haunted now, it could never shake away the tragedy that befell it. 

Who could do that was the question, but she knew it before she even thought of it. 

She could see a handsome man who was charming and ever so graceful to the people around him. He had led them through everything and they were still going on, living in a town behind walls. Not having to worry. 

Only they did. Behind closed doors. She could still feel the coldness of that chamber some nights, the way he pushed her against the cold steel of the table and the way he pressed against her and... 

Shaking her head as if to brush away the thoughts, Maggie shut the door with a satisfying thud. 

And awoke the dead whilst doing so. 

They could hear them before they saw them. The moans and the snarls and the hunger that came through the moans and the snarls. 

"Run", Maggie shouted, and Carl and Bob did just that. 

The dead had been there in the shadows, waiting. And they were all coming out now, their hands reaching for the meat they probably haven't had in years. 

Step after step, Maggie pushed the man and boy in front of her upwards. The dead were trailing behind them just a couple of steps away. She could feel them on her neck, and her hair was well and truly sticking up out of fear. 

"Move", she heard Bob shout. Looking up, she saw him grab onto a walker right in front of him and with all his energy he pushed it over the rail. The creature fell down with a sickening thud. 

Only she could see a bigger problem in front of them. Another horde of walkers was waiting, ready to jump out of the shadows. 

They had jumped from the frying pan and into the fire. 

Maggie quickly pushed past both Bob and Carl, and without even hesitating slashed and diced and swung her way throughout the herd. Blood splattered everywhere but it didn't matter. They needed a clear path out of here. 

Her world red, Maggie saw a room packed to the side with lockers and maintenance control. And judging by the window up top, the sun was shining. 

There was a door at the back, with a small window frame up top.

They were nearly there.

Turning around, Maggie grabbed onto Carl's hand and pushed him forward. Bob was grabbed onto by a walker that went out to bite him, but Maggie didn't pause for breath and with her machete swung the weapon down and struck the walker on its head. 

"Come on", Maggie ushered Bob forward before turning back with the machete in hand. 

They were gathering closely now, she knew. But they were getting out of this, they had to. 

Carl reached for the door handle and went out to open it.

Only it was locked. 

Crying out in disbelief, Maggie turned around and pushed the walkers closest to her away and reached out for her trusted machete once again. 

"Bob", she commanded without even looking at him. "Get Carl through that window if you can. I'll try to hold these fuckers back". 

And not even a second had passed before she was holding them back. There were more and more and more of them, but she kept killing and killing and killing them. All sorts of red and purple splashed back at her, the purple she didn't want to know where it came from. 

And it was this moment when she realised she had never been so alive. 

She could see the corner of her eye Bob had succeeded, and he turned around to help her. He grabbed up a crowbar, and the two set off to work. 

They could do this, Maggie told herself fiercely. They had to. 

The door clicked, and Bob turned around. "Maggie, come on", he shouted over the moans of the dead. 

Only she was too busy being caught up in the rush that she didn't bare him any attention. All that mattered was the now, of letting her frustrations go. 

"Maggie", Bob snarled and he reached out for her shoulder. 

Without even thinking about it, Maggie turned around and slashed at Bob. 

Blood trickled from his face, and he looked at her in disbelief. He staggered backwards, nearly out of the room. 

Not looking back at the walkers, Maggie rushed forwards and pushed Bob to the forefront. He was out of the room, and so was Maggie. 

Carl quickly slammed the door shut and he locked the door with the keys that were left in the handle. Maggie noticed a red message painted above the door: 

THIS IS GOD'S WORK AND HIS SERVANTS SHALL BE REWARDED

Turning to Bob paying the damned message no mind, Maggie whispered and hushed him as he started sobbing, the pain getting to him. 

Luckily she hadn't dug too deep. Any more and she would have killed him right there and then. She had only cut him. 

It would leave a scar across his face, but they needed medical supplies and fast. 

"Carl, can you watch over him", Maggie pleaded. She knew this was risky. Carl was never left on his own, and with the state Bob was in he might as well have been alone. 

Carl shook his head, tears flowing. "I can't. You killed him", he accused her. Maggie shook her head violently, denying the accusation. 

"I'm just going to find anything to help him", Maggie explained desperately. She wasn't going to be responsible for another death in the group. No way. Rick once blamed her for Daryl and she had killed Tara, Oscar and Sasha. 

Bob wouldn't be another one that fell because of her. 

"Please", Maggie pleaded. Looking around the area around her, Maggie realised they were on a path that led down to a neighbourhood. To the left was the field, and the twenty thousand walkers. 

Carl sighed, and he sat down next to Bob. "Just hurry up", he told her blankly. 

And she tried. She could hear the dead banging against the locked door but she paid it no mind. 

Sprinting forward Maggie made sure that the machete was tightened in her holster and she grabbed onto the rifle with both hands. 

Anything could be here. 

She went to the first house in the street. The front of the house had been burnt away into nothing, but most of the indoor location had been left untouched by the flames. Unfortunately the same could not be said for anything of valuable that would be looted. 

But she tried anyway. Racking through drawers and chests, looking for any medical supplies or bandages or anything of any note. 

She repeated the process for four houses now. By the time she reached the fifth, she found the past day catching up to her. 

Upstairs and in the bathroom, she sat down to catch her breath. "Just breathe", she whispered to herself. "Everything is going to be fine". 

Pushing herself up after realising the bathroom was empty, Maggie walked to the next room after that. A bedroom. 

And there was a couple, man and woman, lying down on the bed. Their throat was cut open, and their eyes spoke of a horror that visited them in their last moments. Two simple holes on the forehead. 

Thinking back of the children, Maggie heaved. It was too much. 

From the corner of her eye, she noticed yet another red message. 

WE GIVE YOU THIS GOD AS A SACRIFICE 

Eyes widening, Maggie considered the possibility of whoever was doing this still being alive and well. 

And they could be in the neighbourhood. 

And she had left a vulnerable Carl and injured Bob. 

Pushing herself up, Maggie left the room and sprinted down the stairwell. Just as she pushed open the front door, she could barely shout a warning as the figure in front of her punched her. 

And the world went black.


	11. Separation And Reds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick tries to get to the rest of the group, and Maggie prepares for the fight of her life.

He had been cut off from the living by the dead. 

Rick could see them just ahead. Maggie was leading the way, slicing and dicing her way through the dead creatures whilst leading his son, his Carl and a man he had strangely grown fond of, Bob. 

Even though he liked a drink here and there, or more like ten add twenty. It was likely to get him killed, and it had endangered them in more than one occasion. 

But right now that wasn't the thing he was worrying about. 

A walker approached, its hands reaching out to bite him. Rick felt his hand clutch around the red handle and without even hesitating pulled the machete out and struck his target with the experience of being a couple of years non-stop killing machine. 

Another walker reached out and Rick found himself having a handful. Cursing and snarling all the while, Rick tried to get the machete out of his dead target in order to strike the next one. 

By the time he did so, he turned around to see that more and more walkers had arrived, and they blocked his only path to Carl, Maggie and Bob. 

"Shit", Rick cursed as he backed away as the monsters followed him, hands out and mouths snarling. Their rotten teeth were bound to fall out one of these days, he thought vaguely. 

He needed to get to his group and fast. Carl was all he had left now in this cruel world. Lori had been taken away quickly, he had put Shane down himself. 

And Judith. Taken along with Patricia in the fall of the prison. It had been a brutal and violent battle, and he could still remember his disbelief at seeing his friend broken and crumpled on the ground, her hands covering the body of his little girl. 

No matter how he tried, he couldn't get that sight out of his mind. 

But he knew one thing. He would never let that happen to Carl. 

So with that in mind, Rick turned around and ran back where he had come from. Walkers were approaching, he noticed. Dodging and ducking, Rick kept up a steady pace as the creatures followed him. 

He finally reached the truck. More walkers had appeared on the spot, enough to form a herd of one hundred. But it didn't matter right now. 

Rick quickly pushed himself at the back of the truck and grabbed onto the sports bag they were forced to leave behind. Pulling the zipper as fast as he could, Rick scrambled through the clothes and picked up the machine gun. 

The same gun that Maggie had used in their last day at the mall. 

It would attract noise. He knew that better than anyone. 

But fuck the noise. He needed to get to his son. 

He jumped from the truck after checking the gun was ready to fire, and he began shooting as he went along. He missed quite a few times, this particular gun wasn't his strong suite. 

Not that it mattered. 

Going back the way he came, with most of the walkers on his back once again and barely any in front of him, Rick ran forward to the direction where the others had went. 

The leaves crunching under his shoes and the rain beginning to drizzle down his back provided a distraction, a distraction that he didn't need. Trying to concentrate more, Rick focused on the footpaths he spotted at a quick glance to the forest floor. 

He hoped against everything that Maggie was keeping Carl safe. He liked Bob but he was a right mess. And despite his conflict with Maggie, the woman was hellbent on protecting his son. 

He knew that, and it's why he ranked her before when they were more than just the four of them quite high. She was one he could always count on. 

He hoped he could count on her this time. 

Reaching a small hill, Rick saw a couple of dead bodies lying down the beach, their blood still fresh. Turning around to see nothing but hearing the moans of the dead from a distance away, Rick pushed himself down the hill.

Reaching the sandy ground, Rick stepped up still holding onto his machine gun and began to run. He left behind a trail of footsteps and the speed he picked up showed his determination to find his group, his family. 

A couple of walkers were in front of him, but he ignored the creatures due to them being spaced apart well enough. It was like that in this world now. Used to be every walker caused a big fuss, a fear that cut deeper than swords. 

But now, now it was just part of life. 

He didn't know if that scared him or not. 

It was the first thing he noticed after turning around a corner. A crowd of walkers all trying to get into a shaft. 

It must have been where Carl, Maggie and Bob went to in hopes of escaping. It had to be.

Without even hesitating, Rick snarled and aimed the machine gun. Pulling the trigger was like sweet release from the stress, and it gave him a sense of joy to mow the fuckers down. 

It wasn't the first time that he scared himself. 

After the walkers went down one by one, Rick pressed forward and reached the shaft. There was a gate that led to the sewers, he assumed. 

Only after disposing all of the obstacles in front of him, after chucking the gun down and trying to lift the gate up he realised he wasn't strong enough to push it up. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck", Rick cursed and moaned, but still the gate didn't budge. Rick pushed himself back from the irritating steel and he kicked it as hard as he could. 

It wasn't wise and it was a very stupid thing to do, and Rick felt the consequences soon enough. 

But he didn't care about that right now. He needed to focus on finding the rest of them as fast as possible. 

"Carl!" He yelled through the gate. "Carl! Maggie! Bob! Someone answer!" 

And somebody did, only they weren't living anymore. Snarls of the dead caused his stomach to coil up in dread, and he started rattling at the gates. Getting desperate as the reality of the situation kicked in. 

Turning around, Rick noticed a couple of walkers were approaching. Grabbing the machine gun, Rick went on to fire only to realise he had wasted all the ammunition today. 

It had been stupid using the gun in the first place. 

But he was a desperate man. Still is. 

Looking to the side of the shaft, Rick noticed a map. Examining it closely, Rick realised it was the layout of the sewers.

And another way to get in. 

Grabbing onto the map, Rick looked it over multiple times before shoving it in his pocket paying it no mind that it was creased. 

That was the least of his worries. 

Sprinting away from the shaft, Rick's hands tightened around the handle of his machete all the while. 

The map directed him to travel around the beach until he saw the back of a neighbourhood that was named "Peaches Street". Go down the road and travel up the hill for another entrance to the sewers. 

He hoped to god, whom he did not believe existed but right now it didn't matter, that Maggie had gotten Carl to safety at least. 

If she hadn't, he was over. 

The sand getting into his shoes was beginning to annoy, but as of now it was a minor inconvenience. 

What a day. Since the beginning of this hell on earth the majority of the days always started out calm and fine (despite the spat he had with Maggie) and turned into something monstrous by the end. 

This was one of those days. He knew. 

He should have seen it coming. 

He found Peaches Street a couple of minutes later. It was like any other neighbourhood he and his ever changing group had always come across. 

At least half the houses were burnt to the ground, and the ones that weren't were missing walls and were often stripped off its valuables to the core. Only a couple were lucky enough to be untouched, and even then they didn't offer anything of value either. 

Rick pushed himself from the beach and focused on reaching the hill. 

Only a woman screamed, and he turned around to the source of distraction. 

It came from the house next to him on the left. One of the unburnt houses, but it was missing parts of its structure. Hesitating, Rick reached for his colt python and stepped forward. 

He thought of Carl being in danger, of walkers reaching out and sinking their teeth into his skin. He thought of a woman he didn't know screaming and dying. 

Who was more important? 

Carl. Always Carl. 

But the woman could bring a whole lot of problems, whether she was the problem or not. 

He would deal with this quickly and then get his son back, he decided. 

Approaching the door, Rick ducked and crept underneath the windows. Peeking through the glass windows, Rick looked at the sight before him. 

It was a group of people wearing red cloaks. Five, he counted. They were surrounding a table with a woman tied up. The woman was screaming, and one of the five started to paint strange symbols on her forehead. 

Realising he was outnumbered with little bullets as it was, Rick made yet another hard decision that would keep him awake at nights like they always did. 

He went to turn around to go back to Carl, and get the fuck out of this place as fast as possible. 

Better her than him. 

However, what he wasn't expecting was the man before him. He had a red cloak like the five. 

Five made six. 

Before Rick could even react, the man grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him up. Rick fought back but the man was much stronger than he was. He pushed Rick to the door and the door itself fell off its weak hinges. 

Rick found himself on the hall floor with the man un top of him. He could hear the other five gasping and turning around.

It was here that Rick noticed that the entire house was tainted with red and black messages. Of symbols and tributes to The Lord above. 

And of sacrifices. A walker hung above the ceiling, a rope clenching around its neck. Blood smeared over its shirt: 

I DESERVED THIS 

"Get him", he heard one of them shriek. Trying to punch and kick and bite back, Rick realised the entire group were upon him. They pushed him up and held onto him tightly, and no matter what he tried to do he couldn't get them off. 

The woman continued to scream, and Rick was shoved down besides her at the table. "Lydia, get the knife", one commanded. Rick could only struggle against the variety of hands and arms forcing him down. 

"Steady his hand", and Rick's eyes widened as he realised what was going to happen. 

A sudden glimmer of metal, and the knife was down upon his right hand. The butcher knife cut clean through. 

He screamed, and screamed some more alongside the woman. 

And the world went black. 

\--- 

Maggie awoke to the sound of screams and pleas. 

Quickly pushing herself up from the cold floor, Maggie scanned her surroundings to see that she was in some dusty old basement. 

Reaching out for her machete or gun, Maggie realised to her horror that she didn't have any of them with her. 

Looking up to see the set of stairs leading to her way out, Maggie crept up slowly so she didn't make any noise. 

Her hand reached out to the door handle, and tried to open it. 

It was locked. 

"Fuck", she cursed. She turned around to creep back down the stairs looking for some other way to escape only for the door to slam open. 

A man and a woman in red cloaks were at the entrance, and they were walking down the stairs to get her. 

Backing away, Maggie's hands reached out for anything to put up a fight. She didn't find anything, and by then it was too late. 

She tried to run, but the man punched her in the stomach and she fell down groaning. She tried to crawl away, but the woman stepped on her fingers and Maggie found herself letting out a blood curling scream. 

"Get her up", the woman snarled at the man and he followed her commands. Kicking and screaming, Maggie tried to fight back but it was no use. 

He was simply too strong. 

"It was you", Maggie found herself saying as the woman reached out to cut her throat with a butcher knife. 

The woman hesitated. "What was me?" She asked. Maggie couldn't see her face clearly due to the hood, but she could feel the uncertainly. 

"You and him. Down in the sewers, you killed those children and their parents", Maggie felt tears beginning to fall now. "They didn't do anything to y-". 

The woman shrieked and slapped her hard enough to leave a bruise. "Didn't do anything to me", Maggie could see a glint in her eye. The same kind that the Governor had. 

The glint of madness. 

"Those so called parents raped me and my sisters", the woman babbled on. "My brothers, they couldn't do anything about it. George here was forced to the ground along with Liam and Greg. Me, Chloe and Lucy couldn't do anything about it. They took us in, and one night they just, just..." 

The woman trailed off and was staring at the wall, but Maggie knew that look. She was reliving a memory all over again. 

The sun shining on a sword as it rose and cut her father's head off. The trigger being pulled and in a millisecond her sister was gone. A thrust with a dagger and Glenn fell to the ground, his life spilling out. 

And another memory flooded up, a memory of when things were peaceful and their little community was thriving. 

The day she had lost her unborn child. 

Trying to shake away the memories was difficult. It had been easy to block that out, but seeing the woman before her brought it back. 

How she had just laid on her prison bed for weeks on end afterwards. How she couldn't even look at Glenn, let alone talk to him. 

How her daddy told her she could never have children. 

The woman continued, and Maggie found herself back in the present. The present that was good and kind to her despite the situation she was in. 

All this running about and fighting off hordes of the dead and bastard humans made her forget. 

But now this was too familiar a memory. That look of loss. 

"We turned to The Lord above after", the woman continued. Maggie felt the man before her begin to tighten his grip on her shoulders. 

"He showed us what must be done. It's just us from now on. We are doing the world a favour by getting rid of these animals. You took everything away from us and you act as if you've done nothing wrong. How fucking delusional are you, huh? How fucking delusional". 

The woman was beginning to scream now, and Maggie never felt more frightened than she did now. 

This was the end, she knew. Deep down in her stomach, she knew that she wasn't walking out of this alive. 

"Why the children though?" Maggie asked. She thought of little Judith and the children she would never have. Of Carl playing with his yo-yo, of Beth reading books to Lizzie and Mica and Luke and Molly and all the rest. 

"They're scum. Children of parents like that, they are better down here than up here that's for sure", the woman was clearly out of her mind. The man's breath stunk something awful, and the rustiness of the basement was beginning to get to her. 

"There's only one Hell", she found herself saying. This morning she was questioning why she still believed in God, if she still did. She hadn't known for sure then. 

She did now. 

"Oh yeah, and what is that", the woman continued. 

"The one we live in now", was her answer. 

The woman's eyes widened almost comically, and she began to laugh a laughter filled with madness and depravity. Her hands shook as did the knife. 

"You hear this one George?" The woman asked. George replied, his breath beginning to add the unease in Maggie, "that I do Lydia. Cut the little bitch's throat and be done with it. We've wasted enough time with her already". 

Lydia smiled then, and Maggie saw her teeth. Covered in red, Maggie thought immediately it was a truly awful smile. 

She didn't want to know where the red came from. 

"That I'll do gladly", and just like that the knife was out and... 

The sound of a lorry driving down the hill distracted her, and then a big BOOM occurred from upstairs. 

The ceiling shook, and Maggie found herself falling along with the man and the woman due to the force of the crash. 

Without even hesitating, Maggie pushed back and kneed George on the nuts. As Lydia started to cough, Maggie grabbed onto the knife and began stabbing her violently. 

In and out, in and out, in and out. On and on it went, and Maggie painted the world red. 

George grabbed onto her hair then. He was screaming and shouting, and Maggie found herself being pulled up but she could not hear what he was saying. A ringing sensation ruled her world there and then. 

Just a quick twist and he would break her neck, she knew that. 

Maggie pushed her head back and made sure the back delivered a blow to the head. It hurt her as well as him, but right now that didn't matter. 

Pushing herself free from his grasp, Maggie grabbed the dagger and turned around. Crying out herself, Maggie slashed the knife at his throat and out poured a fountain of red. 

Without pausing Maggie continued to strike at the neck, at the throat. But she didn't stop there. She continued everywhere, once again painting the world a shade of red. 

It took her a while to realise she was laughing hysterically as the situation set in. All of her frustrations were released there and then. Her daddy, Beth, Glenn, Daryl, Tara, Oscar, Sasha. The farm, the prison, the hospital and the Mall. 

After calming down, Maggie looked at her hands. George had done a right number on it, and it hurt to even move her fingers. 

Pushing herself up and wincing all the whilst, Maggie pushed herself to the side of the wall and she found herself moving slowly but surely up the stairs. 

Reaching to the door, Maggie entered the hallway. Candles were scattered every which way, books torn and tattered. 

A variety of messages and scratches of words engraved on the walls also greeted her, but there were too many to even consider reading them all. Pushing herself forward, Maggie entered the lounge. 

The front of the room was now a large gaping hole allowing anything to come in. A truck had been driven in, and the truck in question had crushed a table and was now sitting vacant in its new house. 

A couple of ragged bodies had been knocked down by the truck. They were discarded like broken china dolls, their eyes vacant. 

Maggie spat on one as she recognised the familiar red cloak Lydia and George had been wearing. 

And she was interrupted by a violent cough from one of the bodies. Turning around, she recognised a familiar face. 

"Bob!" She cried out, and she quickly rushed to his side. He was next to the truck, and Maggie quickly connected the dots. Based on the way the door was left open and Bob himself was leaning against the vehicle, he had been the one who had driven in. 

Along with the scar she had given him, he had many cuts and bruises. One of his eyes was shut down tight, the other flickering open and closing every two seconds. 

"Bob, just hang on. I'll get us out of here, you'll see", she reassured him, "everything is going to be fine, I swear it will be". 

She didn't know who she was trying to kid. 

"Look out", she heard him mutter. Before she could register what he said, she could see the reflection in the broken glass. 

One of the red cloaks was behind her. 

He tried to grab onto her, but Maggie quickly rolled over wincing all the whilst as she lay on broken glass. Red ribbons of blood was trickling every which way from her body. 

The red cloak went to kick her, but once again she rolled away and pushed herself up despite the pain. Reaching for the dagger in her holster, Maggie pounced forward to try and stab him, but she has reacted at the wrong time and he grabbed onto her. 

Slapping her, the man shoved her to the kitchen and Maggie's head banged against the counter. Her world fading, Maggie tried to push herself up once again but the man grabbed onto her hair and helped her up himself. However it was not out of the kindness of his heart that he had done it. 

He shoved her head down the sink and started to bang her head up and down the cool steel. 

Maggie knew this was it. Instead of being at the kitchen, she found herself walking in a field with a baby cradled to her chest. She saw a farm painted with white and love and passion, and she saw the people she needed to be around. 

Beth with her gentle smile and her blonde hair. Shawn with his goofy grin, Annette smiling knowingly at her and her real mother sitting down on a chair, knitting. She turned up and saw her, and a smile broke out. 

And Daddy was also there. He smiled at her like he had smiled at Rick seconds before his own death. And Glenn was before him. 

Maggie felt tears in her eyes. She was finally home. 

And just like that, a gunshot fired and the dream shattered like the million glass fragments of the truck Bob had crashed. 

The red cloak was dead before her, and she was on the floor. Blood and red was everything. 

And as she looked up, she blinked in confusion. 

"Carl?" She asked weakly, and then she passed out.


	12. Resting And Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and the rest recover from their horrific experiences.

She awoke with a stinging sensation. 

Gasping at the sudden intensity of the headache she was currently having, Maggie immediately grasped onto whatever was closest.

It just so happened to be the handles of a bed.

A hospital bed. 

Maggie jerked herself forward and winced in pain and gritted her teeth as her hand tightened onto the handle too tight. 

Her fingers were broken, she saw immediately. Covered in bandages, but broken all the same. 

"Where am I?" She asked herself, and pushed herself from the bed. 

It wasn't like a hospital room, she observed. Sure, there was the bed. But the room was painted all black and purple, and there was a variety of clothes lay astray here and there. 

It was like the typical room of a gothic teenager. 

Maggie fell to the ground after the shock got to her and cried out. She heard footsteps coming from the hallway outside of the bedroom, and she quickly turned her head around. 

Instead of the red cloaks she was expecting to burst in, it was rather a young woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a laboratory cloak as well as a white shirt and blue shorts. 

"Dr. Stevens, Maggie is awake", she cried out. Maggie groaned as the woman approached her. If she was to guess, the woman before her was her age.

"It's okay Maggie, you are fine", the woman was whispering to her comfortably, patting her on the back. It felt alien to be in such a clean room, and to be talked to like a baby from a complete stranger. 

"Where's Carl, Bob?" She groaned as she was helped down onto the bed. Normally she would have been paranoid to the extreme at any hint of new people. 

But these people knew her group's names. And she knew the two of them wouldn't have been foolish enough to reveal themselves to strangers unless they could trust them. 

"Don't worry", Alice smiled a warm and gentle smile to her. "Carl is out with his father at the back of this farm house, and Bob is downstairs". 

"Alice, you called", the man who could only be Dr. Stevens arrived in the room, and he too smiled at her. "Ah, Maggie is it. My name is Patrick Stevens and this here is my assistant Alice Warren. You had a big scare a month ago". 

The words caused her to blink rapidly, and she started to splutter in disbelief. "A month?" She asked weakly. 

"A month", Alice nodded to confirm what Patrick had said. "You passed out after in that horrid house. I was also there, they had captured me when I was out trying to steal some supplies. Bob and Carl saved the day though, and here we all are". 

It all came rushing back to her. The basement. Lydia and George. The brutal fight in the kitchen, a truck crashing and Carl shooting the gun. 

Innocence lost. 

"You said Rick was here?" Maggie asked. "Did he get to the others fine? How is Bob's injuries, and is Carl okay?" She had a million and one questions, and they all needed answering as fast as possible. 

"They..." Alice hesitated. Patrick laid his hand on her comfortably and turned around to face Maggie directly. 

"They're fine Maggie. But they did experience some injuries, lifetime like. Bob will be forever scarred across the face". 

It felt like a weight off her shoulders had been released. Maggie felt bad for scarring him, but he was still alive at least. 

Not like Sasha. She had failed her, but she had saved him. 

"Rick, I'm afraid he won't gain back what he lost", Patrick continued. Maggie felt her breath catch in her throat. 

"What do you mean?" She was afraid to ask, but she needed to know. 

"He-", Patrick looked to the ground before looking at her again. "I'm sorry Maggie, but that cult chopped off his hand. If it wasn't for Alice here, he would have died. Luckily she was though". 

Maggie felt sick. She and Rick had been at odds for a long time now despite trying to mend their relationship, but she never wished him harm. 

As if he didn't suffer enough. 

"I need to see him", Maggie tried to push herself up but Alice pushed her down and back onto the bed. 

"Maggie, you need rest. You were out for a month, it puts too much stress on you to be up and walking", Alice said but not unkindly. 

"Please, I've rested enough then", Maggie tried to push herself back up, but Dr. Stevens helped Alice this time. 

"I'm just going to give you this", Dr. Stevens was muttering under his breath. Maggie didn't know what was going on, but suddenly the calm she was feeling before transformed into something else. 

Terror. They weren't letting her see the rest. They weren't even letting her leave the room. 

She could remember a time when she was in a dark chamber cold and shivering as the man before her softly touched her, whispering into her ears as if they were lovers caught up in a grand affair. 

Only they weren't. No matter how she tried to push away, he held onto her tightly. He didn't let her go, not ever. 

The man who had killed her father. 

She didn't even know if he was alive or dead. 

And it was with that, she felt sleep arriving and despite her best efforts, she let it take her.

\--- 

She was behind the gates alongside Beth and Bob. Daryl had passed her on am assault gun, and she held onto it tightly. 

There was tension in the air. She could feel it. And her own heart was racing. 

Rick was in front of them in a distance away, talking with the man who has caused so much misery for them all. The man who violated her, the man who had killed many of their friends, the man who had threatened their way of living. 

The Governor. 

He had a whole army behind him. With half their community ill, a quarter unable to defend themselves and only the rest could fight, Maggie knew they were outmatched in almost every which way. 

And the Governor had her father. And Michonne. 

She could see the threat from here. The katana in the Governor's hand. Her daddy was trying to be calm, she could tell from here. The way he smiled nervously and he held his head up high. 

They could get out of this, she thought. Grabbing onto Beth's hand, both sisters held out in hope that they would get out of this. 

They would. Glenn had been close to dying the other night, and she had saved him with a single squeeze on the trigger. Sasha and the rest had nearly died without her daddy. They would all have died if Rick and Carl didn't stop the herd. 

It's what they would do. What they've always done. No matter what shit was flung their way, they always got out of it alive. 

"Because we get to come back", she heard Rick plead, pouring his heart and soul into the words that came out of his mouth. 

Everything rested on him. Maggie saw the Governor hesitate, almost dropping the katana in disbelief. 

Her heart was in her mouth. Could Rick have done it? 

And then the Governor whispered something inaudible, and with the swing of Michonne's sword struck hard and true at the man before him. 

She could remember screaming. 

The world shattered into a million and one fragments of memories, of her daddy taking her to school and presenting little Beth to her. Of dancing with Annette and feeding the horses. 

All of it gone in a single strike. 

It wasn't fair. 

And without even hesitating she pulled the gun up and began firing. Bullets flew and her gun wasn't the only one. 

War had begun. 

And what followed was absolute chaos. 

With bullets flying and people dropping like flies around her, Maggie didn't know what to do but just keep on firing as much as she could. 

They were too late to save Michonne. The most horrible thing was after her father had fallen to the ground dead to the world, she had been the next target. 

Killed by her own sword. 

"Come on", she shouted at Beth as the tank drove through the fences and the soldiers came through, their guns in hand and firing away. 

Rick was cornered, she saw immediately. Everything was lost now. Daddy was dead as was Michonne. Their leader was just about to die in seconds now. 

But she could save Beth, and Glenn. 

She mustn't think about anything else. 

And that is exactly what she did. Running through the yard constantly turning around and firing her gun. "We've all got jobs to do", was the last thing she had told her sister after directing her to the bus. 

And so she made the decision to leave the bus and find her sister. 

Only Beth or Patricia were nowhere to be found. Instead she found Bob and Sasha, the former somebody she barely knew and the latter one of the council leaders.

The bus has driven away with Glenn inside. Bullets fired to the side and even hit the glass windows shattering them but it pressed on. 

They had been left behind, and with no choice they were forced to leave their home behind to be overtaken by the dead. 

Not once did she think of her father after his death. She focused on protecting her family. She had gotten her husband away. 

But her sister was nowhere to be seen amongst the chaos. But Sasha said, "we'll figure it out", and Maggie agreed. The three of them abandoned their fighting to protect their home and left her sister behind. 

It was the hardest thing she ever had to do. 

\--- 

She could feel the sun on her, and she awoke. 

The sun was filtering through the windows, and Maggie noticed that once again she was in the same room as before with Alice and Patrick. 

Only they weren't in the room this time. Bob was. 

"Bob?" Maggie's asked weakly, just to make sure. After adjusting to the sight before her, she noticed the scar carved across his face as well as a variety of other cuts and scratches. 

She had done that. 

"Maggie, it's okay", he reached out with his arm and Maggie leaned back so he couldn't touch her. 

"No it's not", Maggie found herself saying. "I did that to you, that scar. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done it. I don't even know, ho-". 

"Calm down", Bob laughed at her. "It's fine, really. Makes me look scary". 

They fell into a silence. 

"It's not okay", Maggie said after a while. "After Sasha, and now I've done this to you? It's not right". 

"Maggie", Bob this time did reach out with his hand and took ahold of hers. "I'm alive, you didn't kill me". 

And she was back in a different time again. 

Backed into a corner she pulled the trigger and the bullet let loose, and struck the back of Tara's skull. 

Breathing heavy and haggard from the fight, she stepped over Oscar and let go of the rock. 

Beholding the sight of Sasha dying from blood loss and apologising over and over to Tyreese whilst she sat there unable to move. 

She didn't kill Bob this time, which made a change. 

"I suppose", Maggie replied but the tone of her voice still full with regret. 

"What happened?" Maggie asked to change the subject. The silence was getting to her. 

She needed to be out there doing something. Anything. Killing walkers made her feel alive in ways that scared her. 

It was like a drug to her. 

And it was a lot better than being confined here to this bed and room. 

"Carl managed to patch me up", Bob chuckled softly. "Don't know how he managed it but he did. We tried to find you, and we saw the candles in that house. I told Carl to stay back. 

I needed to get you, Maggie. You've done a lot for this group, don't ever forget that. It was payback I suppose. Me helping you like you've helped me. Sasha". 

The word hung heavy between them, but he carried on. 

"And it isn't just that either. It's pretty selfish but I can't deal with a child on my own, out there. I know Carl can take care of himself". 

And it all came flooding back. The sink in the kitchen. Dozing out in the floor. About to be finished off for good. 

Only it didn't happen. Carl had shot the gun, and the red cloak before her to his death. 

"He can", Maggie agreed. "But I know what you mean. He needs emotional support out there, he's needed it since the prison". 

"Right", Bob sighed. "I sort of blacked out but I woke up the next day in this house. Alice, you see, she was a prisoner there too. Patrick knew she was, and he was preparing to rescue her himself. He was just planning ahead, but apparently I sort of made things easier for him. 

They found Rick upstairs. Alice managed to save him from bleeding out, wait, do you know?" He asked her. Maggie nodded. 

She remembered back in the days when they were at the prison and the Governor hadn't arrived for the final time and tore everything away. She was mostly on lookout duty but on her days off she had helped Beth reading books to the children when Carol couldn't. 

It was Molly if she remembered correctly that whispered to Mica often enough that Rick Grimes was indestructible. There had been a council in place, but there were stories all the same. How Rick took this place from the dead and made it possible to live in. 

He was a hero to him. 

Maggie didn't imagine they would have expected him to have been so vulnerable as he was now. 

"They just took us here. Patrick helped me with the scar, and we fed you through tubes. It's been like a month since you passed out. It's insane. But things are good here. Rick is getting used to his stump, and Carl seems to be okay now". 

"And you?" Maggie asked. "Bob, you were drinking non-stop since that day at the mall. You always kept that bottle with you. Have you stopped?" 

Bob looked down at the floor. Maggie could tell there was a possible try he could break down crying. 

But he looked up and answered, "Yes I have Maggie. They haven't got anything here for me to drink, and that's great. I think I can move on now. It wasn't easy, but I'm at that place". 

Maggie could still feel the hole in her heart from the second Annette had bled out through the bed sheets as the bite got to her. How Shawn had stumbled forward, his arms reaching out. It wasn't him anymore. How the sword had struck out and sliced into her daddy's neck, and how they had carried Beth and later Glenn out of the hospital. 

She could never move on. 

"That's great", Maggie forced a smile. "How's Carl?" 

"He's quite distant and-". 

And so they continued their conversation as friends instead of comrades in to war torn world. It felt good to really have the break, Maggie found. The distraction that the conversation provided. 

"Where exactly are we?" Maggie asked. 

Bob grinned. "A farmhouse. It was quite a while away from that neighbourhood. Alice was worried Rick was going to bleed out, but we made it". 

Maggie pushed herself from the bed and Bob helped her up. "I'm fine", Maggie gritted her teeth. It felt good to be out of the bed, but she also felt a little uncomfortable. 

"Oh good you are awake", she heard Alice say. Maggie turned to face the woman who had saved her life. Her friend's life. 

"Thank you Alice", Maggie told her earnestly. "For helping me, and Rick. Bob too". 

"Nah don't mention it", Alice grinned and she went over to the bed and sorted out the sheets. "But I need you to take a look at this mirror". 

Rustling through the wardrobe, Alice pulled out a mirror after what seemed like a eternity of searching. She held it up so Maggie could stare. 

"The scars will fade in time", Alice told her. 

Maggie felt horrid. Cuts and scratches scarred her face like it did Bob's. 

The face that Glenn had fallen in love with was no more. 

"Are you okay Maggie?" Bob asked her. Maggie continued looking at the mirror. 

This was the price she paid in getting out of that house alive. 

It was a small price. 

"I'm fine", Maggie told him. "Can I go outside? I need some air". 

She was allowed, and she crept downstairs. She saw Patrick in the kitchen having a glass of orange juice, something she hadn't seen in a long time. 

The whole setup reminded her of her father's house many years ago. Their house that had been in the family for generations. The room she had just been in reminded her of her own when she was young and constantly pushed the boundaries. Between shop-lifting and smoking, she had created a whole new look for herself. 

Now here she was. 

Pushing through the front door, the sight before her took her breath away. 

She was back at the farm, her farm. The grass rustled softly as the sun shone overhead. There was a chill in the air, and Maggie remembered she had been out for a month. 

It must have been around November then. 

And Rick was standing there in front of her, looking out at the fields. 

She noticed the missing hand immediately. His right one. The one he had used for his gun. For any melee weapon he could get his hands on. Be it a machete or an axe. 

To her credit she didn't flinch. 

"Rick", she called out. Rick turned around, and he smiled at her. Maggie could see the bags under his eyes from here. 

"Come here, Maggie", he told her and she did. Standing besides him the two of them stood there for a while, taking and drinking in the beautiful scenery before them. 

They could be forgiven for thinking all was right in the world. 

Except that it wasn't. The proof was there next to her. 

"Patrick patched me up", Rick told her. "Alice too. They seem like good enough people. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be there". 

"I know", Maggie shivered as the breeze came and went. 

"How do you feel?" She asked the question that they both knew was coming. 

Rick chuckled, with a slight hint of bitterness in the sound. "I'm good", he told her. "No, really. Carl is still the same as ever, distant and afraid of his own shadow. I can't even fucking aim and shoot my gun now". 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked", Maggie shook her head. "It was a stupid question". 

"Just a bit". 

"Hey", Maggie scoffed. "You asked the same thing after-" 

The conversation died down. It was still a painful memory. It was as cold as the steel that had entered Glenn's ribcage. 

"You were right, you know", Rick carried on. Once a man who appreciated the silence, now he did anything to avoid it. "We shouldn't have tried to go to Washington. It was fucking stupid of me. What was I thinking?" 

Maggie shook her head and counter argued. "You can't say that Rick. I didn't agree with you and I only went for Carl anyway. But the likelihood is we would have ran into trouble anyway. I know it. You know it. We've always have. And you will get through this". 

"How?" He asked her. This time there was a hint of something else in his voice. 

Vulnerability. 

"Because it's what we always do, what you always do. You got through everything and you kept going to keep the group safe, to keep your family safe. Sure, you can't shoot a gun now. But that doesn't mean it's the end. I'm sure I can help you practice with your left hand", Maggie found herself rambling, but she didn't care. 

All that mattered was that Rick remained strong. Because a selfish part of her was tired of being strong, to always keep going. 

She needed somebody else to be strong, to carry and lead the group. 

Right now she just didn't find it in her to lead the group. 

"I suppose you are right", Rick sighed. "But what are we going to do Maggie? We can't stay here forever. We all know how vulnerable a place like this is to the walkers". 

Maggie recalled a night where it was beyond freezing and the dead were everywhere. Where she had screamed in horror as they surrounded the car, and how she had driven away from her childhood home forever. 

Not knowing if her family had made it out alive. 

"And I suppose Alice and Patrick won't be wanting us here forever", Rick continued on. 

"What makes you say that? Did you tell them about Washington?" Maggie asked. 

Rick shook his head. "I see no point now. We aren't going, no point getting other peoples' hopes up for nothing". 

What Maggie said next shocked even herself. 

"Bullshit", the words left her lips. Rick jerked up in surprised, and Maggie blinked herself. 

"Rick, you said it yourself. This place is vulnerable for the walkers. And people too. We can't stay here forever, and as much as I hate the place, it does give us a purpose. You were right Rick, don't ever doubt yourself. 

And I have no problem staying here for the next couple of months if Alice and Patrick allow it. Winter is just around the corner and we know what that can be like. But after that, we do start heading there". 

Rick looked at her strangely. "Are you sure they didn't kidnap the real Maggie Greene and replaced an imposter?" He asked her. 

Maggie found herself grinning for the first time in a long time.

"I'm sure", she continued. "Look Rick, you said it yourself. Carl is distant. I don't want that. Bob is finally getting over Sasha and has turned his back on the drink. Not having a purpose in his life could push him back towards it again. We've lost so many people too, and if we tell Alice and Patrick about it maybe they can join us. We need the numbers". 

Rick found himself nodding along. "Maggie, thanks", he told her. 

"For what?" 

"For helping me forget, with this", he pointed towards the stump. "We'll talk to them about it this evening. See how long we can reasonably last here and plan ahead. And this time we will get there". 

Maggie nodded her head fiercely. "We will", she told him. 

"I'm going inside now, I've had enough. You coming?" He asked her. Maggie shook her head. "A couple of minutes", and with that he was off after being satisfied at her answer. 

She didn't know why she was saying all of it, but she found a purpose here being in a place that reminded her of her daddy and her childhood home. 

Carl had saved her, and she was going to save him. She hoped that she had given Rick some confidence back too. God knows he needed it, if they were going to survive this trip. 

And she supposed she did need to move on at some point. Maybe getting there will help her reach a conclusion in her life. 

Turning around she went to the door, and she looked up briefly to see Carl looking at her from the window. She smiled at him, but he didn't smile back. He turned around and drew the curtains. 

"I will save him", she found herself muttering. "I will".


	13. Wine And Chains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie seizes the opportunity to truly relax in the farm.

\--- 

It had been a week since she got back on her feet, and it had been the most calm week she had in a long time. 

With working water, Maggie found herself doing the dishes for the first time in what felt like years. The hot soapy water kept her hands warm, and even though it started to burn here and there she didn't mind one bit. 

"Enjoying that?" She heard Alice ask her, and Maggie smiled fondly as she looked out the window. 

"I never thought I would miss this", Maggie told her as she started to scrub at the plate before putting it to the side. Alice took a dish towel and started to dry the plate. 

"The dishes?" Alice asked, and Maggie nodded her head. "Yep. I used to hate doing them before. Who didn't? I always used to make Beth do them, so long as my daddy wasn't looking". 

Alice chuckled at her answer. "That sounds like me and my sister. Penelope, her name was. She was always bossing me about, the big older sister who didn't want to do the chores. I was there for that, you see". 

Both women laughed as they continued on with their chores. Normally it was Patrick and Bob who did the dishes, but Maggie wanted to contribute and Alice found the time to finally do it this time. 

"How's the experiment going?" Maggie asked as she focused on scrubbing the dirt away from a glass. 

"Okay", Alice sighed as she looked out the window. "I know Rick doesn't agree with it. I'm not even sure if I agree with it. But we need to know these things Maggie. They can't just be dead, you know?" 

Maggie bit her tongue. She had been through this conversation multiple times and didn't want to start it up again. 

Dead was dead. She and her family had been taught that harsh lesson a couple of years ago. 

It took cold hard evidence to convince them that the dead were never coming back. And the fact that Alice and Patrick had one walker chained at the backyard, taking notes and trying to break it from its "spell"...

"I never asked you", Maggie handed Alice the glass before taking on the pot. "How did you and Patrick meet? You know all about us, from what Bob has told you and I still feel like I hardly know you". 

Alice chuckled slightly. "It's a long story". 

"I've got time", Maggie told her earnestly. "It's all we've got the now, until winter is over with anyway and then we go to Washington". 

Alice sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you after we do this and we have a glass of red". 

"Okay". 

The two worked in silence and in harmony, and they got the job done. 

Alice opened the cupboard door and grabbed onto the bottle of red wine, and Maggie took two glasses Alice had dried. The two left the kitchen and past the lounge. From what Maggie could see, Bob and Patrick were playing cards and Rick was reading an old book. 

"Let's go to my room, get some privacy", Alice told her. Maggie followed the woman up the stairs and they entered that room. 

To be honest, the room was a cluttered mess made up of notes, documents, books and God knows what. There was enough room for the two to sit down besides the bed, and Alice poured the wine into the glasses. 

"I'm glad I never showed Bob this", Alice told Maggie as she handed the glass over. "After what you told me about him being an alcoholic". 

"I understand", Maggie sipped the wine. "He was a mess after... You know". Looking out the window, Maggie noticed the stars were out and truly alive. 

"He lost somebody, I know that much", Alice took a sip herself. "And these days we do whatever we can to just, forget". 

"Yeah", Maggie whispered softly. The days after Hershel had been some of the worst in her life. How much energy she had poured into killing the dead around her. It was unreal. 

And after Beth and Glenn, it had taken a turn for the worst. She could barely keep track of what she had actually been through since then. 

All she knew that it started with a gun firing, and a man she blamed falling to his death. 

"Anyway, I suppose you want to know how me and Patrick met up?" Alice asked her before gulping down her wine. Maggie nodded, but then she added, "You don't need to tell me if you don't want to Alice. I'm just curious". 

"No no, it's fine". Alice was almost finished her glass, Maggie noticed. She refilled the glass. Looking at her own, Maggie realised she had only taken a sip. 

"I was at a college course for fashion, you see", Alice was waving her arms about with the glass. If Maggie didn't know any better she would have thought Alice had been drinking already. 

But it was not the case she knew. She only had one glass of wine. 

"And the government ordered us all to go there for protection, when the biters hit. It was okay at first. I didn't mind. My mum and Penelope went with me, and we all hoped things would work out". 

Alice laughed bitterly then. "It didn't. I don't even know how it happened, but the fuckers got in somehow. I saw all my friends die around me. My mum, I don't even know what happened to her". 

The tears started to glisten then, and Maggie reached out with her hand for support. "Alice, I've told you before, you don't need to go on if you don't want to". 

Alice looked down at the ground. She said, "I need to Maggie. Patrick doesn't even know, and I've kept it to myself for far too long". 

"But why me?" Maggie challenged. "You only know me for a week Alice". 

Alice looked at her sadly. "Because Bob told us what you have all went through. Not everything, but enough. You know how it feels to have lost everything. And Patrick, he's a closed book at the best of times. I don't know anything about him". 

Maggie was startled at this. "But you've been living here for a long while, I take it. Enough to get the water up and running at least". 

Alice nodded. "Yeah. But he is very secretive about his past. Me and Penelope met him after escaping the college. We were about to get eaten, but he just knocked the monsters down with that RV he had and that was us". 

Maggie could remember a similar tale, of two sisters who had been helped by an elderly man driving an RV. She had never met the younger sister but Glenn had told her all about her, and she knew Andrea and Dale enough to have actually clashed with the pair of them on separate occasions.

They were all dead. Buried in the ground. One in a quarry outside Atlanta. The other outside her own farmhouse. And last but not least, Andrea had been returned to them a body at the hands of the Governor. 

Maggie had dug the grave herself, she recalled. Alongside Glenn, Daryl and Michonne. It was bitter that they had lost a woman who tried everything to have stopped the war having any more causalities. 

But it was also the start of a new day. A new hope. A chance to move on from the horrors and focus on the future. Andrea's death had brought them a community full of people who no longer cowered under the shadow of their tyrant leader. 

It was all gone now. It was all for nothing. 

Maggie gulped down her wine. 

"We just traveled, I suppose", Alice continued on saying. "We found this place, a town. It was nice enough I suppose, there were walls and people. But one day we just left. I don't even know why, but Patrick didn't trust the leader. I owed him so much at this point that I traveled with him". 

Maggie noticed the hesitation in her voice, and encouraged, "But". 

Alice laughed nervously and downed the wine once again. "But Penelope didn't want to come, you see. She was in love with the leader, or so she thought. She was only fourteen Maggie. Fourteen. 

I packed all of our things. Whether she liked it or not, we were leaving that place. But she told the leader, snuck away in the middle of the night. Little animal". 

She put the glass down now and looked out of the window sadly. "They came at us in the middle of the night. Patrick got battered, and they threatened to do things to me". 

Horrified, Maggie could remember a chamber where she had been bent down over the table, with a man above her. Whispering words into her ear. 

"It's okay darling. It's okay". 

It was not okay. 

Reaching out, Maggie hugged Alice tightly. "It's okay, it's okay", she whispered softly as Alice sobbed into her chest. 

"Penelope saw what happened, and she changed her mind", Alice continued to blab on. "She pleaded with the leader to let us go. He took her up on her offer and said we were free to go, but Patrick had to fight to the death with one of his prisoners". 

Maggie had a feeling where this was going. "He won, didn't he", Maggie spoke the words and Alice nodded. 

"We were allowed to go, but not Penelope. That wasn't part of the deal, you see. We did leave and never looked back. I feel like such a coward. Here I am living in this fucking farm where she's-". 

Maggie shushed her as she started to sob more into her chest. "It's okay", she whispered. "It's okay". 

Maggie felt like she was in this position for hours, but in reality it had only been minutes. She heard Alice snoring softly, and Maggie gently let go of her and placed the nearest pillow under her head. She grabbed the duvet of the bed and placed it over her. 

She walked out of the room and to her own. 

\--- 

"That's it", Maggie encouraged. Rick gritted his teeth as he concentrated, the gun held by his left hand and trying to aim the weapon at a couple of coca-cola cans from a distance away. 

Rick pulled the trigger, but missed and hit the fence. 

Still, it was close enough. 

"Fuck", Rick cursed as he placed the gun in his holster, although it took him much longer than it used to, to be able to do it. 

"It's only natural", Maggie reminded him. "You've never used your left hand for if before. Two hands yes, right hand only sometimes. But when all you've got is your left hand, it's going to take a long time". 

It was the wrong thing to say. 

"Don't treat me like a child", he snarled at her. Maggie felt as if she had just been punched in the gut, the words stinging harsher than expected. 

Then she felt just as angry. 

"Then you can do it yourself", she told him and started to walk away. Rick called out apologising, but Maggie didn't look at him. 

Entering the kitchen, the first thing she saw was Carl sitting at the table drinking a glass of orange juice. 

"Are you okay Carl?" Maggie asked, trying to keep her thoughts off her less than pleasant exchange with Rick. 

He shook his head and stared into space. 

He had been like this ever since she had awoken three weeks ago. Had been since that horrid house, Bob had told her. 

But Maggie understood why. He had killed the red cloak assaulting her, and it must have drawn him back into his shell. 

And she'd been making some excellent progress with him before. The yo-yo had nearly done the trick. But that was gone now along with everything else. 

"Look Carl", she drew up a chair and sat next to him. "You shouldn't blame yourself for killing him back there. The man was a threat to me, a threat to you, a threat to us all. If you didn't do what you did, we would all be dead". 

He turned around to look at her, really look at her. Blue eyes burned into green. 

"But I killed someone. I told myself I wouldn't do it again, not after Jud-. Not ever. I shouldn't have done it", and with that he pushed the chair back and ran upstairs. 

Maggie sighed and placed her hands over her face. "For fuck sake", she muttered to herself. 

Rick entered the house. A chill came through the door and Maggie shivered despite herself. 

"Look, I'm sorry", he apologised and he sat down on the seat Carl previously occupied. 

"It's quite alright", Maggie said with a touch of bitterness. Rick looked at her with pleading eyes. "Come on Maggie, I'm just frustrated at it all. We will be away from this place before we know it, and I won't be able to defend myself". 

"That's not true", Maggie told him. "Sure, you aren't as good as a gun like you used to be, but that axe Patrick gave you. You are fine with it. Just kick the walkers down and strike them on the head. You've done alright with that, and so long as you can do that, you'll be fine". 

"But it's not just walkers out there, is it", Rick counter-argued. It was very Rick-like to have thought of everything and come up with a smart ass remark. 

"Like I said though, you aren't totally awful", Maggie pressed on. "You are doing just fine. Don't doubt yourself and just do what you've been doing. It will get better. It's only natural you don't get everything right the first place". 

Rick took in what she said, and nodded. Changing the subject, he approached another that hung heavy between them. 

"Talked to Patrick yet?" He asked her. 

Maggie shook her head. Alice she had told and talked to, but never Patrick. 

"Maggie, you are more closer to them than I am. I don't feel comfortable around them, even though they did save my life. You've convinced me we need to go to this place, and even though Alice agreed, we need that one extra body. We are never going to make it with just the five of us". 

Maggie grabbed onto the glass of orange juice Carl had left behind and picked it up and pushed herself from the table. "I'll talk to him about it tomorrow morning". 

"Good", Rick smiled at her then. "Thanks for being there and helping me. And Carl, I suppose. And doing all of this". 

"Don't mention it", and with that Maggie went upstairs to give Carl his orange juice. 

Before she left though, she turned around to face Rick. "How many weeks do you think we'll have of this place?" She asked him. 

Rick sighed and twiddled his thumbs. "Give it four weeks or so. It's the middle of December and it'll be two weeks after new year". 

\--- 

"Fascinating, isn't it?" This was Patrick's way of greeting her as she walked up besides him. 

"If you say so", she remarked dryly. 

The snarls of the creature before her was constantly a source of annoyance. Three weeks since she had gotten up on her feet, and it was all she could hear. 

Whether it be picking the fields or trying to read a book. Drinking wine with Alice or playing cards with Bob. 

The walker chained up in the backyard still reminded them that the world out there wasn't as perfect as they were pretending it to be. 

The whole setup was too close to home, Maggie thought as she looked at the walker. Its milky white eyes betrayed its hunger and desire to eat the people before them. 

It had been a couple of years ago since she believed things could get better, for the living and the ill. Now she knew they weren't ill at all. 

Only dead. 

"It just does not give up", Patrick continued to remark. He was taking down notes on his notepad. "I would like to find out why it can't give up. We've had this one for months and still not even a clue". 

Maggie allowed him to ramble on. She was waiting on the perfect time to bring up the subject Rick had asked her to do. 

"I wish I had more resources. A chain and some note taking isn't going to do it, you know", he chuckled slightly. 

Maggie seized the moment. 

"Patrick, I need to tell you something". 

Patrick looked up at her in surprise. "Oh forgive my manners. I'm sorry Maggie for going on like that. I te-". 

"It's quite alright, really", Maggie smiled warmly at him. She liked the man, she decided. No matter how odd he seemed. 

Although there was a sense of familiarity she didn't like. A similar man who was too intelligent for his own good. 

And also a very excellent liar. The man who had brought her on the journey to Washington in the first place. 

She mustn't think that, she told herself fiercely. She needed to remain strong for the group to arrive to Washington. To find Abraham and his group, if at all possible. 

Find anything. Georgia belonged to the dead now. Virginia was a good place to check than any. 

It gave them purpose. And she hoped it gave Patrick purpose too. 

"Patrick, after we leave, we are going to try out to go to Washington", Maggie didn't beat about the bush. "I know you are wanting to stay here, since it's isolated from everywhere else. 

But we need this place. And we need more than four people to go there. We've lost so much getting here, and we will lose more if we don't have more numbers. I've already talked to Alice about it". 

The walker continued to snarl, and Patrick tutted. 

"But why Washington?" He asked her. "What makes that so special? And why would Alice not say anything to me", he sounded hurt. 

Maggie felt sorry for him, but as she looked at the walker she found the words coming out easy and natural to say. 

"Patrick you've talked to us for the past three weeks now going on about wanting to find a cure for the walkers. To heal them, somehow. This can be your chance. Where is it likely to be such a place more likely than the capital itself", Maggie kept thinking of Eugene as she said the words, but she pushed on anyway. 

She needed Patrick in a way she never needed Eugene. Eugene was an drug, a escape from whatever fate her sister was suffering. 

But Patrick was the key to finally move on. 

"I suppose", Patrick muttered. "But what about this one here?" He asked. "We can't just leave it". 

Thinking of Shane pulling the trigger multiple times on a dozen of walkers and her daddy's reaction to that, Maggie knew it was wise not to kill the monster on the spot. 

But she felt giddy that he was coming around. 

"You know they are dangerous Patrick", Maggie said. Patrick nodded. It wasn't a question, and even he knew that. 

He wasn't like her daddy in that way. 

"Just keep it locked up in chains for now. We'll deal with it once we leave", Maggie patted him on the shoulder. "I thank you Patrick, for agreeing to come. We'll leave two weeks after the new year". 

And she walked into the house smiling, everything falling into place. 

\--- 

The four weeks came and went. 

Maggie groaned as she woke to the sound of the birds chirping outside. Getting up was a struggle, but she managed it. 

A knock on the door occurred, and Maggie told them to enter. 

Bob entered and he whistled at her. Maggie glared at him, but he ignored her and moved on to the wardrobe and started to pile out the clothes. 

"Scrapping this house for every bit of its worth", he told her. Maggie nodded, and looked at the duvet before her. 

Patrick's RV would house most of it surely. She hoped anyway. And even though it was unlikely, she also hoped they didn't have to abandon the vehicle either. 

No way would she be able to carry the comfy duvet about. 

Bob found himself pausing, and Maggie turned around to see what distracted him. 

"What is it?" She asked Bob. 

Bob smiled sadly, and he lifted up a CD. "Sasha told me this was her favourite album". 

Maggie forced a smile and turned around. "Okay, I'll get this duvet into the RV. I'll help you with the rest of the house after", she tried to make sure her voice didn't crack. 

She thought she'd moved on. But this period of peace also reminded her of the mall. The four days they had spent there. 

"Maggie, I've told you a thousand times. It wasn't your fault". 

Maggie closed her eyes. Looking at the mirror on the wall, she stared at her reflection. She didn't wear any comfortable bedtime clothes. Even now she still slept with one eye open, ready to run in the night if need be. 

"I know", and with that she went down. 

But before she left the door, Bob stopped her again. "What were her last words?" Bob asked her. Maggie could see tears beginning to glisten in his eyes. "I've been wondering, and I need to know. I've cut out the drink, but I need to know this. It might help me, you know?" 

Maggie could remember the words she had spoken, and they had caught in her mouth. 

After a period of silence, she allowed them to escape. 

"She said she was sorry. At Tyreese", Maggie looked down at the floor. 

"Oh", Bob muttered. 

Maggie made to leave, but Bob said the words that they had all avoided. Truth be told she had forgotten all about it since the mall, but it had been the elephant in the room when Sasha had still been alive. 

"I wonder where he is now. I wonder if he knows that Sasha was truly sorry".


	14. Jeeps And Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group focus on getting to Washington despite the odds.

The moans of the dead were hot on the trail she left behind, but right now all she focused on was making sure the jeep didn't slip on the mud and got stuck, or worse. 

Pushing the pedal down, Maggie looked through the mirrors to see the horde of walkers were still trying to get to her. Their hands were out in the air, waving forward as if they were part of a concert. 

"Come on, come on", she found herself muttering under her breath. She had to do this. It had to work, no matter what. 

It didn't.

Like she had predicted, the wheel got stuck on the mud. No matter how hard she tried, how she pushed the pedals down in frustration, the truck was stuck. Motionless. Trapped.

And so was she. 

Quickly grabbing onto the machete besides her, Maggie pushed open the door of the jeep and jumped out of the car. Her hands met the muddy fields as did her knees, but she had grown up in a farm. Dirt didn't bother her, but certain death did. 

And she wasn't planning on dying today. Nor any days for that matter. This journey had given her a purpose. Something she would never thought possible of again, especially since it was the same journey that had destroyed everything she held dear and what kept her going. 

Pushing herself up and off she went. The dead continued to moan and shamble their way forwards, their stench spreading the smell of shit and disease. 

There was a couple of walkers ahead of her. They had turned around to see the commotion, and they saw the first piece of meat they had seen in weeks, possibly even months. Without even pausing for breath, Maggie slashed and struck her way through the path. 

Blood was now splattered on her, but once again she pushed on. Killing walkers hadn't bothered her in a long time. It wasn't going to stop now. 

After finally reaching the edge of the field, Maggie turned around to see the horde still on their way. Despite the jeep being out of service now, she could still get to the others. Their mission still succeeded. 

\--- 

"There's too many of them", Alice had hissed behind the overturned tables and desks. "We can never get the RV up and started then drive off. We would be surrounded in minutes". 

Bob agreed. "She's right Rick. I can count about a hundred of them here. There's simply too many". 

Maggie was silent and taking in the words. Bob and Alice were not wrong in the slightest. Outside of a gas station in the middle of nowhere, the RV had broken down. Patrick in his own awkward way had made the joke of how convenient that was, how lucky they were. 

He had been wrong. Patrick knew how to fix the RV up which was a blessing, but the problem had been that a herd had been waiting in the shadows. 

It was just as lucky they weren't found yet. But now here they were, whispering and arguing over what to do. 

"I say we abandon the RV", Patrick was arguing. "I know how to fix it, that's true. But it's not worth the risk dying for". 

Surprisingly Rick had agreed with him on the matter. 

"I've lost too many people, I can't afford to lose any more", he was saying. "Taking on a hundred of these? No, it's not right. How are we even going to lure them away, and what if that lure doesn't work? I need to think about my son here, and this puts him in danger just as much as it does with all of you". 

Maggie found herself speaking. She'd been quite on the matter, taking things in. Planning ahead. It was a shitty idea that could get her killed. 

But shitty ideas was all she had, that and getting to Washington. Losing that RV might have more consequences than facing a hundred or even a thousand walkers. 

"There's a Jeep", she had pointed out. "As far as I can tell the car keys are still in there. Hopefully some gas. And if so, we could drive it and lure the walkers away. Whoever stays behind can fix the RV up, and just wait for the others to come back". 

It was risky and dangerous, but it needed to be done. 

"We?" Patrick sounded as if the very thought was akin to suggesting one of them walking up to the herd and allowing themselves to be eaten so the others could make their escape. 

"Me then", Maggie replied with a tone of irritation. She had her doubts that this man had truly won in a fight to the death like Alice had told her that night three months back. 

"Maggie you can't do this alone", Rick warned her. "You're going to need people with you. And from where I'm standing, only Bob and Alice will help you". 

"I'll do it in a heartbeat", Bob had replied. Alice seemed to shy away, but after a few seconds she nodded her head. "Whatever you need". 

"No", Maggie started to grind her teeth at this point. It was a habit she picked up on the road, and she didn't know if she could give it up. "I'm sorry, but I'm not risking anybody in this. Like Rick said, too many people have died. And I did come up with the plan. If we were to die, that blood would be on my hands". 

"You're a crazy girl, you know that", Bob told her. Maggie tried to smile, but it didn't quite catch her eyes. 

And why not? They were starving and the harsh realities of the road came flooding back. It seemed like years ago since they were at the farm, and eons ago when they settled down at the mall. 

How so much had happened since then. 

\--- 

She continued to run up north. The walkers were following her no doubt. She would reach the forests, turn east and be back on the main road again. Find a car if possible, and drive back to the gas station. 

Easier said than done. 

As she reached a point where she could feel like she could jog in order to gather her thoughts and catch her breath, Maggie thought about the past six weeks since they left the farm. 

Things had been going okay for the first couple of weeks. The food from the farm kept them going. There was little trouble they had ran into. Patrick kept talking his notes about the walkers and Alice reminded her of a mixture between Beth and Sasha. There was a sort of youthness towards her that she liked, but she could take care of herself when need be. 

Another lifetime ago she would have hated Alice for that. Reminding her of the blonde girl who sang to pass the time and wanted to know so much about the world outside of the little farm house. 

But that was a lifetime ago. Things had changed. She'd been given a purpose. Get to Washington, no matter what. 

But things had taken a turn for the worse in the third week. They had run into a lot more walkers. Rick's disability didn't help matters. He was decent with the axe, but his aim nor grip wasn't perfect and he had a fair share of close calls. 

Carl if it was even possible had turned more sullen and angry at the world. He had cut the strings off a yo-yo she had given him in act of defiance and seemed to blame her for the belt Rick had landed him. 

Even after all the things he'd been through, he was never too old to never be punished for being a bratty kid. 

Still, Maggie couldn't blame him. She had been through that stage herself, and God only knows how it used to drive her father like crazy. And after everything that had happened. Losing his mother and sister, all the people that had cared for him, the places they had been to... 

Maggie feared that even if they did find the perfect place at Washington, Carl wouldn't be able to move on. 

By the fourth and fifth week they were living off scraps. Only Bob seemed to be a source of optimism in the group. Alice too, but only a little. She had heard Patrick muttering under his breath how he rued the day he agreed to join the group in this fool's quest. 

The sixth week had seen them here, but at this point there was nothing left. Nothing but a RV which broke down. 

If Rick was correct, they only had a hundred miles to reach Virginia and the capital. 

Maggie prayed they would get there without further incident. 

\--- 

"She's here", Alice cried out and Bob let out a whoop of joy. Rick cheered himself and even Patrick raised a smile. 

Carl walked into the RV without so much as giving her a glance. 

"I'm so sorry for not going with you", Alice apologised to her as the two women hugged. "I should have gone with you, were you hurt? Did anything happen? My god your knees, they are bleeding". 

"It's fine", Maggie let out a laugh. "You worry too much Alice". 

"Let's get going people", Rick shouted and the whole group entered the RV. 

\--- 

Three weeks had passed since then, and yet once again the RV had broken down. 

"It's dying", Patrick had confessed. "We're lucky to have gotten as far as we did". 

And so it had. They had left the RV to its fate at the outside of a overrun motel, and had traveled on foot ever since. 

The sun was beating down upon them and the heat was like a beacon. As far as Maggie could tell it was either late March or early April, she didn't know for sure. 

"I'm hungry", Carl had complained once again. "We haven't had anything to eat in like five days ago". 

"I'm sorry Carl", Rick grunted. His eyes were vacantly staring at the bag of guns and other weapons before him. "Patrick will bring something back". 

Patrick had went off hunting with a rifle he had found. Maggie would have gone with him too, but she felt weak enough as it was. The hunger pains were really starting to get to her, and Maggie didn't know how much energy she had left in her. 

But she needed to get to Washington. They all did. This was her idea. If it wasn't for her, they would still be at that farm. Inevitably waiting for a herd or a whole group of people to come down up top of them like they always did. 

Even still, a whole bunch of things could have happened in that what if. What mattered right now was their reality. And that reality seemed to get bleaker every passing day. 

She didn't want to be responsible for any more deaths. "Not this time", she whispered to herself every night before she went to sleep. "Not this time". 

"You know who I was thinking about", Rick's voice cut her thoughts like a knife carving up butter. "Tyreese. I, I wonder what he's up to now". 

Maggie looked over to the body of Bob. He was heavily snoring at this point, and Alice was besides him reading her book. Although she did look up as the name Tyreese left Rick's lips. 

"Who's Tyreese?" Alice asked.

Truth be told Maggie could hardly remember the man himself. She barely interacted with him and besides, he was caught up in the woman that Carol had killed to prevented the disease from spreading. 

But she still remembered a day where all she could do was sob heavily and weep brutal memories away. Of a sister who got a bullet to the head for her troubles, of a husband who had rushed to a dagger in the gut. 

\--- 

"Tyreese, where the fuck do you think you are going?" She could hear the voice of Sasha's cracking like a whip from where she was lying. 

They had found a cottage just on the outside of Atlanta. Maggie was lying in the double bed, vacantly looking out the window. 

They had buried Glenn and Beth outside, she had seen. Daryl had asked her if she was going to pay her respects, but she had screamed and lashed out. 

"It's all your fault, all your fault, all your fault", she had repeated over and over again like a mantra. "All your fault, all your fault, all your fault". 

Only now she heard a different side of the same story. 

"I've let somebody else die", Tyreese had responded to Sasha's question. "Again, I can't do it Sasha. I helped Daryl come up with that plan to get Beth out of the hospital. I should have agreed with Rick, but I didn't. I tried to do the good thing like I did with Martin and look what happened". 

As Tyreese started to break down, Maggie could feel a stinging sensation go through her body. It was as if a friend her stabbed her in the back. 

And in a way, he had. 

"It wasn't your fault", Sasha was trying to calm Tyreese down. "Nobody could have known that Beth would have tried to kill Dawn. You can't blame yourself for it. And thinking it through, if we had done what Rick said, we would all be dead. It was a poor plan Tyreese. Yours wasn't". 

"I don't believe that, and neither should you", Tyreese snarled and he stormed down the stairs. Sasha quickly followed him down, their footsteps shaking the small cottage. 

"This still doesn't explain why you are leaving!" Sasha shouted. "You are just going to leave your own little sister and go off on your own? Are you fucking crazy". 

They took their argument outside, but Maggie turned around to face the wall. 

She found herself shaking, and she knew in that second if she had a gun in hand, Tyreese would have been dead. 

It horrified her to think of killing somebody in her own group, but thinking of Beth's body being carried out like a rag doll and the blood sweeping out of Glenn's gut, and she knew she would make that choice a thousand times and over. 

\--- 

"He's just a man we knew", Maggie smiled a forced one as she looked at Alice. "He was with us for a few months. He left, on his own choice". 

"Thanks for telling me", Alice replied. Although her brow was furrowed, and Maggie knew that she was thinking. 

Why did he leave on his own choice? 

"I'm sure he's fine", Rick said roughly as his question went unanswered. Truth be told Maggie didn't want to think much about Tyreese. He had abandoned his own sister for shitty reasons, just because he couldn't bare to be around her. How guilty she made him feel. 

She couldn't bare to be around Daryl either yet he had stayed. She would do anything to be surrounded by a hundred cold hearted bitches just to have one more day with Beth. 

Tyreese blew his chances. 

"What do we have here?", came an unfamiliar voice. 

Maggie quickly reached for her gun, but another gun fired and the bullet struck the ground, inches away from her finger. 

She instinctively jerked back and looked up towards the source of where the voice had come from. 

The man was holding a rifle, and he was perhaps the most dirtiest man Maggie had ever set eyes on. His hair was greasy black, and he had yellow crooked teeth. It was the eyes though Maggie distrusted. 

Eyes filled with hate. 

"Thought you could just come and steal off me, heh?" The man continued. Maggie saw from the corner of her eyes Carl was huddled close to his father, who stared at the man before him. Bob had woken up in a flash, but Alice grabbed onto him tightly. 

They were all frozen in place. One wrong move, and it would be the end of them. 

"What do you mean?" Rick asked. "We haven't stolen anything". 

"You haven't stolen anything!" Rick's very sentence seemed to have drove the guy berserk. He was twitching something crazy, and his hands on the rifle was shaking. 

This wasn't going to go down well, Maggie knew almost immediately. There was a hunting knife in front of her, the one she would have used if she had went with Patrick. 

If only... 

"I saw you", the man continued. "Sneaking into my house, robbing my supplies. The supplies that kept me and Sarah alive, goddamit it". 

Now his eyes were filled with tears, but the anger was still there. 

"Look, I promise you", Rick was trying to calm the man down. "We didn't steal off you. You must have us confused with somebody else. Put the gun down, and we will help you find the thieves". 

"You're lying", the man continued. "You stole the meds and my poor Sarah died because of it. I had to put her down myself", his voice cracked. "She was all I had, and her killers are lying to my very face". 

Maggie quickly grabbed onto the knife and jumped at the man as quick as lightening. The man could barely react and Rick cried "no" and next thing Maggie knew she had the man to the ground. 

Only he was twice her weight, and he pushed her off pretty easily. Rifle forgotten, the man grabbed onto Maggie by the hair and held her against his body. 

A knife was at her throat. One cut, and it would all be over. 

"Please, put the knife down", Rick pleaded. Bob was pleading too, and Alice held onto Carl who only looked on in silence. 

"Please, do what they say", Maggie whispered. The man yanked her hair hard and she feared it was all over, but thankfully it wasn't. 

"Sarah pleaded. She begged me to get the meds back. And she didn't get them", the man's voice was beginning to crack more and more. He was sobbing, Maggie realised. "Why should I let her killer go away?" 

A gunshot fired, and Maggie was shoved to the ground. The man was on top of her, and the hot stinky fluids of blood poured to her hair. 

Rick quickly got up and with all his might shoved the body away. Grabbing onto Rick's left hand with one of her own and pushing herself up with the other, Maggie turned around to face the man who had saved her life. 

Patrick had returned from hunting, it seemed. "I shot him", his voice was strained. He let go of the rifle and it clattered to the ground. 

Alice pushed herself up and ran towards Patrick and hugged him tightly, whilst Rick laid a hand on Maggie's shoulder and looked at her sympathetically. 

"You okay?" He asked her. Maggie nodded, and satisfied with the answer turned around to check on Carl. 

Bob pushed himself up and approached the body. "He's got a couple of tinned cans", Bob observed and took the inventory in his hands. "We might actually eat tonight". 

It was such an odd situation, talking about eating over a dead body. Especially considering that body was alive a couple of minutes ago and had a knife to her throat. 

Maggie gritted her teeth and spat on the body. 

\--- 

The sounds of the storm almost drowned out the sounds of the dead, but there was simply too many of them. 

Maggie pushed her back against the barn doors as best as she could alongside Alice and Carl. She gritted her teeth as the wood kept banging against her back, but right now all that mattered was surviving another day. 

A month had passed since the death of the man whose girlfriend had once been called Sarah, and they were now more closer to the capital of the USA than ever. 

Only more problems and complications had presented itself. 

For one, they never saw the storm coming. 

She had no idea how they got separated, but they had. And now here she was, behind the barn doors hoping that the sheer weight of the herd wouldn't push through. 

"We aren't going to make it", Alice was crying. Carl looked up in fear at those words. "We aren't going to make it Maggie". 

"Don't say that", Maggie tried to shout over the noise, but she doubted Alice could even hear. "Don't say that, we are getting out of this". 

A crack, and one of the panels of the door was pushed through. A rotting hand reached out, and the glistens of rain gleamed. 

Grabbing onto the machete strapped on her holster, Maggie swung hard and true and with one, two and finally three chops the hand was removed. 

"They're going to get in", Alice continued her cries, her eyes full of fear as the certainty of death shadowed the three of them. 

They'd only been here for a couple of minutes, but Maggie saw it was true. Despite all her promises that every single one of them would reach the Capital, that they would finally reach the shelter they deserved, it wouldn't happen. 

Not for the three of them anyway. 

"Look", Carl shouted, and Maggie looked ahead. 

A couple of walkers approached. One a woman, and the other a child. They'd been inside the barn, and the shadows had hid them from where the eye could see. 

"Shit", Maggie cursed. Reaching forward to Alice's ear, Maggie shouted as loud as possible so the woman could even have the slightest notion of what she was saying. "I'll take care of these two, keep a hold on the door". 

Alice nodded her head, showing that she understood. Not even pausing for breath, Maggie pushed herself from the door and sprinted towards the mother and her child. 

Judging from the fact they looked like a bag of bones, Maggie concluded that they must have locked themselves in here and starved to death. It saddened her to think of people suffering such a fate, but right now she heard the sound of a hundred walkers and more trying to get in and that pushed her to action. 

Maggie raised the machete and struck the mother on the head. Blood splattered, and despite the machete getting stuck for a couple of seconds, Maggie held one hand on the handle and she used the other to push the little child walker away. 

Once the machete was free, it took only a couple of seconds and the deed was done. 

Just as she was about rush back towards the door to help Alice and Carl, a sudden flash of madness struck her. 

"It could work", she whispered to herself. 

Turning back to the bodies, she quickly lifted over the shirts and before she could change her mind, struck the blade into the stomach of the mother. 

She dug in deep, and the smell was nauseating but she continued to do what she was doing. She could hear Alice screaming something or another, but the idea of getting torn to bits didn't appeal to her so she ignored her. 

She couldn't waste a second. This needed to work. It had to work. 

Grabbing onto the pile of guts and trying not to puke, Maggie started to rub it all over her jumper. The smell gagged her, and as she reached out for more she was violently sick. 

"It'll help me", she whispered to herself. "The smell". 

She turned around to see Carl was next to her, having left behind his post. Alice was trying to hold the doors together, and her eyes were full of horror and questions. Maggie could only imagine what she was thinking. 

"Do it!" Carl shouted, and Maggie reached out for more guts and she smeared the atrocities all over the boy before her. 

They had used this trick a few times before. It had worked nine times out of ten. 

She didn't want this time to be the tenth. 

Carl himself vomited, some of the bile even going on Maggie's jumper. But Maggie continued doing what she was doing. It didn't matter at this point. Their lives were at stake, and at any second now the doors would come crumbling down. 

"Quick, go to the far back", Maggie told him and he did what he was told, not once pausing for breath. 

Maggie pushed herself up and ran to Alice's position. The barriers were weakening, Maggie knew. The door wouldn't last much longer. 

Alice looked at her as if she was crazy, and Maggie supposed she was. "Do what I did!" Maggie shouted at the top of her lungs, and Alice could only look at her. A look of revulsion spread amongst her features. 

"It'll save you. Trust me", Maggie pressed on. She cared for Alice a great deal, but right now she had to do what she said or it was all over. 

And she wasn't getting dragged down with her. Somebody was getting to Abraham, and his group alive, it had to happen. 

Alice looked at her for a brief moment of hesitation, before running to the bodies and doing what she and Carl had done. Thrice Alice was sick, twice more than Maggie and Carl. After doing so, she went to help Maggie but Maggie shook her head and motioned towards where Carl was. 

As she pressed her back against the door and shut her eyes as the telltale signs of a headache began to pound, Maggie knew that the heavy rain would wash the scent away and they would be toast. 

They needed to stay in this barn for as long as possible. Let the walkers trail in, as many that could fit. And then get out themselves. 

If it was possible. 

The door next to her began to break, and that's when Maggie knew it was all over. 

Pushing herself forward, Maggie didn't make a run towards the others. Instead she walked with the pretence of being calm, but inside she was anything but. 

This could get fucked up really badly, she knew with her heart of hearts. Yet, they needed to try. 

Finally reaching the two to see that Alice and Carl huddled each other close together, Maggie sat next to the pair of them and did the same. 

"Just wait until I tell us to move", Maggie whispered to the two of them. Despite the storm and the sounds of the dead, they heard her just fine. 

The walkers started piling in, their moans and groans filling the barn up with a unnatural song. They just kept flooding in with not a end in sight. Maggie could hear Carl whimpering, and without even realising it she huddled in close to the pair of them. 

In what seemed like hours was only minutes in reality, but the barn was finally almost full. The dead were near the there of them, but they were paid no mind. 

Despite the many that kept piling in, Maggie knew it was all or nothing. 

Tapping Alice on the shoulder, Maggie made a motion to get up. She held onto Alice's hand, and Alice held onto Carl's. And off the three went. 

It was hard not to bump into the walkers, and bump they did. A few gave them looks that boarded onto almost curiosity, but gave them no notice after that. A few hissed and snarled, and Maggie feared she could head Carl whimpering. 

But they kept going, and Maggie found herself praying to God inwardly. Not even God in the traditional sense, but of her father at their farm laughing and being joyful after a good harvest and of Glenn playing his guitar rather badly and Beth singing a classical song that was food to the ears. 

She could get through this, she told herself. They could get through this. 

And so they did. They were nearing the exit, and no trouble had presented itself yet. 

Until they stepped out. 

The rain battered away the smell almost instantly, and the blood and the guts seemed to wash away as if it wasn't there. 

And Maggie quickly counted. It wasn't even remotely accurate, but there was at least fifty walkers still outside the barn. 

"Run!" She shouted as one walker lurched forward. Grabbing onto her machete she slashed her way through, and the walkers drew close. 

Alice and Carl followed behind her. They rushed, they ran. The walkers moved forward to get them, but they kept on running and their way of escaping drew near. 

And they were back out in the open. 

"Come on", Maggie told them hoarsely. "Get to that cottage we found. Rick and that could be there". 

And so they pressed on. The storm was waging something fierce and lightning flashed, and the moans of the dead combined together didn't sound anything human. Maggie turned around to realise that a few had scattered, and only about twenty or so were after them. 

She thanked her lucky stars that her plan didn't go horribly wrong like it could so easily have done. 

They saw the cottage, and they approached. Carl started to cough violently as the rain slapped against the three of them violently, and Maggie almost fell to the ground at one point. 

And so they reached the cottage. Maggie pushed her weight against the door with all her might and she fell crashing to the floor. It would have made for a comical sight if the shoe was on the other foot, but right now all Maggie cared about was getting to someplace safe for the night. 

A gun was at her face, and looking up Maggie found herself looking at the colt python that belonged to Rick. 

"Thank god", he muttered and he helped her up. He hugged her and she hugged him, before he went over to Carl and Alice. Alice separated herself from Carl so the father and son could celebrate their survival and shut the door. 

"Where's Bob and Patrick?" Maggie asked. 

Rick turned around, and before he could answer the force of the storm shivered through the air and the glass windows shattered. 

"Quick, down to the basement!" Rick yelled and he grabbed onto the hatch on the floor and pulled the handle. He ushered the three of them down before shutting the hatch itself. 

As Maggie shivered after going down the stairs, she grinned despite herself as she saw Bob and Patrick looking at them. 

"Thank god you made it", Maggie walked over to Bob and hugged him tightly, and Alice rushed towards Patrick and threw herself at him. 

"Easy now girl", Patrick laughed. 

There was two small cosy beds, and it was quickly decided between the six of them that Carl would have one and Alice the other. Alice even suggested there was room enough for two, and so Maggie found herself lying besides Alice that night. 

She didn't think it was possible, but as the storm waged on, her eyes drew to a close and she found sleep at last. 

\--- 

She awoke, and the first thought she had was that she didn't dream.

Groaning and pulling herself up from the mattress, Maggie realised with a start that Alice wasn't there. Looking around, she realised none of them were. 

Maggie quickly grabbed onto the machete at the counter and ran up the stairs, and with every step she took she heard heated voices coming from upstairs. 

Pushing through the hatch, Maggie realised with a start that her group were aiming their guns and weapons at a pair of men. 

"Please", one of the men was saying. "I'm Aaron, we only want to help".


End file.
